Your Weekly Antics, Your Plants Are Talking About You Edition...2-9-2024

Well kids, according to Punxsutawney Phil, the legendary Groundhog who did not see his shadow last week, that means an early spring. If we were relying solely on him and his predictions, we would believe that he is 100% correct after this fabulous weather we’ve been having. This week the temps have gotten as high as the 50’s and the sun did not disappoint, out there in full force shining away to its heart content. I may have even gotten a little bit of a sunburn while out and about this week doing the work of the people. While standing inside someone’s house staring at the sun that was shining down upon me through the hole in my clients roof, I pulled up a lawn chair, making lemonade out of lemons. Never miss an opportunity to soak up some Vitamin D, here’s what I’ve got…

1. Don’t get too comfortable and go running to put your shovels away, because this is New England. We all know that this weeks fabulous weather is not going to last, no matter how much we will it to. The weather won’t stay this nice just because your neighbor down the street chose to spend her afternoon shoveling the snow from her lawn out into the street – admit it, we all have one of those neighbors, and mine was out there getting her sweat on shoveling her grass. Hate to burst your bubble lady, but our faithful meteorologists are calling for snow next week. Unless you plan on covering your lawn in plastic, it’s going to get snowed on, again and again and again, at least through April. You're not new here, you should know better.

2. Don’t think the grass and plants don’t know what you’re doing. They’re not as anxious as you are to expose them to the elements. They’re tired and are hibernating for crying out loud, recharging for the growing season so leave them alone. They like being buried beneath the snow and are hiding from you under the remainder of the leaves left behind from fall clean up. According to new studies out there, scientists have determined that plants communicate with each other and warn one another when stressed. So unless you want your entire yard pissed off at you, leave them alone until spring. No need to pull in to your driveway to an angry bed of tulips because you had to be an over achiever and start uncovering them before they were ready to be exposed. You think it’s finally happened and I’m off the rails? I speak the truth...read here…https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/plants-can-talk-yes-really-heres-how

And while we're at it...that poor Groundhog isn't bothering anyone...let the poor bastard sleep...quit tanking him out of hibernation.

3.  With the above said, I’m pretty sure that every kind of vegetation out in our yard is more than disgruntled no thanks to Gibson. This unseasonably warm weather has prematurely brought on mud season. This may not make much sense to those of you who do not have dogs or who have never had a dog, but if you have a resident of the 4 paw variety who lives in your home, you’ll know what I’m talking about. I’m pretty sure when the remainder of the snow melts out in the yard here on our corner, any and all blades of grass that used to reside here are gone. Referring back to what we talked about in #2, I’m also certain that all varieties of vegetation who had been living happily in our yard now have PTSD every time they hear the front door open and Gibsons paws hit the ground. I can only imagine what my Hydrangea bush has been saying about him as he was digging that 4 foot hole right next to her on the side of the house. He may or may not have been attempting to Shawshank himself out of here to avoid the youngest Kap kids wrath after he once again ate her dinner right off the stove. Now I know why Gramma Edie's plants did so well and always looked so happy - she fed them vodka.

4.  You want to enjoy the warmth and sunshine in a more productive and fun way than shoveling your grass? Do as the woman who hangs out at the Newton Square rotary does. She walks on through the rotary and takes up her spot on the sidewalk, radio in hand, and gets her groove on. Soaking in her vitamin D while singing, dancing and waving to traffic, a smile on her face the entire time. After telling myself forever that I would one day stop to talk to her and get her story, I did so this week, and our conversation didn’t disappoint. A lifelong resident of the Woo, she’s spending her sunny days spreading cheer. If we all allowed ourselves to enjoy ourselves like this lady does now and then I bet we’d all be a little less stressed and crazy - If you drive by and see her, be sure to beep and wave.   

5.  Anxious for spring and more consistent warmer days? This week has spoiled us, but don’t let your guard down yet, you’re smarter than that. The New England weather Gods like to suck us into thinking we’re over the hump, it must really be later in the winter months than we think, global warming is working in our favor and there can’t possibly be any more snow in our future. It’s only mid February in the Woo people, get it together, it’s not even Valentine’s Day yet. According to our local weather people, snow’s coming next week. They’re all worked up but last I heard they’re thinking maybe 3 inches or could be 15, who knows. Slow winter weather season makes for overly ambitious weather people. Stay in your lane. It’s a flurry not a blizzard.   

 6.  Valentines day, the hallmark holiday that has people running to the store to buy chocolates and flowers to show their undying love and affection for their someone special. According to The National Retail Federation, American consumers spent an estimated $25.9 billion in 2023 on Valentine's Day, one of the busiest holidays for florists and confectioners. Another fun fact…all that junk you spend money on for February 14th will be 75% off on February 15th. Work smarter not harder people. You’re welcome.

7.  And to make matters worse for those of you who celebrate the holiday of hearts, or who enjoy a chocolatey treat now and then, Hershey’s Chocolate issued a warning this week that cocoa prices have hit a record high due to the dry weather affecting crops in West Africa. Poor harvests driving up prices, is hitting chocolate makers in the pocket, therefore it will hit us in ours. That 75% off bin at CVS may not feel like 75% off after all.

8. If purchasing over priced chocolate for Deb, please provide her with those that are pre packaged to help prevent it from melting within the pockets of her heated vest. If it should melt, at least it will remain contained in the packaging. We were anticipating an update on the status of the pockets of Debs heated vest from her melted m&m fiasco from last week, but she was too busy to update us on such trivial things. Now an official celebrity, she appeared in The Worcester Telegram & Gazette last week. She is everywhere people, everywhere. With the increase in cost of chocolate we are hoping she is more responsible with the care of chocolate moving forward. Exhibit 1, photo featured in The Telegram & Gazette 2/3/2024 in article regarding the closing of Zorba's Restaurant.

9.  Stopped into a local coffee shop today, one I haven’t frequented before not for any particular reason other than they have poor parking. Driving by and seeing a rare open spot out front and having a few extra minutes to kill, I figured I’d stop in. I was not disappointed, because their seating area located to the right of their serving counter, had a group of elderly women sitting around drinking coffee and packing up dozens and dozens of Valentine’s cookies. I quickly decided that the owner of this shop is brilliant – she’s getting these ladies to package up all her V day confections for the price of free coffee, a gig I would volunteer for, AND this activity is keeping these ladies off the streets. #Bluehairedcookiepackinghooligans.

10. This time of year isn’t just for Valentine’s Day sweets and confections, but it is also Girl Scout Cookie season. We at The Antics hope you were generous with your Girl Scout Cookie purchases and are like Andrea Lucy Allen, patiently awaiting the delivery of those much sought after cookies. Be extra nice to your Girl Scouts people, with the increase in chocolate costs you may be hitting them up for any left over boxes of cookies they still need to sell. Call Blaire or her Nana Colleen, they may be able to hook you up.

And last but not least, should you partake in the celebration of Valentine's Day getting yourself outside while binging on those recently delivered Girl Scout cookies, may you do so with pleasure. Don't forget to beep and wave at the singing Newton Square lady.

Have a great weekend!