Your Weekly Antics, Invisibility and Carboard Boxes Edition 2-9-2023

Well kids, here's hoping you all survived the fast freeze that was last weekend. For once this winter season, meteorologists around the region got it right. They said it was going to be cold and temperatures dangerously frigid and they were, only to make us feel like we had all hallucinated the cold apocalypse a mere 12 hours later when the temps began to rise. Last weekend has certainly made us all feel as though the 30's and 40's of this week could be confused with life on a tropical island - that may be stretching it, but you know what I mean. I'll admit, we talk a lot about the weather here in The Antics, as only true New Englanders would. Without the ever changing weather and moon cycles, what would we have to talk about? Here's what I've got...

1. Valentine’s Day… is Valentine’s Day a recognized holiday? We at The Antics dove deep going to the internet to get to the bottom of this…according to google, Valentine's Day is not a public holiday. Government offices, stores, schools and other organizations are open as usual. Public transit systems run on their regular schedule. Restaurants may be busier than usual as many people go out for an evening with their spouse or partner. This is not a recognized holiday as we are accustomed to, but if you’ve got someone special in your life, it would be in your best interest to acknowledge the day of all things red hearted, and that special someone on February 14th, or there will be hell to pay. This payback may not rear its ugly head right out of the gate but may be seen and experienced over the course of days or weeks or longer, depending on how creative your significant other may be. So all of my male friends out there who I say this to with the upmost love and respect, I love you all, but you’re not the brightest bulbs, there’s only so much I can do to save you. I hope you read this weeks Antics, heed my advice and get your acts together – because I will be here to tell you I told you so when you’re all eating cold mashed potato sandwiches that have been wrapped in saran wrap and left on the counter for you, or when you find all your underwear missing. And news flash… your underwear hasn’t been stolen, none of us want to see that.

2. Referring back to #1, all you guys out there, go ahead, tell me I’m male bashing or sexist or whatever…this goes for all of my female friends out there too. Won’t hurt to pick up a sweet treat for that special person in your life or to do something nice in honor of Valentine’s Day – oh, but wait…women everywhere do that every day anyway…we don’t need to be reminded. Nice try, now move on.

3. Are you interested in hearing about some history surrounding Valentine's day and its connection with The Woo? Probably not, but you're going to hear about it anyway. According to the Worcester Historical Museum, for nearly 100 years Worcester was at the center of the Valentine industry. To summarize, according to local folklore, Esther Howland received a Valentine from England in 1947. She got a kick out of it and decided, you know what? I'm going to make my own and then employ some of my friends to help me assemble them and sell them out of my Father's stationary store. Low and behold, this idea took off and the Valentine industry was born. During this time, the Taft family was doing the same thing out in Grafton, therefore they believe they're the inventor of the Valentine. Either way, the two families joined forces and eventually established their own company known as The New England Valentine Company. Over the years the company changed names and was passed down through the generations of the families before closing its doors in 1942 no thanks to WWII and the paper shortage. At that time the company was called The George C. Whitney Company and was the largest greeting card company in the world. That's your history lesson for the day. If you're interested in reading more, check out this link...

https://www.worcesterhistory.org/worcesters-history/worcesters-own/valentines/

4. So there you have it...those of you living in The Woo, from The Woo, having a significant other who has any part of The Woo, you have big shoes to fill and better step up your game. You can't be a complete tool and blow off Valentine's Day when you live, work, or are in any way shape or form associated with Worcester. You're just going to make the rest of us look bad - get your act together.

5. Or, you can be like me - not give a rats ass about Valentine's Day and pretend like you never read this...we're all about self determination and choices here at The Antics - sort of - sometimes - when it works for us. Exhibit 1, what Harley thinks of Valentine's Day.

6. If you happen to work in my office, you may have read this recent email with specific instructions on how one should dispose of the excessive amount of cardboard boxes that have taken over our office. Pretty basic and straightforward instructions were listed, and I've added my interpretation of those requests in parenthesis...please see below...

- all cardboard boxes that need to be disposed of must be broken down first, to be laid down flat. ( or torn up in to tiny miniscule pieces so they'll all eventually just blow away...)

- please DO NOT leave empty cardboard boxes around the suites to be broken down by others on your behalf. ( throw them anywhere, someone somewhere will eventually pick them up...)

- Once the cardboard is broken down in this manner, please leave it next to a recycle trash can (blue) in any of the two suites. ( leave that torn up box near anything that is the color blue...)

- PLEASE DO NOT DISPOSE OF ANY CARDBOARD USING ANY OF THE RECYCLE CRATES THAT ARE ON THE LOADING DOCK AND/OR ACROSS FROM THE FREIGHT ELEVATOR ON THE FIRST FLOOR. ( feel free to leave your used boxes in that area none of us are quite sure what it's used for, located behind where the cafe used to be - no one will see you dump and run...)

Okay, so let’s back up the bus and review. I may or may not have violated all the above in one trip with the use of one box. Who knew I could be so efficient and accomplished. All of the above simple requests look as if they could apply to anyone attempting to dispose of several boxes, a stack even, but not me…I strive for efficiency in a productive timely manner. That, and I’m lazy, only willing to make one trip, to one spot, carrying as little as possible hence the destruction of said box in to tiny pieces for easy transport. If I’m going to break the rules it’s going to be in one fell swoop, I’m not messing around.

7. FYI there are security cameras all over the building, just saying. Don’t worry though, if I’m going down it’s going to be for something a little more exciting than violating the buildings cardboard box removal rules.

8. Person – Centered Care. Are you all familiar with this? The definition of person-centered care is Integrated health care services delivered in a setting and manner that is responsive to the individual and their goals, values and preferences, in a system that empowers patients and providers to make effective care plans together. My interpretation of person-centered care...you were given a chance to get yourself together and you blew it...now it's my way or the highway.

9. Waiting patiently to get my mid afternoon pick me up via a fabulous Valentine’s themed latte called Coconut Kiss, I was unceremoniously and rudely cut in line. Not really sure what was happening when it was happening, I thought, surely I must be mistaken – this person must’ve already put their order in and that order must be up and ready to be retrieved. But alas no, this was not the case. This individual apparently felt that her time was far more important than the rest of us, skipping the line with no regard for those who had been patiently waiting to place their orders. Getting a hold of myself and thinking, okay, let’s cut this chick some slack…maybe she’s having a bad day, just didn’t notice, or has somewhere she has to be, I let it pass. She gets her ridiculously ordered specialty coffee, you know the kind I’m talking about – asking for a latte with half almond milk, half oat, hot, but not too hot, is the sweetener sugar free, with extra foam, but wait, that’s too much foam, and so on. She gets her stupid coffee after I was telepathically answering her sweetener question saying in my head, well dumbass you asked for sweetener so I don’t care what it’s made of, there’s got to be some form of sugar in it so no, it’s not technically 100% sugar free…she decides to cut the line again and order a pastry. Not just a hey, by the way can you throw a brownie in with that type of situation, but instead a whole thing… what do you call tha?, and what’s that one? and what’s that one that has filling and covered with white stuff that’s the third to the right in the way back – no, not that far, the other one...is it made with wheat flour or gluten free? Do you have gluten free options? How many calories per serving? Okay, for starters you’re in a bakery/café so I’m thinking even the low calorie sugar free gluten free options may still be limited and contain some kind of sugary carb filled goodness that we all desire...for what she was looking for I feel as though she should've been referred to the farm up the street to get herself some grass with a side of hay - and, if you want a full nutrition and caloric breakdown of all the items being sold, how about you drive your sorry ass on over to Dunkins where you can look all that information up on line and get the hell out of my way.

10. The nit wit in front of me finally finished her order that started off as coffee and an elaborate pastry that ended with getting a fake milk with a splash of coffee and a gluten free dinner roll, goes to leave and just about walks through me. Again, I smile, expect her to excuse herself, but no, she didn't even look up from her phone and kept it moving. Naturally as a result of this interaction or lack there of, I am now assuming okay, it's finally happened. I've inherited my super powers that are right this second presenting as the gift of invisibility, because there is no other logical explanation. I order my coffee - exchange pleasantries with the barista also mentioning to her that she has the patience of a saint because I would’ve dropped kicked that woman as soon as she said half almond milk, half oat milk, I exit this fine establishment, hop in the jeep and I’m on my way - or so I thought. In front of me, holding me up trying to exit the parking lot is this same nit wit looking down at her phone, texting, with no regard for anyone else behind her who may have places to be. I sat. I waited. Finally I can’t take it anymore and beeped my horn to be rewarded with her response. She practically jumps out of her drivers seat, startled, as if she has just discovered she is not the only person in existence out in the world. I'm no physicist, but one would have to imagine that the rate of her reaction and the velocity of the movement of her arms had to have resulted in the spillage of her over priced fake milk coffee combo all over her and the interior of her expensive car. That's right...who's invisible now? Ya moron.

And last but not least...don't put up with it people. You're not invisible, hold your ground. Remember however that with this lack of invisibility keep in mind that you and your lack of common sense will not go unnoticed if you ignore V-Day all together. Do yourself a favor and run on over to CVS and grab what could be your soon to be ex some kind of chocolatey treat. If you really want to go over the top, embrace your inner Esther Howland and hand make her a card.

Have a great weekend!