Your Weekly Antics, Hybrid Fruit is Taking Over Edition...

Well kids, I hope you survived the full moon. It was a little hairy there in the beginning of the week but have no fear, the work of the people prevailed, and we carried on no worse for the wear. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. In addition to surviving the full moon I hope you’ve all survived the first week back to school. I’m not just talking about those of you who have school aged kids that you had to rip away from summer and throw them back into their regular routine. I’m also talking about those of you who didn’t take into account the back-to-school traffic you’d be up against when leaving for work this week. Good luck and Godspeed people may the rerouting of all work-related travels begin.

2. I was driving to work one morning this week minding my own business and got bored with sports radio. Generally, when that happens it means there’s something on the radio that the universe thinks I should be listening to on my drive, so channel surfing I went and landed on Ozzy’s Mama I’m Coming Home. Going about my ride I went, when I cut up one of the many side streets I peruse on my ride to work when I was coming up on a stop sign and began to slow down. As I was doing so, I noticed an elderly woman standing on the sidewalk waving at me. I recognized her and of course had to stop, hop out and say hello. She was happy to see me, but more interested in the fact that I was listening to Ozzy than actually running into me. 🤘

Exhibit 1, the middle kid and her teacher friends 1st day of school picture.

3. For my loyal readers out there, it’s been a while since we’ve talked about what I’d like to refer to as chemically engineered fruit. There is no way no how that a naturally grown blueberry that made its start in the world in a blueberry field somewhere is growing this big on its own. Exhibit 2 and Exhibit 3 you will find

the photo’s I took of the blueberries I had in my lunch this week lined up next to a quarter and a lifesaver just for size reference.  

4. Here’s another abomination. What I want to know is, how did the farmer who came up with this monstrosity against nature come up with this idea. In Exhibit 4 you will find a bag of “Plumcots”. For starters, that’s a stupid name. 2., they’re hard as rocks and this bag has been on my kitchen counter for a week and nothing about them is ripening or changing, and 3. Why? Why are we messing with fruit? If you want a plum and apricot combination how about you take both, cut them up, mix them in a bowl and have at it. Or, bring one of each to work with you and have one for a morning snack, the other for lunch. The middle kid said she’s been eating them, but I still refuse to jump on the bandwagon of hybrid fruit until I’m shipped off to space and am forced to eat what I grow…and when that happens, I will be focused on how to grow my own Diet Coke. Exhibit 4, the Plumcot.

5. Here’s an idea while we’re on the topic of messing with food. The chocolate drizzled “Popped Cakes”. If Wegmans is going to continue to mess with food, maybe they should make these smaller and present them to the Catholic Church, see if they want to implement these into communion replacing the traditional wafer…I bet they’d get more people to attend mass. Exhibit 5, Popped Cakes.

6. We solved the mystery of why my nephew Bryce trimmed Grammy’s shrubs with a weed wacker. When one cuts the chord of the electric hedge trimmers with the hedge trimmer that is attached to that chord, you find yourself with an inoperable power garden tool and must resort to the next best thing in your arsenal, and in Bryce’s case, that was the weed wacker. Exhibit 6, the kid behind the chord.

7. Who is the Fairest Mermaid in all the land? Ronnie Miller. Ron’s middle kid (who according to Kiley was born before her twin brother Bryce, had a mermaid themed birthday party last weekend and my brother dressed for the occasion. Always a team player. Exhibit 7, Ron in his mermaid gear.

8. Despite being the best Aunt ever I wanted to make sure I had my facts straight and asked my niece Kiley if I was remembering correctly that she was in fact, born before her twin brother Bryce. Kiley having better things to do than get immediately back to me in point two seconds as I wanted, I also texted my brother the same exact question. Please see his response. This is why I am the best aunt ever. You're welcome, Kiley, you can use this against your father forever. Exhibit 8.

9. Cooking battles continue here in the Kap house, or lack thereof in my case according to Al. Al’s taken on the majority of the cooking tasks as of late and he recently thought it would be a good idea to tell me about it. Clearly a lapse in judgement for him because it took me about 2.5 seconds to point out that I cooked all the time when it really counted and I successfully kept the Kap kids fed and alive. Now they’re all old enough to fend for themselves, my job is done.

10. Beet continues to be out and about wandering the streets taking in the sights and sounds of Boston and sending me all sorts of unique and interesting finds she comes across. I’m happy to report that she recently survived a goose encounter at the Esplanade and lived to talk about it. I’m telling you right now…geese and turkeys, they’re trying to take over. If they team up with the creators of hybrid fruit, we’re really gonna be screwed. Exhibit 9, this is Goose the dog. I am not publishing any pictures of the actual goose in question because I don't feel those bastards deserve anymore free publicity.

And last but not least, I hope you all get outside to enjoy the sunshine today and have a fabulous long holiday weekend! ☀

Have a great weekend!