Your Weekly Antics, the Horse & the Pony Edition...5-16-2024

Well kids, I hope you're all surviving the week. We've been dropping the ball all over the place these days, trying to make sure you didn't screw up Mother's Day that I've failed to keep you in the know regarding our astrological events and full moons and such - for that, I apologize. If it makes you feel any better, I too, missed the rare glimpse some may have had of the Northern lights that uncharacteristically graced the skies of our area last week...per usual, I was a day late and a dollar short. In attempts to redeem myself, if you haven't already begun to sense the shift in energy, I'm here to inform you that there is a full moon upon us that will show itself on the evening of May 24th. This moon will show itself for three whole days people - awesome - just what we need is for things to get weirder around here...admit it, you know what I'm talking about. Here's what I've got...

1. As a parent, it’s hard relinquishing control, changing roles, allowing your adult child to take the lead. Doesn’t matter what your circumstances may be, who wants their kid telling them what to do? The parent, as far as they’re concerned, will always be in charge, call the shots, and good luck to you if you, as the adult child of a strong-willed parent, thinks differently. I’d like to think having been around the block a time or two thus far doing the work of the people, that I will be the worst elder of all time, and to be honest, I’m actually looking forward to it. I know all the tricks, the loopholes, the correct answers to all those stupid questions asked. I’ve picked up a thing or two from years of experience, listening to my clients and hearing about their trials and tribulations with their adult children who are only trying to help, but occasionally need to be reminded of their role as the child. Doesn't matter what's going on or what the circumstances - as long as they're breathing air into their lungs and are here to tell you so, you will always be the kid, and if you know what's good for you, you won't forget it. I too have been guilty of this with you - know - who and am happy to know that I am not the only adult child who on occasion, has to be put in my place. Also, I'd like to take the opportunity to apologize in advance to each of my three children for any behaviors and actions I may exhibit if I’m lucky enough to reach my geriatric years. The three of you have been warned...

2. Case in point…one of my all-time favorites, recently set his adult kid straight. My only regret is that this event was not caught on someone’s dash camera somewhere. Being told that roles were being reversed, the pony had become the horse if you will, was enough to set my buddy in to high gear to remind the pony who was in charge. The pony, now too big for his britches, pulls up at the horse’s appointment, to drop him off. The pony puts his shiny vehicle in park, gets out, gets the horse’s electric wheelchair out of the truck, set up and secured for the horse’s use. With some assistance that the horse reluctantly accepted, he gets out, is secured in his device, and was then told to wait just inside the doors of the building while the pony parked. Unknown to the pony, while the horse was being assisted out of the vehicle, he hit the automated locks on the vehicle, now locking the pony out of his shiny new truck. Did the horse stick around while the pony figured out how he was going to get back in his truck that was now holding up traffic? Of course he didn’t, because where would the fun have been in that? He took off at high speeds in his electric wheelchair leaving the pony in his dust to think about his role and how things were going to go… Lesson learned… doesn’t matter how old you get or what the situation is, the horse will always be the horse, and the pony will always be the pony.

3. Speaking of horses and ponies…Sue Miller didn’t need to take a ride to play either, she was the winner of the Worcester Girls Golf raffle ticket fundraiser this year. Thank you one and all who contributed and purchased a ticket, all proceeds going to this great and growing program thanks to the efforts of Coach Meghan and Coach Donovan and all its sponsors and donors like yourselves…no, this was not fixed, Sue Miller doesn’t play like that, assuring us if things are ever fixed in one's own favor and for personal gain, you will most certainly then get hit by a bus…all must be on the up and up at all times or karma will come around to bite you right in the ass. She quickly gave back using some of her winnings to feed her two favorite golfers when she was at Green Hill watching their golf tournament earlier this week. Glad she finally won something…she’s been funding her grandkids sporting events for years…

4. At approximately 8:27 am, we were alerted by our giant Clifford - like dog of a robbery happening here in our hood. Description given…large white truck, with yellow stripes down the side. Some kind of large opening in back that appeared to have been swallowing the stolen items whole; smelled of foul odors; loud noises were made when this opening swallowed said stolen items, closing that opening securing the contents inside; male, approximately 6 feet, medium build, in his 30’s, wearing jeans, work boots, long sleeve shirt and orange vest also hanging off of the back of the truck - this individual appeared to be assisting truck and its mouth-like device by jumping off the truck, collecting and securing said stolen property; other 4 legged witnesses present also made a statement… “ it’s the trash truck you moron, we go through this every week…get it together”

5. Gibson’s not the only canine with stealthy protective instincts. Exhibit 1, Goose and the rogue potato. Everyone in the pack has their role people, Goose does what she can…

6. Retirement plans take two…we have options people…I received a text last night from a loyal reader Sue Burns, informing me that my favorite program Chronicle, would be featuring a story about a store in Chatham Cape Cod that is solely dedicated to ducks – as in the yellow rubber ducks one sees on the dashboards of Jeeps all over the place. Interviewing the shop owner, the owner stated that their store has a duck for everyone, all occasions, representing all occupations. Curiosity got the better of me, I went online to their site and searched social worker duck, and this came up...it's like they already know me...I decided that may be a reason for a road trip this summer, and wouldn’t Tatnuck Square benefit from a duck store? I’ve emailed Jim Burns to see if he’d be willing to fund this venture…check them out, see what you find...Exhibit 1, you saw it here first kids...the Social Worker Duck.

Ducks in the Window | Over 1000 styles of Rubber Ducks to match most any personality, occupation, or favorite pastime!

7. Golf injuries…just like crafting injuries, they’re a real thing. If Al had listened to his kids and utilized the pushcart, perhaps he wouldn’t have suffered the thumb injury he sustained hitting the ball out of the sand. I don’t know much about golf, but I’m thinking your golf ball landing in the sand is probably not a good thing, and that pushcart may have been helpful, but wasn’t going to save him from himself. Exhibit 2, the pushcart that could've made life easier.

Work smarter, not harder.

8. Everyone's hard at work at school and at the office today kids. Exhibit 3...

9. Sue Miller's missing cataract sunglasses have been located...Exhibit 4

10. Living in the city and surrounding towns, we occasionally run across some confused wildlife that wanders into our yards and streets. Clearly the Saturday nights of my inner circle aren't what they used to be, when you get texts like this...

Mary..."look what just wandered into the yard across the street from us? A bear and her cub..."

Me..."this is the view of the wildlife in my neighborhood..."

Robyn..."my neighbor just texted that there was a moose in her yard...other than that, this is my wildlife view...not adorable..."

And last but not least...with our next full moon upon us, here's my advice to you. Embrace it...embrace the oddities if you will, if you can't beat em, join em. Should you find yourself at a stop light being oggled by the guy sitting next to you, pull out that magic wand you may or may not have tucked away on your dashboard, and with the flick of your wrist wish him well.

Have a great weekend!