Your Weekly Antics, It isn't a Sautè Until Something's On Fire Edition...1-25-24

Well kids, happy Thursday, it's almost the end of the week. We at The Antics hope you heeded the good advice given last week if there was any to be found, and you used said advice and well wishes to spread cheer and do good. If not, there's still time to get your act together. Here's what I've got...

1. Let's start this weeks Antics with a moon update. Tonight we will see the Full Wolf Moon, the first full moon of the new year. According to The Old Farmer's Almanac, "It’s thought that January’s full Moon came to be known as the Wolf Moon because wolves were more likely to be heard howling at this time. It was traditionally believed that wolves howled due to hunger during winter, but we know today that isn’t accurate. Howling and other wolf vocalizations are heard in the wintertime to locate pack members, reinforce social bonds, define territory, and coordinate hunting..." The Old Farmer's Almanac, January 2024

What does this mean for all of you? Probably nothing, but if you're regular readers of The Antics you'll know I'm a firm believer in the moon messing with us, especially if you're trying to do the work of the people. Although this description is talking about wolves living in the wild, I'm also seeing the comparison to people living in the Woo. Don't tell me I'm wrong, take a ride down Park Ave. or Main Street...you know what I'm talking about. *** Side note, as an added bonus I will be spending this first full moon of the year on call, awesome.

2. We got an oil delivery last week, and when leaving our yard, the delivery guy failed to shut the front gate. We have dogs. Dogs need gates and fenced in yards. A slightly ajar gate is an unspoken invitation to any dog to take an unsolicited, unsupervised trip out into the world, and nine times out of ten, this happens at the most inopportune time possible. I don’t know many dogs who could resist the temptation of an open gate, so why would Gibson be any different?

3. Meri was in the yard and heard the familiar jingle of the big dogs collar. Looking around to locate the jingle, she notices he’s not inside the fence, but on the outside of the fence. She calls him. He stops, takes one look at her, and keeps it moving, having bigger and better things to do than to listen to his kid. She follows, again using all the commands and tricks in her arsenal to get his attention, but nose to the ground, he had other plans. It took him a bit, but he eventually realized that leaving the yard by himself may not have been the best decision he ever made, finding himself wandering around trying to find his way home. By the time we located him, he was on a strangers lawn, barking at the homeowners who had come to their door to find out why this giant lug was barking at their house. And it wasn’t a hey let me in bark…it was a hey, you’re an intruder bark – wrong house buddy, they pay the mortgage, they belong there, you do not.

4. If you’re going to live your life like someone left the gate open as the saying goes, you’re going to get an Apple Air Tag attached to your collar. Anyone who remembers the 14 years we spent chasing Fenway all over hell and creation I’m here to tell you technology has advanced people and has leveled the playing field. If you’re going to take off out of the yard, whether intentional or not, look us straight in the eye and beat feet off our property, I'm taking action, this isn't my first rodeo. If you're going to act like you've never seen us before when we call out to you, pretending like you’re not going to be scared to death on the outside of the fence in the big bad world all alone, I’m upping the game and turning to GPS. Bring it dog, it’s on.

5. Moving on, it doesn’t matter what time of the year it is, the woodland creatures have been hard at work. Exhibit 2, the mouse home that has been providing shelter to our tiny freeloading friends, under the hood of the middle kids Subaru. Unfortunately, no mice were harmed during the removal of their habitat. Exhibit 1, mouse house

6. The responsibilities of being an American citizen includes jury duty. That dreaded post card you get in the mail letting you know that your numbers up and it’s your turn to perform your civic duty. The upside of this notice is it’s always better to serve on a jury than have to sit in front of a jury while trying to keep yourself out of the clink. Of course this notice came to the middle kid, why wouldn’t it? Maybe someone got wind of her Netflix history and all the real life crime documentaries she’s been watching. Again, if I go missing….

7. Life doesn’t have to be serious all the time people, sometimes we do things just because they make us happy. If they make you happy, why not spread that happiness to others? Take this for instance, my childhood friend, George Jones. Legend has it, he’s quite the cook. He could keep this skill all to himself, but being the unselfish guy that he is, always looking to give back to the people, he has chosen to spread his cooking cheer while teaching the rest of us a few tricks while he's at it. Recently watching one of his videos at which time he was preparing a scallop and shrimp dish, there may have been a little bit of fire involved, or rather, things catching on fire. That’s okay, he had it under control, not a scallop or shrimp harmed and no interruption in his video. He merely continued cooking and announced, "it isn’t a sauté until something’s on fire…" When his cooking video’s go viral, I’m thinking this should be his tag line and when that happens I want that phrase printed on a tshirt…then I’m buying ten of them. Check him out on Facebook…George Jones.

8. When was the last time any of you went inside the bank? I have to admit, it’s been a while for me. The convenience of drive thru banking and ATM’s have made it so that I haven’t had to step foot inside the walls of my bank in years…that changed earlier in the week when I was helping out the youngest Kap kid with her banking. I’m here to report that they still offer lollipops. Those regular bank lollipops you can’t find in the store that only banks seem to offer. And they were left out in a giant basket for the taking…had Gramma Edie been with me she would've dumped that entire basket in her bag.

9. I was all excited to continue my quest to point out what I believe to be biochemically engineered fruit. Al came home from Wegmans last week with this, Exhibit 2? I don't know, I can't remember what exhibit we're on - I thought to myself, seriously? Tiny little oranges? Granted, they were adorable, but what is happening? Upon further investigation I read the bag which indicates that these adorable orange rays of sunshine were in fact Mandarin oranges. Who knew that's how they look in real life when not covered in syrup and coming out of a can? George Jones, that's who...I bet he knew.

10. The work of the people. This often involves running in to some seedy characters and going to some shady places, and I'm not talking about a tropical island sitting under a palm tree sipping the drink of your choice. Although, every time I see that Snoop Dogg commercial for Corona, I think to myself, I could hang out with Snoop Dog. Chilling by the waters edge, solving all the worlds problems, but I digress. Instead, todays work of the people will be conducted not on a tropical island and instead in one of the less desirable hotels of our area that have been converted to shelter living in one of the surrounding towns of the Woo. I - am - Over - It. Write your local politicians...something's gotta give, we need to find places for these people to live that don't involve pitching a tent in the woods or in the parking lot behind Walgreens.

And last but not least...continue to enjoy the ups and downs of our New England weather. Today was a balmy 49 degrees, real feel was 52...it was like spring out there today, hope you enjoyed it because Monday's calling for snow. ☃❄

Have a great weekend!