Your Weekly Antics, Potato Chips Edition...2/5/26

Full moon- even if you never look out your window, read a Farmer’s Almanac or kept up with all things celestial, you should have all felt the ripple in the force and known it is most definitely, without a doubt, a raging full moon this week. The ground hogs pissed off, we’ve got more people than usual walking around with only their skivvies on, strangers thinking they can come up to me while I’m at a light trying to talk to me like they’re hammered and wandering about at the St. Patrick’s Day parade, and everyone in general being a bit off the rails. Don’t believe me? Here's what Google has to say, where we get all of our legitimate official information..."The full moon in Leo on February 1, 2026 fell right in the middle of this phase of accelerating energy and frequency. Even under the influence of Neptune in Aries, this moon likely felt like a powerful turning point." Here’s what I’ve got…

Exhibit 1, the February Snow Moon. Well no S**T. It's February in New England, we're gonna have snow.

1. It’s been below zero and people are still answering their doors without pants. Why I ask…WHY?!?!?! If I’ve said it once, I’m gonna say it again…keep ya damn pants on. No one, and I mean me, needs to see any of that. Get it together…

Also, Happy Birthday to the middle kid who provided us with this picture, Exhibit 1...gotta love crafts from kindergarteners

2. The ground hog sucks. I will say this however, if someone came along and pulled me out of hibernation from my blissful comfy slumber, bet your ass I’d be sticking it to the man and making sure I adjusted the weather via witchcraft and voodoo so I could hibernate for 6 more weeks - that's what you get when you mess with someone's sleep. Why do these fools insist on messing with the little dude who controls the weather? And, if you read the 2 attached articles provided to The Antics by Cyndi Morrisson, he is being described as "unathletic" which I interpret as they're calling the little guy fat. The last time I was referred to as chubby, chunky, oh and here's a good one, "a person of size"... I too refused to do much either. I’ve been saying for years, leave the little bastard alone, but like all fabulous advice I give, no one listens to me.  

Exhibit 2, Groundhog facts...https://www.motherearthnews.com/sustainable-living/nature-and-environment/ground-hog-facts-zmaz88mjzgoe/

Exhibit 3, I kid you not...recipes how to cook a groundhog. Again, no wonder this little bastard doesn't want to come up from under ground...people want to cook him too!!!

https://www.motherearthnews.com/real-food/groundhog-day-groundhog-recipes/

3. It has also come to my attention that not everyone knows who Mary Parenteau is. Well shame on you…you’re going to hear this twice in one Antics today kids – for those of you who don’t know who Parenteau is, get it together. You have no excuse. That’s like asking me who the hell Leah Hazard is…

 4.  JB1 was holding down the fort while JB2 was having a little R& R and off playing in the sun. In JB2’s absence, I witnessed some sketchy activity happening in his office. His window blinds messed with, desk sustained an injury or two, his plant grew another 5 inches and now looks like it’s flipping everyone off, (or it’s just pissed that JB2 left him and went on vacation)... food containers left on his desk, quarter full coffee cups thrown into his trash basket using the wall as a backboard, resulting in a coffee explosion up one side of the wall and down another and his wall calendar tampered with. And I know who was responsible for all it…ghosts…or Matt. Mystery solved.   

 Exhibit 4, JB2's plant.

5.  We solved Sue Miller’s recycling bin theft crisis. It is now safely frozen to her deck, unable to be accessed until spring, which we now know isn’t coming any time soon because those morons in Pennsylvania had to go and mess with Punxsutawney Phil, not to be confused with New Phil, or OG Phil...we're talking about Groundhog Phil.

6.  Let’s talk about Potato Chips…not the snack, but the guy. Protective Services Worker Pat was given this nickname by his former coworkers who were kind enough to make sure that this name followed him to his new job. Potato Chips, like the snack, spends his days spreading cheer amongst his new coworkers and the older adult community near and wide while conducting the work of the people. He’s always available to accompany us on visits because let’s face it, he’s bigger than the rest of us, he can run faster, apparently drives better than PSW Kaitlin, and most of the undesirables we run into are afraid of him, making our jobs much easier. So, during this week of the full moon and Groundhog piss-off-ery, let’s take a step back and work towards being more like Pat. Should you be in the area of the ESWA office and are feeling charitable, feel free to stop by and drop off a bag or 20 of snacks in any variety, but particularly potato chips as that is his namesake. It takes a village kids…let’s work together to keep Pat happy.    

7.  We got a new baby in the PS Unit. I say we, because the Protective Services Unit at ESWA are a group of fun-loving sharers. Your baby is our baby - sorry Lauren, but perhaps unknown to you, this is what you have signed up for. No photo will be provided, because she’s technically not my kid, and we don’t share stuff that we have not previously been given permission to here at The Antics. What I can share is she is a real life baby, use your imagination; she’s small; she’s cute; and I have just become aware a Yankees fan, but due to being as cute as she is, I’m going to let that slide.  

Exhibit 5, this is all you're getting out of me.

8. Package wars continue here in the hood, and the list of lost and ingested items continues. I have officially given up, as it has become as much of a game to the Amazon drivers as it is to Gibson. I have embraced this new practice and now plan accordingly. I now place repetitive orders spread out throughout the week in hopes that I may actually receive one out of the three identical items I ordered. Can’t beat em, join em.

Exhibit 6, Gibson in the yard protecting us from nothing.

9. I was tasked this week with contacting some of our more infamous and loved retirees to inform them of an upcoming celebration to honor another soon to be retiree who’s finally smartened up and is jumping ship. One whose name will not be mentioned because we sort of selectively respect anonymity at The Antics, got back to me later in the evening to apologize for not being able to take my call - she was living her best life out on the golf course in a sunnier, warmer climate that is not the frozen tundra that is The Woo. Great talking to you MO – anonymity, shamonymity, tomato, tomatoe...Exhibit 7, this is not Mo. This is some of the rest of us dreaming of the day we can retire.

10.  The city streets and sidewalks continue to be in less than stellar conditions, still making driving and walking difficult. I recently had to shovel my way into a house for a visit and was quickly reminded that I am not exactly 25 years old anymore, regardless of what you all think. Best is, when I got to the door the guy actually said to me, “go back over that spot…” My response, “ ummm sure?” with a smile of course. What was really going through my head cannot be shared in The Antics because we at least try to be family friendly and I don’t need to get myself in any more trouble with God than I already am. Parenteau, I’m gonna need a few more beads…

And last but not least, if you all survive this week's full moon and the beginning of our new month, let's start next week off fresh. Ease into the week and ease out of the week...take it in stride kids...doesn't matter where you work...all that work is still going to be on your desk tomorrow if you show up to work or not.

Have a great weekend!