Your Weekly Antics ... The Mandolorians Great Refrigerator Debate Edition...3-9-2023

Well kids, I hope you are all surviving the full Worm Moon - please take note that I've said surviving, and not survived, because we are still in the throws of it. If you didn't heed my advice and avoid getting sucked in to the warm luminous glow of the full moon in all its glory hovering in the night sky, and instead let your guard down and let the crazy in, I'm here to tell you I told you so. For the love of God, why do you make things so much harder for yourselves? I can't save you if you don't occasionally listen to me. Get it together. Here's what I've got...

1. Kan Jam…the tried and true assumingly non – contact sport that was originally referred to as Garbage Can frisbee, was created in the 1970’s by some friends in Tonawanda, NY. In the 1980’s some college kids in Buffalo NY, decided to bring the pastime back, resuming the practice of tossing frisbees at trash cans until deciding to take it one step further and developing the equipment and rules that are used to play the game today. Once considered a waste of time and only played at tail gates, in back yards or on the beach, it has gained popularity over the years so much so that there is a Kan Jam World League, Kan Jam championship, some even believe that Kan Jam will eventually be an Olympic sport. Table top Kan Jam to my knowledge does not have its own league and following, but it too has gained some popularity in recent years. Table top Kan Jam follows all of the same rules and regulations as its standard older brother, and naturally is played on a table top of some sort. One would assume that participation in a non-contact game such as Kan Jam would leave a person free of injury, but that would require the participant to be using the equipment for said game properly and as intended. Exhibits 1 & 2, reasons why the plastic Kans of a Kan Jam game should not be worn on ones head.

https://www.kanjamworldleague.com/#:~:text=Kan%20Jam%20World%20League%20features,teammate%20stands%20at%20opposite%20goals.

2. The complexities of women in their 50's and outdoor seating...you want to see a group of 50 something women start to strip in the middle of the day when seated outdoors? It'll happen people. Don't assume you're doing any of them a favor when seating a group such as this in a luxurious outdoor spot nestled in the mountains, when the placement of that table is directly beneath Satan's fire - a big ass heater that is pushing out heat equivalent to a thousand red hot suns. That beverage you just served them will quench their thirst but not their body temps as they roast from the inside out due to the heat/alcohol combo - if you don't act fast, that group will soon start to remove their layered clothing, not a care or warning given - these girls are embarking upon the second part of their lives and very little scares them particularly when desperately wanting to cool down. Unless you'd like the visual of that group day drinking, scarcely clothed outside in the dead of winter, scorched in to your brain, unplug the damn heater friend, or it's being ripped off off it's stand.

3. The great refrigerator debate. When the light inside the refrigerator doesn’t go on when you open the door, does the refrigerator still work? Does the contents of the refrigerator and how full it is determine how cold the interior temperature is? According to some, how full or empty the refrigerator is does not in fact determine what the interior temperature of that refrigerator will be. Others believe the opposite, that the amount of stuff you've stuffed in to that fridge will effect how cold that fridge gets...some could really care less and feel that a conversation such as this being had at 9 pm on a Saturday night doesn't warrant such a debate and the only simple answer this topic deserves is, either the refrigerator is running, or it’s not. No gray area people, it’s that simple.

4. Unless you’re new to visiting breweries, you’ll know that you should order a sample or a small pour of a beer that catches your eye before committing to a full pour. This practice is intended to prevent your disappointment in committing to that $10 beer that you end up not particularly caring for and will now either still drink because you’ve already paid for it, or you’ll be left to share it with your free loading friend who always seems to benefit from your palettes dissatisfaction and your poor choices. Should you find yourself in such a conundrum after making such a rookie move, follow this tried-and-true rule that was shared with us … should you choose a beer, taste it, and then determine you’ve tired of it, again, there is a simple solution…if you’re going to tire of it quickly, then you better drink it quick. Sharon Landers, 3-4-23

5. Exhibit 3 I need this bumper sticker. This sticker was on the side of a filing cabinet outside of The Little Village Toy & Book Shop in downtown Littleton NH. I made myself comfortable sitting on said filing cabinet while my teacher friends were inside perusing the books, in search of something they could bring home to share with the young minds they would resume shaping once returning to work on Monday morning. They were inside the store on their day off trying to find ways to improve the lives of their students, while I sat outside embracing my life choices pondering how this sticker applies to my daily life doing the work of the people.

6. Yellow bellied rat fink. This is what's used to refer to an individual who used to do the work of the people and has since switched teams and now does the work of the man. What a disappointment.

7. Every establishment likes to be known for something. We came upon this coffee shop, Crumb Bum, on our Girls Weekend travels last week, who's thing is 1970's velvet paintings. The Barista explained that what started with one painting soon became dozens as the owner began to pick up additional velvet paintings at estate and yard sales. Not to keep all the fun to herself, her regular patrons soon joined in on the fun, adding to the collection which soon covered all wall space available. While waiting for the best caramel latte ever, I was kept busy observing the variety of velvet paintings that ranged from Elvis to The Last Supper. Exhibit 4, just a sample of the velvet wall art.

8. When driving with a friend who has a robot - type fancy car that practically drives itself, is equipped with a sunroof that's as big as the car is long, there's always going to be that one friend who can't follow simple instructions and keep all body parts inside the vehicle. Exhibit 5

8a. Moose calls - the skill not everyone is lucky enough to possess, was not successful in calling any stray moose from the wooded forest during our mountain adventure. Exhibit 6, proof that despite our moose callers best efforts, this moose adorned mug was the best that we could come up with.

9. Picture this...five 50 something year old life long friends gathering for their yearly get away in a cabin in the woods for a snowy and icy weekend. No kids. No husbands. No responsibilities. No one to drive anywhere, no kids who need to be fed, meals that have to be cooked, laundry that needs to be folded, dogs that need be walked. Work left behind. One full day - because the day getting there and the day going home don't count - to chill ax with your besties and get a little crazy. Who cares if you're now of the age that crazy starts at 9 am and you're back at the cabin and in your pj's by 4pm...no judgement and who needs the outside world of entertainment when you and your friends are the funniest people you have ever known. That my friends is perfection.

10. Nothing says please stop calling us than when you receive an entire laundry basket from room service over flowing with towels in a variety of shapes and sizes and about 10 rolls of toilet paper. Could all of those calls been avoided if those supplies were preemptively left for the cabin being occupied by 5 women all weekend? Sure they could have, but where's the fun in that? What other guests are going to call you from 5 different cell phones, 5 different times, with 5 different voices but insist they are all Michelle, the guest who made the initial arrangements for the group? Not many friend, not many at all - this was merely a learning curve and now you'll know better for next year. That and the importance of rock salt so that same boisterous group doesn't fall down the stairs and become one with the pavement. There's way too much paperwork involved with that.

And last but not least...

The world and life are tough people, some days aren't easy, so remember this...there are millions of people in this world - some will make you feel bad about yourself and tell you that you're a shmuck so there's no need to tell yourself that. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks...surround yourself with family and people who love you for you - not who they and the world think you should be. If you've got people around you who make you feel bad and don't appreciate how fabulous you are, cut them loose. Be you - you are enough, and you are awesome.

Have a great weekend!