Your Weekly Antics Give it Back to the Sea Edition...6-29-23

Well kids, it’s almost the 4th of July. If you haven’t already, I’m sure you’re all planning on travelling over the border to obtain your illegal fireworks and are getting ready to blow things up…before you go lighting yourself or the neighborhood ablaze, please exercise caution – they’re illegal here in the Woo for a reason. It’s all fun and games until you accidentally shoot a bottle rocket through your neighbors kitchen window and set their Gramma’s wig on fire…get it together.

1. Speaking of Gramma’s…the youngest Kap kid had big plans this week that would keep her from her plants. A little concerned that they wouldn’t make the week without her, she packed them all up and brought them to Sue Miller’s house for safe keeping…now Grammy will have all this plant company in her front window while she’s yelling at the trash guys….Kolby and Kiley, I hope you remembered to take Grammy’s trash out…if you didn't, run over there now. It's trash day!!!!

2. During the youngest Kap kids adventure, she stumbled upon a Greenhouse that was full of all sorts of house plants – tons of them – after only an hour when she could have easily spent an entire day in there – she was extremely reserved and practiced self-control leaving with only two small plants. We were out of the parking lot for just 2 seconds before she had devised a plan to return the next day to gather the plants she talked herself out of and left behind- she soon had Casey on board to join her for the return trip... Exhibit 2, Spike, only 1 of the newest plants to add to those Sue Miller will be in charge of next time Meri goes away.

3. The plants aren’t the only living things in the Kap pack that are given special care and attention in our absence…let’s not forget about Hank. Exhibit 3, the note left for Anthony, our fish sitter...

4. During our travels with the youngest Kap kid, we found ourselves on the beach and looking for shells. Not sure what the deal is this year, but so far, shells have been scarce. One would think combing the beach for shells during or after a rain storm, the ocean would provide us with all kinds of shells to choose from, but no. Apparently the ocean is feeling a bit stingy these days and keeping her shells to herself. In light of that, Meri went through some that we gathered deciding which would go home to Hank and which would be returned to the sea. Only take what you need people. If you’re not going to put good use to something, give it back.

5. Remember the days when your kids were little and you had to chase them down the beach as they ran from you, bathing suits full of sand? When you made yourself crazy standing at the waters edge telling them they were swimming out too far and would be sucked out to sea? When you were the pack mule, hauling who the hell knows what all the way down to the beach, making sure everyone had towels, and sunscreen, a beach umbrella or tent, a change of clothes, sun shirts, snacks, drinks, more sunscreen, hats, chairs, pails, buckets, shovels, all to have most of those items go unused only to be dragged back off the beach to do it all over again the next day? When no matter what you did, they seemed to ingest more sand than they did food? When you were yelling at them to stop fighting over beach toys and to get a long? When you packed a book in your beach bag knowing full well it would be five more years before that books binding ever knew what it felt like to be opened? When you thought to yourself, will the day ever come when I can go to the beach and actually sit for more than two minutes to soak in some sun and salt air without interruption? Well kids, I’m here to tell you that day has come and now I’m bored…Exhibit 4…now they all wait for me to stop talking so they can read.

6. Not really sure what to say about Exhibit 5 other than yes – yes ones tongue will stick and stay stuck to freezing items…but why would anyone listen to me when they can try it out for themselves? Instead of trying to help her unfreeze the item from her tongue, I did what all good Mothers do and took a picture instead. You're welcome, Exhibit 5...what happens when you don't listen to your Mother.

7. Julie Angelis…another reason to be cremated…check this out. No need for me to be in the way of some highway being built 200 years from now…

https://www.sunjournal.com/2003/04/07/turnpike-comes-within-stones-throw-cemetery/

8. How do you know that you’ve left The Woo and are in a small town out of state for the weekend? When you go into the local town grocery store and ask for help with an item.

“Hi, can you help me with this? Tell me what the price is?”

“ Sure, can you hold this while I get my gun?”

( the cashiers price scanning gun...) That phrase takes on a whole new meaning when you're from the city…

9. Doesn’t matter where we go, we make animal friends. This year we were reunited with our good buddy Rocco from past years visits. Rocco spends his days walking up and down his street going door to door checking in and looking for his preferred snacks, carrots and Goldfish crackers. When he’s not checking out his street, he can be found walking on the beach visiting from blanket to blanket checking your beach bags for snacks. Exhibit 6, Rocco making his rounds...

10. For those of you who read last weeks Antics, let me tell you this. Despite having purchased 38 brand new towels, some purposefully and others in error - despite packing 20 - twenty - brand new, freshly washed, luxuriously soft and fluffy bath towels for our visit away from home - there was still not one... I repeat, not one clean towel available to me when I hopped out of the shower on Sunday. How do you suppose I reacted to that?

And last but not least...for you parents out there in the thick of it...chasing kids keeping them from being swallowed up by the ocean and eating pounds of sand mixed in with their PB & J's...I see you - I hear you - and I feel for you. Throw me that book we both know you're not going to have time to read...I'm done with mine already and it's only the middle of the week. Enjoy the chaos - that book will be around forever, your kiddo's will not.

Have a great weekend!