Your Weekly Antics, the Woodpecker Hotel and Birdhouse Placement Edition...4/25/25

Well kids, here we are, another Friday, another week that I'm late getting your weekly Antics out. Look at it this way, one extra day I have to discover more useless facts and finds that you all had no idea you were living your life perfectly fine without knowing. We're givers here at The Antics...you're welcome. Here's what I've got...

1. Here on our corner of the 02 we live on a fairly quiet, flat street, perfect for walkers to take a leisurely stroll. We get local walkers, visiting walkers, group walkers, young walkers, old walkers, dog walkers, cat walkers, pigeon walkers, you name it. We are alerted by Gibson all – day – long, whether he's inside or out, when anyone even thinks about walking by our humble abode. Due to this activity, we’ve been known to occasionally look out the window, not really to make sure everything’s okay, but to get the giant beast to shut the hell up. That brings me to who Al refers to as Angry Bob Ross. Angry Bob Ross, named so because he looks like Bob Ross if Bob were angry, walks by every day with his same little dog and gives the same dirty look to Gibson day in and day out, like it should be some huge surprise to him that he and his furry friend are being barked at. Yesterday morning as he was walking, or as I would like to think trying to sneak past our house at o-dark-hundred without Gibson noticing, Al wondered if Angry Bob Ross was angry because he had suffered an UN-happy accident. I apologize in advance for that one, but if I have to suffer through it, so should all of you.

2. I think it’s fairly safe to say that we all have our routines. We tend to take the same drives, the same roadways and routes to get to work, school, and other places we may venture to every day. We drive by the same streets, the same houses, the same landmarks, but after a while they all blend into the landscape and one day you look up for some reason and see an oddity that you’ve been driving by all this time, and it catches your attention. That happened to me this week. I drive by this same house several times a day and for whatever reason on this particular day, I looked at the front of the house perhaps a bit longer than usual, and noticed this, a bird house, hung up on the front of the house, directly above the front entrance. Adorable, right? Or maybe not. Exhibit 1, poor birdhouse placement

3. This of course got me thinking…as cute as the bird house was, painted to perfectly match the house from which it was hung, is the placement of this birdhouse truly in the best interest of the homeowner? I would have to say not. These people are definitely taking their chances, or maybe that’s just me. If that was me, walking in and out of my front door all day every day, you know, and I know, I would be sh*t on, no questions asked. Let’s work smarter, not harder people. There are enough people and things outside of our homes home looking to sh*t all over you, why would you willingly invite and promote that directly over the main entrance/exit of your own house? Let’s try to be smarter than that.

Exhibit 2, poor birdhouse placement.

4. Regarding birds, Exhibit 3, a screen shot of Sue Miller’s commentary from a recent Antics. She wanted me to know that there were, in fact, no chickens on her street, but instead, just hens. She was referring to herself and all of her elderly neighbors…her words, not mine.

5. The Easter Lily wars of last week have concluded and the results are in. Sue Miller has moved Father Trainors Easter Lily from its coveted spot directly in the center of the bay window and relocated it to the dining room table. I told her that Mrs. Alcon’s lily remains in her front window, why had my mother moved hers already? She told me the war is over, and she has declared herself the winner…let’s hope Mrs. Alcon doesn’t read The Antics…

Exhibit 4, we give you, the self-proclaimed winner of The Lily Wars 2025.

6. We have an ailing tree right up against our yard. A naked tree if you will, its bark having been peeled from the trunk, piece by piece, landing haphazardly in our yard – and after discussing its condition with my backyard neighbor, I told him I’d call the Asian Longhorn Beetle people in the event that’s what ate the tree. They were more than happy to come out, check out the tree that very same day, and then happily inform me that no, it was not the Asian longhorn beetle, but instead, a woodpecker infestation. Of course it is. Birds, I hate them. Maybe Gibson should change his barking trajectory and bark at the woodpeckers instead of Angry Bob Ross, then maybe Bob would be less angry.

7. I haven’t told Lawnmower Joe the woodpecker information yet, as he worked hard last year to rid the woodpeckers from the woodpecker hotel that was in his front yard. Can’t wait to tell him that he may have torn down their home, but the freeloading partiers quickly relocated and have taken up residence just mere feet away from their former residence. Watch it Joe, those bastards are making their way back to you.

Exhibit 5, pictures I take at traffic lights.

8. What do you do when your yard is being taken over by woodland creatures, woodpeckers and a loitering angry Bob Ross? You bust into a bag of peanut m&m’s. Just to keep things interesting and to pace yourself so not to eat the entire bag at once, I recommend that you eat them one color at a time. Monday was red m&m’s due to Patriots day of course, Tuesday was orange, Wednesday was yellow, Thursday was green, and Thursday night was blue. I’m aware that Thursday morning and Thursday night are the same day, don’t judge me. I’m going to CVS later today to get a brand-new bag to try this again – practice makes perfect people. Mind your business.

9. Correlation of colors and plastic easter eggs is where the money was at last weekend folks. This year, instead of an easter egg hunt, we took the festivities inside and upped the stakes. We’re talking about fat cash and gift cards with Grammy as the bad ass banker. That’s how we celebrated Easter in the Kap house. Jesus took the wheel and the oldest Kap kid dominated, reigning victorious, leaving his sisters groveling to share some of his winnings. Exhibit 6, Easter games.

10. There was what some people thought, an alligator spotted in Indian Lake this week. Real live video to boot, of some creature swimming about the lake. I am no alligator expert, or expert of anything now that I mention it, but who am I to say if it was, or was not, a real live alligator. Stranger things have been seen and have happened in the Woo, so I was definitely disappointed to get information from The Antics inside sources that it was not, in fact, an alligator but a muskrat. I lost immediate interest because muskrat has the word rat in it and we all know how I feel about rats...I hate them.

    An alligator in a Worcester lake? Not quite, says police department - masslive.com

    
    

And last but not least...looks like the weather may cooperate with us this time for this next rather interesting celestial event, so go on outside and look up...you may be able to catch a glimpse of the smiley face comprised of a sliver of the moon and two planets. According to NASA, the “smiley face” will be made up of an alignment of the two planets and the crescent moon, creating a celestial grin. NASA goes on to say, it may not look exactly like a mouth and a pair of perfectly lined up eyes smiling at you, but we don't expect perfection here at The Antics.

We could all use a few smiles these days, go out and enjoy this one.

Have a great weekend!