Your Weekly Antics, Superhero’s and Celebrity Sightings Edition...11-3-23

Well kids, hope you all survived Halloween, have been to CVS and purchased all that left over Halloween candy now being offered at 75% off. Perhaps you've given up on hiding the evidence and as you sit surrounded by candy wrappers, you reflect on your over indulgence. Polishing off the left overs might not have been the best decision you've ever made, your sugar now through the roof, but nothing you can do about it now, what's done is done. If this is you, don't fret, today is a new day. Drink lots of water and go out for a walk, you’ll be fine. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. It has come to my attention that we have yet another new title to add to Leaf Blower Joe’s repertoire…Yard Sweeper Joe. I had no idea what a yard sweeper was, but I’m here to assure you there is such a device and it is being used down our end of the street. Still, I had to google yard sweeper to confirm this was fact and not fiction; we haven't just fallen off the turnip truck here at The Antics and pride ourselves in fact checking, striving to ensure that the providers of any information aren't making things up just to mess with us. Exhibit 1, not Yard Sweeper Joe’s actual yard sweeper, just proof from google that like Santa, they actually do exist. You can now all carry on with your day.

2. Halloween has come and gone. If you partook in the festivities, we at The Antics hope that you did so responsibly and enjoyed yourselves. It’s the time of year one can dress up and pretend to be anyone they’d like and make things up as they go. This year some of our trusted Protective Services Crew did partake dressing as Superhero’s… not your average superhero like Superman or Batman, but PS Superhero’s. I have chosen to save my shirt and plastic disposable tablecloth turned cape to be pulled out in times of great need and distress. Should this be the case let there be no mistake about it, I’ll be the one in distress and will have hit rock bottom looking to use anything and everything at my disposal in hopes of convincing whichever poor slob I happen to be working with that it would be in their best interest to do as I recommend. This may also involve me sprinkling some of my fairy dust all over the place. Whatever works people, we'll

try just about anything. Exhibit 2, PS Superhero's

3. Part of our costume making involved glitter paint and I may or may not have broken my own rule and also used glitter that came in this super convenient, no holds barred salt shaker type packaging that someone with no sense of self control has any business buying. Glitter was successfully banned from the Kap house way back in 2000 when Sam was little. At one time or another when you are a caregiver of some sort to little kids, you learn the hard way why glitter should be banned from every household across America. Once glitter enters your house there is evidence of that glitter for years to come, permeating every nook and cranny of your home. Your kids or grandchildren or neighbors kids or distant relatives can be long gone having grown in to successful adults and you’ll still have evidence of the glitter they used popping up when you least expect it. The sun shines innocently enough through your window one day, you catch that shimmer out of the corner of your eye and you’re once again reminded that it’s never really gone – it’s still around taunting you from a crack in your floor you had no idea existed, until that exact moment. Don’t do it people. Don’t fall into that trap that is all shimmer and shiny things – I’m going to be paying for this lapse in judgement for years to come. My house currently looks like I murdered an elf.

4. Wonder where I’m getting the fairy dust as spoken about in #’s 2 and 3? You guessed it, glitter, but the people who we’re doing the work of the people with don’t need to know that. As long as we make them believe that we believe this glitter is fairy dust that holds magic powers, the better chances we have of getting these people to do what we want, staying on the straight and narrow just to avoid having to deal with me. I’m going to start sprinkling glitter around everywhere I go. At a stop light, I’ll roll down my window, nonchalantly sprinkling glitter in the street. Walking through downtown wearing my sparkly PS shirt and Cape, I’ll be throwing glitter all about as if I were Tinkerbell herself. Heading into the courthouse, I may even sprinkle it in the elevators and as I walk up the stairs. Glitter, glitter, glitter everywhere I go. There’s a good chance I may get myself locked up...that's okay, never one to overlook an opportunity, I'll spread glitter there too.

5. To be a Protective Services Supervisor one must be versed in many skills which include multi tasking, thinking on your feet and being able to react at a moment's notice. Amanda and Jen, just two of our fabulous PS Supervisory team, prove they are up to the task. While keeping our department up and running, discussing cases and collectively talking any one of their workers off the ledge at any time, they managed to come up with and design our PS Superhero costumes. Exhibit 3, Amanda and Jen making our shirts all while doing the work of the people. If anyone asks, Amanda is responsible for all that fairy dust that is now embedded in all the nooks and crannies throughout the Elder Services offices.

6. Sometimes we learn things the hard way. Case in point, the youngest Kap kid. If you’re going to mess with and scare your Grandmother, you best remember the apple does not fall too far from the tree; perhaps you inherited your sense of humor and wit from her. One may want to think long and hard about the prank you prepare to carry out; being wise to remember some of the stories you have heard of the shenanigans that your Gram participated in back in her day while keeping in mind who her children are. This is not her first rodeo, she’s been around the block a time or two and has a vault of payback so vast, it could take a lifetime for her to use it all up.. Long story short, Grammy strikes when you least expect it. Good luck and Godspeed Meri, you’re gonna need it.

7. In preparation of next years Halloween, word on the street is Jim Burns gives out full size candy bars...that and Keebler cookies. Plan accordingly.

8. Look at this crew...is this Charlie Payson or Charlie Daniels? We had to remove one of our Supervisors from this photo to protect her anonymity, okay it was Robyn...it's frowned upon to have picture proof of her kanoodling with those who hold celebrity status. Next thing you know, she's going to want a selfie taken with Yard Sweeper Joe.

Exhibit 4, you never know where you may see Charlie Payson...

9. Fun fact...Exhibit 5. I'm sure you've had countless sleepless nights trying to decipher the many mysteries of the world, so we've solved one for you this week. Did you know that these silverware/napkin do-dads are wrapped up by hand? Contrary to popular belief there are no groups of glitter-less elves who sit in an undisclosed area of a restaurant wrapping your silverware up to make it more convenient for wait staff to hand out. Exhibit 7, Kolby's least favorite job as wait staff.

10. It's gotten cold out kids...it was a bit chilly as was evident by the frost found on our windshields when venturing out in the wee hours of a morning or two earlier in the week. All you faithful readers know that I am a hold out when it comes to the heat - I say grab a blanket, a sweatshirt, and a dog and quit your whining. I'm here to report that the heat has already been put on in the Kap house and not by me. For the third year in a row Al cracked long before I did. So early this year it wasn't even a contest. #lame

And last but not least...the weather promises to be beautiful this weekend - get out there and enjoy it!

Have a great weekend!