Your Weekly Antics Justice for Coach Matt Edition 7-14-2022

Well kids, it's once again a full moon. According to the internet, where we get all of our useless information, this full moon, referred to as the Buck Moon as well as the Thunder Moon or the Hay Moon, will be the biggest and brightest super moon of the year. For you regular readers out there, you're probably thinking, what kind of nonsense and false statements are they passing a long now...she says this every full moon, but truth be told, we fact check here at The Antics and can confidently say we speak the truth. We take our full moon warning responsibilities seriously here and make sure to pass any and all info a long to you that may effect the goings on of your week. Despite the full Buck Moon, so far things have been going a long fairly well - I haven’t been sent out to any of the three deckers of the Woo thus far this week and everyone’s kept their clothes on, but, the week's not over yet and the moon has just come out - it's still early. If you don't want to take our word for it, check out our full moon info here... here...https://www.almanac.com/content/full-moon-july

Here's what I've got...

1. Multi-tasking and life lessons - What do you do when you’ve been provided an opportunity to prepare the youngest Kap kid to play any position she’s told to play on the softball field, at any time, all while unloading Sue Millers grocery bags? You physically throw anything and everything her way when you’re putting those groceries away - you do this while threatening her within an inch of her life not to drop anything, including large bags of breakable crushable items. To add to this tough love scenario, Grammy may or may not have been heard saying, you better get it together Meri and start catching that stuff if you plan on catching anything besides a cold on the field tomorrow. That’s supportive parenting right there Coach Matt…it takes a village.

2. Just when you start to think that our Coach Matt material has dried up, he serves me up this little gem. Get a load of this, exhibit 1, his coffee order for Dunkins. Despite every ounce of my being questioning his coffee choices - asking myself if his order even contains actual coffee and is worthy of my ordering efforts - I go to Dunkins. The least we can do to support him while he's dealing with a dugout full of teenage girls first thing in the morning is make sure the poor bastard is caffeinated. Or if you read the order correctly, is artificially sugared up. That, and Coach Matt is absolutely no fun when he doesn’t have his Dunkins. Being the exceptional team parent that I am, I fought back the humiliation, taking one for the good and the welfare of the team, and placed the order. I was in a different town, no one was going to recognize me there, so I was safe. The coffee order was placed, the order delivered to me with a smile through the drive thru window by the Dunkins employee. While handing me the order she says, thank you, I hope she enjoys it. My response, I’m sure she will… moral of this story…we mustn’t discriminate or place judgement on the grown men who drink the same kind of coffee as our teenage daughters. #girlycoffeesforall

3. Now, while out and about this week doing the work of the people, I come across Mykonos Bakery in Millbury which happens to be owned by a childhood classmate, Chris Andrianopoulos from May Street School circa 1983-ish. I stop in, and as luck would have it, he walks in from his other establishment, A&D Pizza and Pub from across the street. Not only did I have the chance to catch up for a few minutes, but was served a delicious, iced latte that did not resemble Coach Matt’s sort -of -but – not – quite- sure – if – it -was - really - coffee, in any way. I am here to report that the coffee and pastries, (which were quickly gobbled up by those visiting Sue Miller later that day…), were not only fabulous, but the service was fast and efficient, and I’m fairly confident had I requested 50 splenda’s and 15 shots of hazelnut with 17 splashes of almond milk and an 1/8 of a cup of coffee like Matt orders it, the nice girl behind the counter would have accommodated my ridiculous request and then served me said order with a smile. When in Millbury, check out Mykonos Bakery for coffee, pastries, breakfast, and then when you’re done, head across the street to A&D Pizza and Pub for some tasty pizza and a few beers. Maybe we should take Matt, beer is way easier to order than his coffee...

4. Exhibit 2 – perfect example of why despite loving to do so, I will try not to harass Coach Matt too much in regard to his coffee choices because of the harassment he already willingly subjects himself to. Photographic evidence, (you’re welcome…) of Coach Matt and the youngest Kap kid bickering while she’s taking the field and warming up at 1st base. Not for nothing, but this disagreement started after she didn’t follow her third base coach’s advice (Matt), took a half ass lead and then not only took off for 3rd base when she had no business doing so, but didn’t steal well and slid right in to the tag. Her response to this egregious error? I can unleash my inner Sarah Defusco if I want...ok, where do I start? For starters, no - no you can not. No one on this team can catch that kid, so get that right out of your mind. Second, I love when this bickering happens because it provides me, the spectator, with at least two more innings of entertainment as these two clowns argue back and forth about the play, the call, the tag, what’s for lunch, why she thinks she can run at the speed of light like Sarah when this is clearly not the truth, who's got gum, you name it. It never gets old. Please note, fun fact - it was pointed out by Dan Puglisi that we've discovered the purpose behind the headband...not only does it keep his hair out of his face, but serves as a pencil holder too.

#justiceforcoachmatt

Exhibit 3, Meri's not so successful stolen base...

Exhibit 4, how a stolen base and slide should be successfully executed...

5. Before someone starts saying that we're being mean and a bunch of bullies, take a look at this. We do have a conscience here at The Antics, but sometimes the material that is laid out before us is just too good to pass up and our scruples are cast aside for the entertainment of the people. Exhibit 5 -text evidence that we take careful consideration prior to making fun of those we love. The participant of this text will be kept confidential for anonymity purposes...

6. When you're hanging out with Sue Miller, you may inherit her green thumb and wake up one day thinking you're a landscaper. Next thing you know, you could be filling up the love of your life's brand new car with your friends and neighbors dug up and perhaps stolen plants. Who knew how much Deb would take to gardening and all things plant-like? Now every time she leaves the house, Janice has to worry about what the hell kind of foliage she'll be bringing home. We would caution you to keep a look out and watch your plants and gardens but this new - to - landscaping - type individual starts her escapades at o-dark-hundred. While the rest of us are asleep, she's already redesigned her yard and probably built a gazebo.

7. While some of us were sitting at a softball field last weekend and stealing plants from our neighbors and jump starting our landscaping careers, others were working and giving us updates via owl. Who doesn't like an owl update now and then? But everyone says I'm the nut?

8. Anyone interested in learning what not to do here in the Kap house? Leave me without any iced coffee on a Monday morning mid July when I like my iced coffee the best. Not only did the individual who was guilty of this infraction leave me without coffee, but added insult to injury by leaving the empty ice coffee container in the refrigerator. He paid dearly for this error for the remainder of the week. No one should feel bad for him - he knew what he signed up for - it's not like he just met me.

9. Do not despair... I carried on that Monday morning despite what one may consider a minor inconvenience that left me temporarily decaffeinated. Me decaffeinated is not fun for me, for you, or the general public. For all those who had to deal with me, blame Al. It's not like he just met me, he should know better. So, I brewed my coffee. I drank my first cup hot out on the front porch still optimistic about my day, listening to the birds chirping, making sure Deb didn't come to the house pre dawn to steal my plants, and enjoyed the beginning of what was sure to be a fabulous day. I was checking my weather app, not Matt's Rockets team app, that indicated that the day was sure to be hot and humid, but again, I wasn't going to sweat it, I would be prepared with an ample amount of caffeinated libations to make it through the afternoons heat. That coffee was brewing, soon to be put in its designated iced coffee container and placed ever so delicately in the far corner of the refrigerator where it would be chilled to perfection in just a few hours - sure to be just the pick me up one needs on a Monday afternoon and order would be restored in the universe, so I went about my morning. Soon enough, the time comes for my much needed caffeine upload, because after all, I was running a bit low due to that mornings mishap. I go to the freezer to gather my ice to prepare my super cool travel mug that is specifically designated for my iced coffee, to find an ice cube-less freezer. That son of a bitch not only took the last of the coffee, but never refilled the ice cube trays. What the &*^&!!! Dead man walking.

10. I'd like to say I'm not spiteful, but I'd be a bold face liar. I don't ask for a lot. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I rarely drink, because let's face it, I'm crazy enough without alcohol, but you mess with my coffee, and it's on. I take a ride out to one of my regular coffee spots where I'm seen at least 4 times a week knowing that they understand me, they won't do me wrong, they're professionals, they make coffee every single day for a living, it's their livelihood. Wrong again. There are new people working, they don't know me from Adam. I get nervous, break out in a bit of a sweat but think again, it'll be okay, it's coffee, it's a coffee joint, I'm sure they've been trained, it's all gonna be okay...wrong again, they screwed up my coffee order, but I kept it to myself because there's no need to be a jerk at least these kids are working, and tomorrows a new day. Naturally I did what any intelligent quick thinking individual would've done and I gave up entirely and hit the liquor store - it was just way easier at that point...again, you can't screw up beer, or booze when you're drinking it straight out of the bottle. After, I went home and filled those ice cube trays and hid them way way way in the back of the freezer. You mess with my caffeine, I start hiding ice cube trays.

11. And last but not least....lesson learned this week kids - by Monday afternoon Coach Matt's ridiculous coffee order was looking damn good. I would've drank it - wearing the headband - with the pencil tucked in it. And, when venturing out of the 02 I discovered my new favorite coffee spot in Mykonos Bakery - I'll take that as a win.

Have a great weekend!