Your Weekly Antics Keep Your Skivvies On Edition...4-13-23

Happy Thursday kids...and it's gonna be hot. How hot you ask? Too damn hot for April, that's for sure. Let this weeks warmer temperatures remind us all why we should strive to be better people and decent human beings - do the right thing and don't be a shmuck - it's hotter than this in hell people - get it together. Here's what I've got...

1. The first days of beautiful weather and unseasonably high temperatures bring all kinds of people out of the woodwork. Case in point, Greenhill Park. Amongst the vast landscape of rolling green hills and budding gardens one may come across a scarcely dressed individual or two who are embracing the warm weather while lying along the waters edge. Scarcely dressed and leaving little to the imagination, you’re probably thinking, hmmm, typical teenager. Let me stop you right there…this was no teenager but instead a man of advanced years proudly prancing around in his skivvy’s for all the world to see. Welcome to The Woo.

2. As if the Worcester Golf Girls didn’t get lucky enough the first time around seeing such a view, they were subjected to such visual assaults twice in one week. Nothing like teeing off on the first hole to see someone else relieving themselves in the woods. But a teaching moment it was - just another reason to stay in school and work towards getting yourselves good jobs so you too can be a working contributing member of society instead of ending up hanging out in the woods like that scrub. Way to stay classy people...

Exhibit 1...Coach Meghan McDonald, we found Meri's hat - Worcester Girls Golf teams biggest fan.

3. It’s not just naked people and scarcely clothed sunbathers one may find up at Greenhill. This is what we found yesterday hopping along amongst the shrubs near the club house. Before you all try to tell me to get a hold of myself, saying that’s just an average bunny like those we have frolicking in backyards and in streets all over the city, this was not a regular run of the mill wild rabbit. This my friends, is someone’s pet. He was either dumped up there or he escaped his humble bunny abode from the abutting neighborhood. No, he was not caught, but not for lack of trying. You know as soon as golf was over, the youngest Kap kid and her counterpart Rose were sent in to the bushes in attempts to save this little guy who clearly feels he's living his best life and not in need of saving. We may have left the golf course bunny - less today, but tomorrow's a new day, we'll keep you posted. Exhibit 2, Greenhill Golf Course's honorary mascot, the big ass bunny.

4. To save space, many store their winter and summer attire away, being pulled out for use when the change of seasons occur. When it becomes unseasonably warm without notice, we are left to be creative in our wardrobe choices because who has time to climb in to the attic to retrieve their summer wardrobe when the temps are due to be back in the 60's in a few days. Heading in to the office this week I would have to imagine that your clothing of choice would not include your favorite warm winter sweater but perhaps a short sleeve shirt. It would be wise to keep in mind that when going on home visits those we see are in the comfort of their own homes and have their own ideas of how to manage their wardrobe to adapt to the warm weather. It's not unusual, but instead has become the norm to have our elders answer their door in nothing but their skivvies. Clearly this happens far too often because I am no longer phased and can't be bothered asking people to put their pants on.

5. In addition to warm weather that's bringing out naked guys, poorly chosen wardrobes and farm animals alike, we start seeing bees. Someone may as well benefit from all the pollen floating around that have allergy sufferers everywhere trying to determine if they can avoid leaving their allergen free homes until sometime in May. We’ve spotted a few here and there buzzing around, getting acclimated and gearing up to do their jobs bee bopping through the foliage pollinating everything. It’s their season to shine people and keep things moving, so bee kind, stay out of their way, and if you are so inclined, perhaps make your yard a little more bee friendly…here are some tips to make your backyards more welcoming to our pollinator friends…and no, this does not include a bug zapping light, don’t be a jerk… https://sites.tufts.edu/pollinators/2022/04/the-5-best-ways-to-make-your-yard-pollinator-friendly/

6. We don’t want to hear it from you nature loving squirrel enthusiasts, those bastards have upped their game. In addition to scurrying across fences, decks and lawns, they've taken to the trees. They’ve upped their arsenal from nuts and berries to pinecones, and in case you're wondering, pinecones hurt. Exhibit 3, Proof city squirrels are out to get us.

7. How to properly use and operate a rolling walker. We're pretty sure this will not be found in any instructional manual or video...

8. Gramma Edie – on my recent visit I was greeted with, “I think I’m in a little bit of trouble…” My thought was how much trouble can you get into when you can’t even get out of bed? Second thought…it’s finally happened, they’re gonna kick her out….Upon closer examination I see evidence of peas and carrots on the floor. That my friends, was the trouble. In Edies advanced years she has decided that no such food of that vegetable variety should be served as a side for any meal according to her. She hates them. No use for them. No reason to see such tiny miserable mixed vegetables on her plate. What happens when such food is forced upon her? The tray gets thrown and that’s the end of that. For crying out loud she’s almost 101, I think meeting the criteria of our outdated food pyramid is the least of her problems. Do yourselves a favor and serve her chocolate covered donuts every day if that’s what she’ll eat and will make her happy. That’s only going to benefit all of you and keep your staff happy. But what the hell do I know? #nomoreveggies

9. Some gather around to color Christmas cookies, some also gather around to color Easter eggs. New tradition established this year at Sue Miller’s house. The Grandkids have a new activity to add to their list of Forced Family Fun, and that is decorating Easter eggs. We don’t care how old these kids get, they’re doing it, and will do so with smiles. Gone are the days of plopping the hard boiled eggs in to too many different cups of color resulting in some new unidentifiable shade not found on your average art palette. Older and more mature, they take the time to properly color the eggs. Carefully placing the eggs into each cup, making sure the color is just right and to their liking before removing the egg and carefully placing it back in the egg carton mindful not to crack its newly brightly covered shell. After all that hard work and care, as if those eggs aren’t perfect enough, they’ve taken to using the clear crayon provided in the decorating kit to write inspirational notes and quotes on those eggs about their siblings and loved ones…now if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. I’d provide you with pictures of their masterpieces, but we try to keep it clean here at The Antics…same reason why I’m not including any photo’s of naked guy from Greenhill.

10. Quote of the week ... " he needs to be bagged and tagged..." K.C.

And last but not least...we know it's hot. For the good and the welfare of your fellow citizens and community at large, keep your clothes on.

Have a great weekend!