Your Weekly Antics Sweater Weather Edition...10/26/26

Well, kids… it’s been a minute! 😂 Just when you thought you’d heard the last of me, SURPRISE! I’M BAAAAACK! 👻

That’s right, much like the masked villain in all those spooky-season horror movies you’ve been hunkered down watching, I have a knack for showing up when you least expect it. You know the scene… the main character has outrun the killer, dodged every obstacle, and is THIS CLOSE to making it safely inside the house when—BAM! 💀 Someone jumps out from behind the bushes, and all hell breaks loose.

Well, consider me that person hiding in the bushes. 🌳🤣 You thought you were safe. You thought you could finally relax. You thought you’d seen the last of me…sorry, no such luck.

Since it’s been a while, I suppose it’s only fair that I bring you all up to speed on all the nonsense that you've been missing. Settle in kids, here’s what I’ve got…

1. First and foremost, let me warn you all now that today, October 26th, is a full moon. It's not just any full moon, but the Harvest Moon. What does this mean for those of you who live in The Woo? Not a damn thing unless of course you plan on sitting out in your yard with a paint ball gun and shooting at the woodland creatures who mess with your stuff. I'm not saying that's going to be me, I have better things to do, but it's Halloween week and weirder things have happened. And should you be interested, apparently it's not just the moon that will be messing with the general public but also Mercury is in retrograde, Venus is in retrograde, Saturn is in retrograde, Uransus is in retrograde, Neptune is in retrograde, Chriron (what the hell is that???) is in retrograde, Mars is in the pre shaddow phase and Jupiter is in the pre shadow phase. In short, buckle up, we're screwed.

2. I recently discovered that I could fit 25 large pumpkins and a 100 lb dog in my jeep all at the same time. All this requires is strategic jenga-like placement, no sudden movements, strategic opening of the doors when you reach your destination, and the top down to accommodate Gibson. No pumpkins or dogs were harmed or maimed during this exercise. Exhibit 1, Gibson

 3. Now armed with the knowledge that one can purchase real live giant pumpkins at Wal Mart for $3.94 each, a realization was realized. Our entire lives we have all been getting screwed when channeling our inner New Englander going to pumpkin patches and other fall type destinations to get our fall on. This also has me thinking that should you decide to get a little adventurous next year, you can have your own pumpkin patch in your yard or front lawn and be the talk of your neighborhood. Let's say you have a pumpkin budget of $150. $150 may seem like a lot, but how many pumpkins can $150 buy you? 38 pumpkins, just enough to make your yard look like you had a successful pumpkin crop growing right there on your lawn. I’m thinking Lawn Mowing/Leaf Blowing Joe and I may be able to pull this off. If we start scattering seeds on our lawns sometime in late spring, Jen and Al may think we grew said pumpkins and not question coming home from work to 38 pumpkins on our lawns one random day next October. This could be like our own Jack and the Beanstalk situation. Exhbit 2, Ron Miller

4. I have been informed that there are real life self-proclaimed Pumpkin Snobs amongst us. This individual informed me that regardless of this low-cost pumpkin extravaganza, there is no way she would partake in the purchase of a $3.94 Wal Mart pumpkin just on principal alone. And no, I will not divulge her identity. We take anonymity seriously here at The Antics, right Robin?

5. If you go through the Starbucks drive thru with a jeep full of pumpkins and a giant dog sticking out of the top of your car, there is a strong possibility that the customer ahead of you will buy your coffee. I'm not sure if it was the pumpkins or the dog that caught her eye, but either way, the message I received from the drive thru person when I went to purchase and retrieve my large iced shaken pumpkin espresso was, "the woman in front of you said your coffee is on her...you looked like you needed it..." So, it's official. I clearly looked like I had lost my mind.

6. It is NEVER sweater season when you work at a nursing home. So, for you sweater weather lovers out there, good for you. My sweaters will remain in the attic where they belong. In my opinion, any indoor temperature above 65 degrees is an absolute abomination.

Exhibit 3, Where's Deb?

7. I’m getting nervous people. Every time I ask what the winter weather is like inside my new place of employment, the general response is it is “layering weather”. What does that mean for me? It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing when I leave the house. By the time I get to work and head up to morning meeting, I’ll have already stripped down to a t-shirt. When I'm wearing a tank top in January, don't be alarmed. Exhibit 4 The OG's of ESWA.

8.  While I’m in my office, stripping down to my tshirt and sitting in front of my fan, you may also find me at my desk doing the work of the people while enjoying my coffee, sometimes iced, sometimes hot, that I bring to work with me in one of the many stainless steel insulated travel cups I have kicking around here at the Kap house. Thing about these travel cups is the public can only guess what that travel cup contains. Does it perhaps have the booze in it that one of the vendors left on my desk for me? Is it water or some other healthy form of hydration? Is it coffee with the booze in it? One may never know.  Exhibit 5, BOOze  

9. Nahhhh just kidding. Who needs booze and Boo Baskets when you get THIS left at your desk??? Best.  Rep.  Evahhhhh.

 Exhibit 6, treats from Dellostrito

10. Gibson’s fall festivities have not stopped at pumpkin purchasing and fall flavored drinks at Starbucks. His fall activities have continued and carried over into the kitchen. He has proven that he does not require an apple cake or apple pie to be cooled before stealing both or either, right off the stove. He has no remorse, leaves little evidence, and can do so in such a way, it causes you to ask yourself if you really did bake, or if you imagined it. No evidence, No remorse, just a cast iron stomach.

Exhibit 7, criminals.

And last but not least, the crazy has already begun. To the lunatic who started leaf blowing at 6 am and interrupted my blissful reflective coffee time...I know who you are. You are ridiculous and your infraction of the peace and quiet of the 02 has been noted. It's on my friend. IT - IS - ON.

Have a great week!!! 👻🎃