Your Weekly Antics, No Surprise Here Edition...8-24-23

Well kids, we hope you're having a good week. For those of you kids out there who are soaking up your final days of summer before school starts on Monday, live it up. I'm here to tell you that you will get through it, just as you have every year since the day you started school way back when the teachers were peeling you off of your parents to go to kindergarten - you will be fine. We've added this years Worcester Public Schools Calendar for you to review, to show you that you will have days off just about every month to help you get through it...now that you've absorbed this inspirational tid bit and it's sunk in, helping convince you the school year isn't as long as you think, I will now unload on you that the first week of school coincides with our next full moon. This of course is no ordinary full moon but is the second of two Super moons we've seen this month, making it a Blue Super Moon. To sum this all up, doesn't matter what I say, you're screwed - Good luck and Godspeed. Here's what I've got...

1. It came to my attention last week by none other than the infamous Sue Miller, that I had a variety of spelling and grammatical errors in last weeks Antics. She was kind enough to point this out to me knowing it would make me nuts, and then sent me hunting for the errors myself. This is how she gets back at me for giving away all her secrets...Exhibit 1, the text.

2. We have a guest writer to this weeks Antics kids. While resting comfortably on her outside couch and in between perusing her yard for unwanted woodland creatures, she offered her expert editorial insight in to this weeks issue of The Antics. Presumably her goal being to proof read these pages in hopes of avoiding the grammatical and spelling errors that plagued last weeks issue. She has done all of this hard work while looking innocently at us with these big brown eyes - the eyes used to mask the mind powers that launch her attempts at convincing us that the instructions left by her people - instructions specifying that she is allowed one - and only one - treat per day is a grammatical error in itself and should be ignored. Unknown to our little helper, we at The Antics are experienced dog people, and although she is adorable, we are immune to her charms. Sorry Em, maybe next time we'll misplace that paper. Exhibit 2, Emmy hard at work.

3. You think you’re having a bad day? My good friend and occasional or probably never reader of The Antics Sarah, ran across a racoon in distress recently. She’s a kind and loving soul, however, should not be allowed to travel the streets of any city or town without a good and sturdy set of garden or work gloves, an extra-long t shirt or sweatshirt, a hair tie and a hat in the trunk of her car. Why you ask? Because if there is an animal in distress, Sarah is going to save it. A dog? No question. Cat? Yes again. Deer, yes she will shoo a random deer off the side of the road safely back in to the woods. Turtle, salmonella doesn’t scare her, of course she's saving it. Injured squirrel, bear cub, random donkey that falls off the back of a truck, yes, yes and yes, she’s stopping to help. Those close to her have been trying unsuccessfully for years to break her of the bad habit she has of not thinking about her own safety before throwing her car in park, giving no mind to the time of day or night, if the road is lit or if she is standing alone in the middle of the street under the cover of darkness, before she gets out and she’s helping whatever living creature is in need. This is why it was no surprise to me when I was told that Sarah's most recent escapade involved her roadside in the middle of the night trying to rescue a racoon who had been hit by a car after he suffered an altercation with a porcupine and was covered in the quills to prove it. Sarah needs a dashcam to start recording these things...the kid could make some money.

4. Birds. You faithful readers out there know that I don’t personally have anything against birds, I just may or may not think that they’re out to get me. They're shifty and can't be trusted. Clearly this is a genetic and hereditary trait because at least once a summer the middle kid whether she’s at the beach, out on the softball field in years past, taking a walk, she always manages to get pooped on by those with wings. Why would this summer be any different? Again, no surprise to anyone when this descendent of the dinosaurs shown in Exhibit 2 would partake in his morning constitutional while flying leisurely over the middle kid who was sitting back and reading her book. We encourage young people to reduce their screen time, pick up a book and read - she does, and she still gets pooped on.

5. Birds again - rumor has is that a large turkey may or may not have taken a golf ball to the head at the 1st hole at the Worcester Country Club earlier this week. Another fun fact...if you take large rocks from various golf courses and forget them in your bag, the bag will get heavy. And people say golf is boring...

6. Reaghan, pronounced Ree-gan, not Ray-gen. Easy mistake to make especially for little kids, specifically toddlers who are still trying to figure out how to pronounce things. Generally speaking, middle kids have to learn to adapt, go with the flow, and just be happy they're not forgotten somewhere - this middle kid is no exception. In her 21 years on earth, I have yet to hear her correct anyone on the pronunciation of her name. Her friends 3 year old son has begun calling her Henry. He tried and tried calling her Reaghan and finally gave up, giving her a name he could remember and pronounce. Problem solving at its best.

7. Have you all been out to get your Pumpkin coffees yet? I am aware that it’s still August, but every once in awhile it’s just easier to embrace the crazy and go with it and so pumpkin coffee it is. And, I have even found myself purchasing said pumpkin beverage from the Dunkin Donut’s in Paxton. Yes, I’ll take the ride up the hill to go to that Dunkin’s rather than the 50 others I pass to get there because, the coffee is that good. In case you care, the youngest Kap kid and myself highly recommend the Nutty Pumpkin – iced regular – fabulous. But I digress…in addition to pumpkin everything being out, have you seen this? Exhibit 3… after you take that trip to the Paxton Dunkins, head on back down the hill to the CVS in Tatnuck – Cadbury Harvest Mini Eggs…they’re not just for Easter anymore.

8. Exhibit 4, Lawn Chair Guy. We respect ones privacy here at The Antics and have covered the license plate and hidden this persons face for anonymity purposes. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wish I had introduced myself and asked this guy for more of his story. Guess he just didn’t feel like grocery shopping and not only sent his wife or partner in to complete that task, but decided to take in what is left of the fresh summer air while he waited. I was getting in my own car while watching him get out his chair, find the perfect spot, set it up, and viola, nap time was underway. This right here is why you will never see me without a lawn chair of some type in the back of any car I drive. Why sit idly inside your car waiting for whoever it is you dropped off to shop, when you can pull out a lawn chair and chill – ax in the breeze of a lovely summer afternoon. This guy has it all figured out...this is going to be me in a few years people, and exactly how I feel my participation should be in any shopping adventure – roadside – in a comfy lawn chair in the parking lot. I’ll do my shopping on my phone from outside while I wait for the rest of you. The Big Y parking lot in Holden is where it's at...

9. As you all know, I occasionally travel out of the 02 and not just for work. Venturing out towards Boston the youngest Kap kid had a hankering for her Nutty Pumpkin Iced Coffee and to the drive thru we went. We came upon a happy and enthusiastic employee working at the order window. Arriving at the ordering speaker, it’s customary to begin an order with Hi, How are you? Or at least I do. Much to my surprise the response I got was, I’m great, but I’m great every day. How are you? After our order was complete, we were handed our delightful afternoon caffeine sustenance through the drive thru window and as etiquette dictates, I thanked him and wished him a great rest of his day. His response…don’t worry about me, I have a great day every day. Now, if I was having a bad day, he definitely would have improved it. If I was guaranteed that guy would take my coffee order every day forever, I’d 1, I’d go back to drinking Dunkin’s coffee on the regular and 2., I’d drive all the way to Natick to get it. Exhibit 5, Paxton Dunkins where you'll get the best Nutty Pumpkin around and also this fun sign directing you to the Paxton pool.

10. We have dogs, you all know this. You also know that I like my dogs more than most people. They listen, they love me unconditionally, and they’re always happy to see me. Dogs occasionally get in to trouble, but for the most part when they’ve broken something, chewed your furniture, gotten into something they weren’t supposed to, they admit to their wrongdoing with one look on their face. All you have to do is ask them, what did you do? Before you know it, they’ve given you that look, and most times looked directly at the destroyed object in question. In my house, our dogs have absolutely no qualms about throwing their fury siblings or their human family members for that matter right under the bus. When I came home on Sunday and found my large succulent that had been living a simple and happy life in an understated, yet eloquent clay pot out on the front porch, had been knocked over for the second time in recent days and the pot completely destroyed, I knew it was none of them. As soon as I walked through the door, they all herded me out front to the porch, where Al, clearly not the Alpha in the group, sat, next to my half dead and newly repotted plant. Don’t mess with plant people or their dogs. They all know when there is even just one tiny little leaf out of place and those dogs will rat you out.

And last but not least...in the event that any of you run across Mike Margolis this weekend, it's his birthday. We don't generally mention Birthdays here at the Antics, but this one is worth breaking our own rules for. It's not every day you can say you've been lucky enough to have the same best friend for 40 years. 40 years and he still admits to knowing me and actually still likes me, go figure. That, and for the first time ever in those 40 years, I actually put his Birthday card in the mail on time...that's definitely worth mentioning.

Have a great weekend!