Your Weekly Antics, I'm Back Edition...5/1/26

Well kids, it’s been a while. For those of you who have noticed the absence of The Antics, I apologize for my brief hiatus. I hope you’ve all been managing the full moons, sporadic and temperamental spring weather, and all that other fun stuff without me, my two cents, and my bringing attention to the ridiculous things we see day to day when out in the world. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. Let’s start off the return from our unintended hiatus by addressing what can only be the reason for all the chaos that has ensued this week. Today, my friends, there is a full moon, and not just any full moon, but the flower moon. This full moon will be the first of two moons that will grace us with their presence this month making that second full moon on May 31st a Blue Moon. No, not because the moon will be blue, but because as the second full moon in a single calendar month, this is classified as a Blue Moon. Are you following all of this? Bottom line, buckle up…the universe is planning on consistently messing with us for the next 30 days…put in for your days off and hide…you’re welcome. 

2. Woodland creatures. For you regular readers out there, mentioning the woodland creatures from time to time is nothing out of the ordinary. Think what you will but I stand firm in my belief that they are slowly but surely infiltrating our spaces and continue to push the limits of what they can and cannot get away with. Raccoons for example. Clearly those little bastards did not get the memo that if you want trouble, then mess with Sue Miller and her trash. The raccoons of her hood thought it would be a good idea to welcome themselves up on her deck and treat her trash as if it was a professionally laid out Michelin Star buffet. They learned the hard way that Sue Miller still has a good arm and will hurl just about anything she can get her hands on out her back door to deter freeloaders of nature from tearing up her trash. So, for those of us who know and love my mother, it should be no surprise to any of us that the first thing she had handy and within reach was being chucked out the back door, and on this particular occasion the projectile object of her choice, was a full bottle of Windex. Not only did it scare the raccoons away, but upon exploding on the deck, it served as a deterrent to future potential savages from getting her trash and sanitized the mess as well. All in all, it was a win. Exhibit 1, written proof that Windex was the weapon of choice.

3. When the raccoons aren’t harassing her, the paper shredder is messing with her. This may be evidence that there may be a genetic link to my fascination and love for the paper shredder. Exhibit 2, text of paper shredder discussions. Don’t worry, Sue Miller was not using it improperly and did in fact burn it out. It has since been replaced with a new upgraded heavy duty industrial model. Let the shredding commence.  

4. Let’s move on to the woodland creatures of the 02. You try to do a good thing and give back to nature by putting out a bird feeder for our small winged friends only to have this fat bastard help himself. Good thing we have a house full of dogs who bark at everything that walks past our yard because they could care less when one of these nasty things comes right up to the window close and personal like he’s trying to get to know me. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times. Squirrels are shifty and can’t be trusted. I don’t need them staring in at me with those beady little eyes while they’re robbing me blind. Exhibit 3, free loaders.

5. Some poor misdirected soul in attempts to lighten the spirits of their peeps in the workplace, has begun to leave random things here and there around the office. This may or may not be in an effort to spread good cheer without being sent to HR because we can’t have fun like we used to...this is the best we can do… Exhibit 4, random frogs here, there and everywhere. To my PS peeps, I’ve submitted a new suggestion in the suggestion box. I think we should be able to ring a bell whenever we close a case - Ryann, you’ll probably never be able to use it, but the rest of us may. Weird I haven’t heard back on that suggestion yet…

6. Here’s an abomination if I’ve ever seen one…who in their right mind thought it would be a good idea to mix cinnamon with m&m’s? Someone in the Kap pack whose name I shall not mention, brought these home and was quickly informed thanks, but no thanks. Disgusting. These should be outlawed. Exhbit 5, the m&m's in question...

7. For many who do their fall clean up, this involves preparing their yards and planting bulbs for the following spring. All this work leaves the planter of those bulbs anxiously awaiting spring to see the fruits of their labor in the form of blooming tulips. We are no different down here on our corner and the middle Kap kid went about her business back in October planting her tulip bulbs up and down and all around like it was her job. As soon as the slightest sign of good weather was upon us, she began hurrying home from work each day in anticipation of viewing the progress her little tulip friends had made, and they finally began to bloom. This joy was short lived however once the wild hood rabbits of the 02 came along and ate the tops off all of them. Moral of the story, her tulip bulbs survived the wrath of the squirrels and the winter, but perhaps as I’ve always suspected, the hood rabbits and squirrels are working together. Maybe they came to an agreement of sorts, letting the rabbits have this one - sure, we’ll leave the bulbs alone this winter the rotten squirrels said , as long as you rabbits agree to let them grow just enough that you can go along and snap all the tops off of them. As long as we all find a way to torture these people, let’s do it. Exhibit 6, more evidence that the woodland creatures are out to get us.    

8. I was at a local fire department recently to give a presentation. I may or may not have slid down the firepole when the training was over. This is why I go to speak at these things…for perks like sliding down firepoles. exhibit 7, not the firepole, but instead the bell that is readily available should anyone take the suggestion I mentioned in #5. Except for Ryann...she'll never be able to use it - ever.

9. Retirement plan #87…I recently read about a travelling pub and decided this should be added to my list of potential retirement options, or maybe even today options. I'm thinking I may bring this experience to America, or if I go missing, you may be able to find me in Ireland joining this band wagon, quite literally. Before hitting the road and wondering on over to the Emerald Isle however, I may give it a go right her in the Woo. I wonder how long it would take for anyone to notice that I’ve parked my newly acquired travelling pub in my work parking lot and that everyone stops returning to the office after lunch.  

Mobile Irish Pub Rental in Massachusetts | The Wandering Druid

10. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you see this….a couple leash walking their Rooster in downtown Boston. Yet it’s frowned upon that I take Stan, my emotional support fish everywhere I go… 

    Exhibit 8, The Rooster.

    
    

And last but not least, may you all have a great Friday of this first full moon of a Blue Moon month and may none of your work phones ring past 4:30pm.

Have a great weekend!