Your Weekly Antics, Pizza til the Cows Come Home 10-6-2022 Edition...

Well kids, happy October. Cooler days, crisper nights, leaves start turning those beautiful autumn colors, all things pumpkin, hay rides, apple picking and fun fall activities. Of course, it's hard to enjoy all those festive fall activities that New England has to offer when it's pouring out but, things are looking up, it's supposed to be nice this weekend. Grab your flannels and get yourselves outside. Here's what I've got...

1. How many people do you know come home from a long day of work and find their yard full of cows? IF you're a farmer, sure, you’ll come home to cows. If you’re a regular run of the mill kind of guy, a business owner, a pillar of your community, this would be a bit odd to come home to. I guess when you live in a town on the outskirts of the city, anything can happen - for instance, apparently it's no big deal when a herd of cows wander from their farm making their way to lusher greener lawns located miles down the road. Just a regular day for them perhaps, but I'm not so sure how the homeowner feels about it...Read on...

Exhibit 1. The cows in question who decided to take up residence for three days on this fine property before being successfully rounded up and brought home, or were they? Unknown to them, the property they chose to trespass upon belonged to a local restaurant owner. How'd they think that was going to work out for them?

2. So, the homeowner in question may be a local restauranteur. He may serve steak and beef items at his fine establishment. He may have taken the advice of one of his childhood friends Tyler, and decided to give back to the people by using what God provided him as one or several of his menu options. What did God provide him you ask? Well, if you were paying attention, you'd already know, a yard full of cows. Exhibit 2, the menu for A&D Restaurant in Millbury…they don't just serve pizza people, please note the steak section of the menu. Coincidence? I think not. Beef's gotta come from somewhere... *** Disclaimer, no cows were injured - instead, they received five star accommodations before making their way home...sorry Tyler.

Either way, check them out...A&D Pizzeria & Pub, 60 Elm Street Millbury - https://adpizzapub.com

3. McDonalds - Did you hear about this? McDonald's is now offering an Adult Happy Meal...what makes this Happy Meal specifically for adults? Is it served with booze? Scratch tickets for the prize? What and why? Why do we need Adult Happy Meals? If it’s for the prize, I’ve got news for you….stick with the kids Happy Meals, their toy that comes with the meal is better than the toy offered in the adult meal. Exhibit 2, your adult Happy Meal toy. Sorry friends, I think McDonald's is messing with you.

4. Well kids, it’s the first week in October, I hope you’ve adjusted your trash practices accordingly. You’re probably all sick of hearing about it, but I’m not forcing you to read this, so if you don’t like it, skip ahead and go to # 5… For you regular tried and true Antics readers, ( Janice Sawyer…), you all know that rules don’t apply to Sue Miller, and this is especially true when it comes to weekly trash and recycling. She decided however, to get with the times and allow me to put her recyclables curbside in her fancy new bin as opposed to putting them out in white kitchen bags. Her reasoning for doing things her way for so long you ask? The trash is sorted and recyclables are separated, why should the city care what kind of contraption she puts them in? Well, the city cares. God help the trash pick up guys and the entire department of trash and recycling if one item from my Mother’s recycling bin ends up blowing down her street, or worse, those poor bastards leave any item of trash in the bottom of her bin, there will be hell to pay. My guess? I give it a week and her trash will go right back to being put out the way she wants. The trash guys will give up and just start picking up whatever it is she puts out on the curb because let's face it, it's just easier.

5. The final days of being able to run up to your local farm stand are quickly approaching. In between doing the work of the people this week, I decided to stop by. When I pulled in, I see that Meri's nemesis is not wandering the yard, field or parking area, but instead she is happily in her chicken house living her best chicken life. Or, she's resting up so she'll be on her game for Meri's next trip to their domain, the farm stand. Exhibit 4, how the youngest Kap kid really feels about that chicken.

6. Birds, birds and more birds. As we've talked about in past weeks, the turkey population is taking over our fine city and the surrounding towns. At every turn there is not one, but a flock of turkeys prancing a long like they rule the roost that is our hood, holding up traffic on side streets, main roads, you name it. Clearly they don't keep up with the times and all the talk about the increase in grocery prices. If they did have a half a noodle in those pea brains of theirs, they'd listen and figure out that it's getting to be just about that time of year when their kind are most sought after. In addition to the apples being scarce, the apple cider being triple in price, and all groceries everywhere going up in cost, their chubby feathered selves may be a hot commodity this time of year. I've heard of people hitting deer with their cars and then taking said deer home for meat. Would I do it? Absolutely not. But a turkey? I'd consider it, just because they piss me off. Those bastards and all their bird friends have had it out for me since last spring. Exhibit 5 - on my way to get myself a late morning coffee, only to be held up by the likes of this guy and his band of feathered friends...

7. Late last week, you know, back when it wasn't rainy and cold every day... I grabbed my coffee and decided to head out to the front porch where I could take in the cool crisp autumn air before starting my day and doing the work of the people. I was sipping my coffee, enjoying the quiet, the dogs hadn't even gotten out of bed yet, when I see something fly by out of the corner of my eye followed by a loud thud on my front window. Some poor misguided bird, probably sent by that asshat turkey in #6, flew right in to my closed porch window and hit the deck, literally. Just when I start to text Al to tell him that I'm going to need him to dig yet another hole in our yard to give the poor bugger a proper burial, the bird hops up, shakes his head and flies away. Good luck and Godspeed little buddy, tell your friends I'm on to them - all of them - that's like the 5th bird incident I've had since June - what gives universe??? Stop sending me birds...

8. What do you do when you break a body part that you need to play football? No, you don't continue to play by figuring out how to do so using only one leg, get with it, the kid might be something, but he doesn't have a cape or super powers, so that wouldn't work out. Instead, you smile and you deal with it the best you can. Bryce figured out how to do just that - not only does he dress to impress, but he's got cutting edge wheels to whip around on. Lemons? You are now lemonade.

9. It's great being on call when you forget you're on call until you get called to deal with something on call. Lucky for me it was only Saturday night before I realized, hmmmmm, I'm actually not just being nice and doing one of my unsuspecting co workers a favor who I assumed may have missed their call from Central Intake. Nope, I wasn't being extra nice because I'm fabulous and didn't want one of my peeps to be thrown to the wolves for missing a call, I was the dumbass on call in the first place. I blame Sean. He's like the human alarm clock of the on call schedule and he failed to remind me that it was me. Calm down, no harm no foul - I had it all under control.

10. And, your full moon update! October 9th, that would be Sunday, is the start of the Hunter's Moon. As luck would have it, the powers that be have allowed me to be on call this week too - no thanks to Sean, I remembered this on my own - with the full moon, this should be good times had by all.

And last but not least...I hope you're all lucky enough to have Monday off for a nice long weekend. If you're out in the Millbury area doing all your fun fall things, you're gonna have to eat. Stop by A&D Pizza - if you're in need of a caffeine and pastry fix, hit Mykonos Cafe & Bakery right across the street - tell them John sent you - and bonus, Sundays are bulkie day!

Have a great weekend!