Your Weekly Antics, Grammy Tracker Edition...8/24/26
Well kids, it’s been a while. I'm sad to say I am a big liar and have not improved upon getting The Antics out every week. Some of you may be disappointed by my lack of regularity and commitment to the nonsense I spew week to week, others may be feeling as if they dodged a bullet. Either way, I’m back at it, and here’s what I’ve got….
1. Officer Foley, let’s pick on him a bit, shall we? Why you ask, why not? Let’s review all the reasons why Officer Foley, whose first name I can never remember - or maybe he doesn’t really have a first name, who knows - all the reasons why he should enroll in the next CIT class, shall we?
a. Because I’m wicked funny, and any chance to hang out with me is guaranteed to be a hilarious time.
b. Unlimited number of free snacks – we don’t judge - you can even put in special requests; I’m sure Luis would love that. Anything for you Foley.
c. Angel will bake cookies and let you use his boat anytime you want.
d. Because Sue Miller said you should quit messing around and get your ass signed up and in there, that’s why.
e. Because if I convince you to enroll and attend class when Angel couldn’t, that’s a win for all of us, but especially for me.
Exhibit 1, this is not Officer Foley. This is Angel and Rodney...get it straight.
2. Anyone else feel like the word “journey” is overused? Every time I turn around someone is telling me about their journey…their weight loss journey, wellness journey, journey of self-discovery, self-improvement journey, financial journey, career journey, emotional journey…the only journey I’m worried about is getting through the damn day, that's my journey.
Exhibit 1, Grammy & Crew.
3. I’m going to overuse journey right here in #3. Get it together Foley and begin your CIT JOURNEY…next class…Monday, September 7th – I signed your ass up...be there.
Speaking of journey's...have any of you besides Marj heard about the Lentil Festival?
Yup, this is a real thing, and our very own Marj St. John is in attendance. Located in Pullman, Washington, this has been going on since 1989, who knew? According to the literature and signage about this annual shin-dig, the Lentil Festival is “Home to the world’s largest lentil chili bowl, the festival brings together a thriving food and artisan marketplace including live music offered up by rising global stars…”
They even have a parade through their downtown including bagpipers, and I have the video to prove it. I do not have the release to share said video, so you’re going to have to take my word for it. What I will say is when Bagpipers are participating, it's the real deal. Exhibit 2, Marj doing the work of the people at the Lentil Festival...the work never stops.
5. I’m heading into week 8 of my new job at Lutheran Home and I’m happy to report that Marshall is finally talking to me. He spent the first 6-7 ( you like that, Meri?) weeks of my employment dodging me…getting off elevators I would enter, coming to a screeching halt with his walker to abruptly pivot and go in the opposite direction, (which speaks volumes about the work of our rehab department...) and avoiding the area my office is in all together. Peace has been restored until I do something to piss him off again and he returns to his vapor-esque self. Wait until the first snowstorm and I tell him I'll be bunking in his room because I refuse to drive in the snow...
6. During our family meeting held at Sue Miller’s house, this is what was going down in the Grammy Tracker group chat while we were all supposed to be listening. That’s okay, that’s why Deb and Tina were there, someone needs to know what the hell is going on. Topic of group chat discussion was the upcoming nuptials of Sam and Casey, the accommodations, firework schedule, and whether or not Bryce would be willing to stay with any of us or if he'd be getting his own room. Exhibit 3, Grammy Tracker group text...where these kids are solving the world's problems one text at a time...
Here's more intel on some of the fools that are participants of the Grammy Tracker Family Group Chat - bats. What happens when you get these girls together to dog sit in a home they are already convinced is haunted? You throw a bat into the mix and watch chaos ensue. Dad a.k.a. Uncle Al was quickly dispatched because there was nothing I was bringing to the table when it came to getting rid of a winged creature, you all know how I feel about critters and rodents. While I sat home comfortably in my p.j's and Al was assigned bat removal, Kiley was charged with collecting video evidence of all the shenanigans. Kiley has many unknown unrecognized talents, and these hidden talents were put to the test during this crisis. While capturing riveting video evidence of her sister and cousins that will surely be used against them at a later date, she did so while protecting herself from that winged villain all while keeping her margarita upright and intact, not spilling a drop. As far as the other fools are concerned, Exhibit 4 speaks for itself...
In case anyone's wondering, Gibson is still an ass. In this week's episode of what Gibson can destroy because he's pissed he was left home...the kitchen mat that has been one with the floor for quite some time until this ass hat decided we need to change up his decor. Exhibit 5, what was formally our standing comfort mat.
The 3-3-3 Rule. There's a common
3-3-3 Rule that is recommended when adopting a new dog. Generally speaking, it takes 3 days for the dog to decompress, feel less overwhelmed, and comfortable in their surroundings. It takes 3 weeks for the dog to learn the family's routine and start feeling like they've settled in, and 3 months to start feeling at home, when the dog feels completely comfortable with their new family, settles into their new routine, and their true personality finally emerges. I have decided that the 3-3-3 Rule also applies to people, specifically me. I've settled right into my new job at Lutheran, I hope my coworkers are ready for me. Exhibit 6, the 3-3-3 Rule adjusted.
I'm happy to say that I also received communion while at work. I met Pastor Dan. Pastor Dan offered me communion. I let Pastor Dan know that he was taking his chances and there was a good chance I may burst into flames 🔥or be swallowed up by the earth. Pastor Dan was undeterred and bravely carried on. I'm happy to report that Pastor Dan successfully gave me communion, he and I both survived, and lived to talk about it. I haven't seen Pastor Dan since, now I'm wondering if I scared him away.
🌕
And last but not least...heads up kids...our next full moon is this coming Friday, August 28th. Don't say I didn't warn ya...
Have a great week! ✌️
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