Your Weekly Antics, Well Summer, Nice of You to Show Up Edition...9-7-23

Well kids, hazy, hot and humid, the three dreaded H's. The H's we generally don't hear about in September after Labor Day. After we've had our summer vacations in the rain. After we've used up all our vacation time in the off chance we'd get one full day of sun without a sprinkle or cloud in the sky to ruin our planned outdoor activities. After we've sent our kids, who already don't want to be in school, to our non air conditioned classrooms to shrivel up in the heat, like your Uncle Stan's over cooked baked ham he tried serving up that time for Sunday dinner. If we've said it once, we'll say it again. Mother Nature is no joke and the joke's on us. Here's what I've got...

1. Two Farmer’s Almanacs? Who knew? I certainly did not. According to our sources here at The Antics, there are in fact two Farmer’s Almanac’s in New England, and although they sound very much alike, they are different publications. The older of the two is The Old Farmer’s Almanac, based in Dublin NH dating back to 1792. The Farmer’s Almanac based out of Lewiston, Maine was founded in 1818. They may be two separate publications, but they are both predicting a snowy winter. It may be hot, humid and threatening to top out at 90 or more degrees today, but that’s the scoop people, get your shovels ready. The way the weather's been all over the country, we could be under a foot of snow this time next week –

2. The heat and humidity did not deter what Helen H. Bibeau defined as a prehistoric tetradactyl hanging dangerously in her line of sight from the visor of the jeep. Lucky for all of us, we had the top down, or as Helen likes to refer to it, we had the cover off, and had only just pulled away from her house, because Helen hopped out of our moving vehicle faster that she could scream spider attack. High pitched screaming, yelling and jumping around ensued - the situation was brought under control when remnants of a paper bag was located and then used to delicately remove the spider - initial intention to set him free in the wild of the streets of the Woo until direct eye contact was made with the creepy fella. It was then I realized this very real fact - that he actually had eyes that were staring in to my soul. We're all about truth and responsibility here at The Antics so I'm here to tell you that it did not end well for the little critter - he may have been squished. Yup, the spider was harmed people, what can I say, I'm only human, and it was either me or him.

3. The heat and humidity are affecting everyone in more ways than we can report. Worcester’s youth, back in school for only 7 full days so far, are already getting time off due to the weather. The excessive heat has caused the call for early dismissals for today and tomorrow. Way back in the 70’s and 80’s we too were in classrooms housed by un air conditioned, poorly ventilated brick oven style school buildings and I’ll tell you this. We never got dismissed early or had days off for heat. We sat in our classrooms, our butts sweaty and stuck to the hard wooden or metal chairs, and thanked God if a breeze just so happened to come our way through the over sized cranked open screen-less windows that were so large your Dad’s Ford Station Wagon could've driven through it. Bunch of wimps…watch your pools people, could be some pool hopping during the walks home this week.

4. I am just finishing up my week of on call - the Full Blue Super Moon week of on call I should add, and it did not disappoint. Best call of the weekend I got was for a woman who put her cat in the refrigerator. Her live cat. I repeat, she put him in the refrigerator. When I asked her why she put the cat in the refrigerator she told me, he was hot. All right then, reasonable explanation. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. No cat was harmed, he was taken to safety. Should this surprise any of you? You all know I like animals more than people. For the record, if one googles what happens if you refrigerate a cat, this is what comes up...

The only real chance your cat would die is if it was in for a long enough time that it suffocated. Your fridge is above freezing, your cat is covered in fur and it's blood pumps through it's body at a rate far in excess of what your's does. Outdoor cats live in temperatures far below freezing.

Good to know...

5. The calling of early dismissals at the Worcester Public Schools this week may or may not be due to the youngest Kap kid. She has taken to singing in the hallways in between classes. We have video evidence of this activity but have decided to spare you all and refrain from sharing. You’re welcome.

6. The subject of Paid Time Off recently came up and the youngest Kap kid asked how it worked. Meri made it perfectly clear that her plan is, and I quote, I’m going to save all that time up. Then I’m going to take a month off without telling any of you where I’m going. I’ll find myself a lazy river and toss myself and my raft right in. I’ll be set up with a nice cold lemonade, my laptop, a hotspot for wifi and will float in that river while watching the latest episode of Ghost Adventures. She’s got it all planned out. Heads up kid, you don't get paid time off from school, you’re gonna need a job.

7. While going through the Paxton Dunkin Donuts Drive thru one morning earlier in the week, I was sitting in line waiting for my Nutty Pumpkin Iced coffee. I look over to the vacant lot to the right of the drive thru and see a group of four older men sitting in their lawn chairs in a circle amidst their parked cars. They looked to be chatting it up in the sunshine while enjoying the fresh air and their morning coffee in the company of good friends. Take my word for it...there are endless opportunities to be had if you drive around with a folding chair in your cars. This to me is the way we should all be living. #lifegoals

8. Exhibit 1, This is Cumby and Fro Zone, two free tomato plants that Meri decided to adopt. Why these names you ask? They were gifted these names because upon first retrieval of said plants, Meredith thought they were in Cumberland Farms slushy cups. Upon further inspection it was determined they are in fact housed in Panera cups, but it was too late, names stuck, so Cumby and Frozone it is. Here in the 02 we are lucky enough to have the Plant Ward, a little plant store tucked away up in Tatnuck Square. In addition to being a plant lovers oasis, they are community conscious and have a community shelf located outside of their front door. Their customers can leave plants and take plants, hence how we came upon Cumby and Frozone. Now let there be no mistake about it – Cumby and Frozone were not neglected. They weren’t sitting in a dark corner somewhere without proper sunlight and water. They were not left on a curb to battle the elements. They were living their best lives on the community shelf where they could watch the coming and goings of vehicle and pedestrian traffic on their little section of Pleasant Street without a worry in the world. They had fresh air. They had fellow plants surrounding them day and night; making new friends, the rotation of their likeness on going as plants were donated and adopted on the daily. Now they’re here, bored out of their minds and covered in Gibson’s Dog slobber awaiting a proper planter. They may be hatching a plan as we speak, to hitch a ride back to the free community shelf at the Plant Ward. Support our local businesses people, get on up to the Plant Ward, 1102A Pleasant Street - check them out.

9. Okay, so I admit when I've made a mistake. I have a horrible habit of driving around all over town before realizing I'm at like one mile until empty. I have run out of gas on more occasions than I can count, and as a matter of fact, the legend Leah Hazard, can attest to that fact because many years ago, she borrowed my car at work, only to get in it, find I was beyond E, and off to the gas station she went to fill my tank. Fast forward to this past week when I should have enough life experience to know better, I took the beloved Kia minivan, parked her on a hill to wait for the middle kid, and the Kia's tank betrayed us, telling the Kia she was empty. There was still gas in there, I know there was, but gravity wasn't working in our favor and the poor Kia's tank lead her to believe she was bone dry. What's one to do? Call Al. Call Al knowing that this may solve my problem of being stranded on the side of the road, as well as pull out the pen for him to add yet another thing to the list of I-Told-You-So's he holds near and dear to his hear. Options, take that risk and call Al, call Triple A and wait 3 hours, or walk. Al it was.

10. Al shows up. A few I-told-you-so's at the ready, but much to my surprise we didn't hear even one of them, he chose to cut me some slack. Instead we now have to listen to him call himself Single A, as he was acting like Triple A. 🙄 As Sue Miller would say...don't quit your day job...

And last but not least...be good to yourselves.

Have a great weekend!