Your Weekly Antics, Short & Sweet Because I've Got S&^& to Do Edition...2-28-25

Well kids, this is going to be short and sweet this week because as this week's title indicates, I've got S&^% to do. Here's what I've got...

1. Having muddied through February, we find ourselves on its final day and we're getting ready to welcome in March. For you hearty New Englanders out there, you know better. Don't get all excited and start throwing your shovels down the cellar stairs or hucking them out into the shed, it's early yet. Just because the calendar will announce that tomorrow is March 1st does not mean under any uncertain terms that the winter is done with us...you know how it goes...it felt like spring a few days ago, you threw open your windows to let all the germs out just to button them back up again for the 20 degree weather heading our way next week.

   
   

2. We all know that March notoriously is the biggest vixen of them all....for instance, let's look back at 1956 shall we? Some poor slobs got a taste of spring, messed with the universe by putting their shovels away and BAM! Winter was back. According to google, where we get all our accurate information, March 1956 started with 5 inches of snow on the ground at Blue Hill Observatory. By the end of the month, the snow depth had peaked at 25 inches, and three 12-inch plus snowstorms had blanketed the Northeast bringing the monthly total at Blue Hill to a March record of 52.0 inches. Fifty two inches in March. That'll put a dent in your golf game. Don't put your shovels away...don't even think about it.

   
   
   
   

   

   Avy, waiting on Bill's weather update and golf score

   3. One nice day, the temps get over 45 and everyone and their brother is outside, ice pick in hand and starts hacking the crap out of their driveways and sidewalks to remove what's left of the frozen tundra that has been our winter thus far. Let's take a look at this phenomenon shall we? I'm all for trying to move things a long and jump starting spring, but I'm an even firmer believer in working smarter, not harder, therefore perhaps the smarter move would be to embrace the warming temps and let the sunshine do its job and melt the ice. That's right people, melt it. I know you're all dying to see pavement, but let's allow the sun to work warming things up and start kicking winters ass. Everyone's got a job kids, let the sun do his.

   Side note, this does not apply to Ice Chopper Joe. He can do whatever he wants, as long as his actions fall under his many titles. Let's move on...

   
   

   

   
   
   
   
   
   

   4. I'd like to know who at National Grid thought it would be an excellent idea to shut down electricity to an entire neighborhood for routine maintenance in the middle of cold and flu season. It's not so easy to go to bed at 11pm when the lights go out and get up at 6am when they come back on, when you depend on electricity to keep the machines running that help you live - asshats - I'm not talking about going without TV, or cable, or the coffee pot and microwave, I'm talking about the electricity required to run the compressor that operates Sue Millers oxygen. Idiots.

   
   
   
   

   

   5. No big deal, right? Again, cold and flu season, everyone's been sick, which means our corner of the hood was not the best option for a luxurious overnight stay. So why not take the opportunity and treat us to five-star accommodations right here in the Woo, at Worcesters finest hotel? Reservations made, and off to the brand new AC Hotel we went. Crazy night had by all. We were in our pj's and lights out by 9pm...we really know how to live. We may or may not have had a noise complaint filed against us.

6. We've been told that if and when Sue Miller finds herself without electricity again and needs to jump ship, she has options besides the posh accommodations of the AC Hotel. She's been offered a plush cot at the 9-11 Hotel on Belmont Street or in a little Air BNB we know about over near Lake Quinsig that has its own pizza oven and free cable...suck it National Grid, we have options...

7. We've been recognizing self - care and wellness at Elder Services for the month of February and with that we are gifted little treats and goodies that promote it. This week's gift were these tiny little sound machines - you know, the gadgets that produce sounds such as white noise, water, and all that crap to help you fall asleep. It's times like this that I miss our former work life when we were all in the office every day because you know, and I know, I would've gotten my hands on all of them and spent the next week going around from desk to desk making sure they all stayed on at the highest volume available...Caroline would've really appreciated that. But alas, times have changed, so my next best option is to keep calling Joe Burns on teams and when he picks up, I turn the stupid little thing on and walk away from the screen.

8. Rats - the rats are back and bigger than ever. Got a report this week for yet another rat-infested house in one of our surrounding towns and I can hardly wait to get out there to see for myself...words you will never hear leave my mouth. That's okay though, Robyn's coming with me and we're going to make a field trip out of it. Don't be jealous.

9. Another one of our goody bags offered this week was Dr. Teals calming sleep spray. Its contents are what is described as a calming blend of lavender, chamomile and melatonin...a lovely combination if you ask me. What I'd like to know is, can I spray this when I'm out and about doing the work of the people, using it like magic fairy dust to put some of these idiots to sleep so they'll stop bothering me? Or perhaps I can use it on the rats that I was talking about in #8. What I can be sure of is, it's going to take a little bit more than calming sleep spray to make me calm and I may or may not have stolen an extra one for Robyn to use while she's at the rat house with me...or, maybe I took a dozen of them to make a little cash on the side and you too may soon have the opportunity to have this spray for yourselves for the low price of $9.99 as will be seen on Facebook Marketplace.

10. Got up extra early the other day and before I even had my coffee, I heard a ding on my phone indicating I had a message. For starters, if someone's texting me that early, I automatically think something's wrong, so naturally I immediately read it, which meant I was doing so pre caffeine. Here's what I'm going to tell you about that...you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar friends, so if you'd like assistance with something that will heed positive results, I suggest you don't come at me at 6am pre coffee...it's not going to get you anywhere. Again, get it together...work smarter not harder. Exhibit 1, Gibson and his BFF Loki...he's finally met his match.

And last but not least, have a great weekend!