Your Weekly Antics, Fancy Pigeons Among Us Edition...4-11-25

1. Admit it. Which one of you tempted fate and put your shovels away,  raked up your yards and put your deck furniture out already? I hope you’re happy, because you messed with the universe resulting in snow. The sooner you admit it, the sooner we can put this transgression behind us and move on. Get it together.

2.  Here’s a scenario for you…if I happened to drop my work issued laptop which then caused me to drop my coffee, which one do you think I’d be more upset about? That’s right, the loss of my coffee. That’s no way to start the day. Laptops can be replaced, my favorite mug cannot.

3.  For any of you old school dedicated employees still doing the work of the people and remain in the Protective Services department, remember the beeper bag? That subject came up in the Kap house recently. Before cell phones when we were on call, we had a beeper bag which held a binder of resources and an actual beeper. I’m not sure whatever happened to the bag once we transitioned to the one Protective Services cell phone and individual laptops. Hopefully the Kap kids don’t find the beeper bag lodged in the back of my closet when they’re cleaning out my house someday when they throw Al and I into the nursing home. Joe Burns you’re in charge, don’t let this happen….

4. We have a full moon upon us people, tomorrow, April 12th is the Pink Moon. Don’t get all excited, it will not be pink, it is named the pink moon after the pink phlox flowers that start to come up this time of year. Another little tid-bit, it’s a micro moon meaning it will be at its farthest point from Earth and appear slightly smaller and dimmer than usual. So don’t feel bad when you can’t see it because per usual, it’s going to rain all weekend -  chance of seeing it are slim.

5.  Homing pigeons. Here’s something I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard of in The Woo. We have a neighbor here in the 02 who raises homing pigeons. How do I know this you ask, because there’s a definite visual difference between the hood pigeon and the homing pigeon, at least for the pigeons I’ve seen here waddling about the Worcester Streets. No disrespect to the pigeons of the hood, but they don’t look quite as clean and majestic as the neighborhood homing pigeon. Not to mention homing pigeons can find their way home safely. Worcester pigeons fall off curbs and get run over in traffic.

6.  I was alerted to the existence of homing pigeons in the 02 when another neighbor stopped by my fence to discuss such happenings here on our corner. Apparently, the homing pigeons who fly above her house strategically and purposefully do their bird business on her newly detailed car that she keeps parked in the driveway. Naturally, I sympathized with her and noted how skilled she must be in identifying the particularities of bird droppings that she’s able to decipher between professional, high-class pigeons and regular mundane pigeons or other birds of the boring neighborhood variety. I was assured that although when the homing pigeons are flying above her driveway, she couldn’t see any identifying factors such as those tiny little metal bands or leg rings used to identify them and confirm that they are in fact professional homing pigeons, she just knew. She knew who the culprits were of this wildlife vandalism, and she didn’t need further clarification of their identity. Apparently, she is now a bird expert. Okay then. I’m pretty sure it’s the plain old regular birds who poop on my car, but whatever you say lady. She also went on about another neighbor who has been encouraging squirrels to hang out over here by feeding them peanuts. Now that got my attention. There is no need to encourage those shifty little bastards to spend any more time around here than necessary. Stop feeding the squirrels. They can’t be trusted.

7. Investigating further, who would’ve thought that Worcester used to be the hub of homing pigeon activity, being the home of over a dozen homing pigeon clubs from the 1930’s through the 1980’s. Considered a sport, homing pigeons when let loose to fly, are timed and whoever returns home first wins. Interest in homing pigeons dropped off as older generations passed on over the rainbow bridge, leaving the city with your regular, run of the mill, freeloading, feral pigeon that serve little to no purpose as far as I can tell, but I am no expert.

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8.  If anyone starts raising and racing rats, I’m out of here. Town rats, city rats, racing rats, they’re all the same. Rats. The End.

9. You think you’re under appreciated at work? How would you like to be this guy…there was a moment of silence held at the beginning of a professional soccer game for one of its 78 year old retired players, Petko Ganchev, whom they believed was dead. That’s okay, after scaring the life out this guys wife, family and friends, he was invited as a special guest at a game last week and was given a commemorative jersey. I wonder if ESW is wrongly informed I’ve taken the dirt nap if I could get a free tshirt. Let’s do it.  

 Petko Ganchev: Bulgarian team apologizes after holding a minute’s silence for former player who isn’t dead | CNN

10. I’m thinking if ESW thinks I’ve gone over to the great beyond, maybe I can figure out how to still get paid and then meet up with my retired friends to have lunch all the time while wearing my new tshirt…

I'm going to work dressed like Sharon Landers next week...Exhibit 1, Sharon and her lobster suit.

And last but not least, careful where you park kids, there are homing pigeons among us, targeting our parked vehicles.

Have a great weekend!