Your Weekly Antics, Drug Smuggling Pigeons and Friday the 13th Edition...1-12-2023

Well kids, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to all of you. It came to my attention soon after publishing last weeks Antics that I failed you all...not a good way to start off a new year. I lead you right into the second week of January without giving you fair warning that it was in fact, a full moon. If you didn't already figure it out for yourselves, the full moon of January, also known as the Wolf Moon, lit up the night sky on January 6th. What's better than a full moon? A full moon week that ends on Friday the 13th. That's right people, buckle up - tomorrow is the 1st of two Friday the 13th's of 2023. Giddy up - here's what I've got...

1. As I failed you all regarding the full moon, I plan to make up for that oversight and fully cover some fun facts about Friday the 13th - Why is it feared? The fear of Friday the 13th is so real that scientists have given this day its own scientific name - friggatriskaidekaphobia. We may scoff at the ridiculousness of this fear, claiming it to be myth and superstition, yet some have gone to great lengths to avoid not just Friday the 13th, but even just the number 13, seeing that too as bad luck. Some businesses specifically airlines, suffer severe financial losses due to people refusing to fly on that date. Those who suffer from the fear of the number 13 are said to suffer from Triskaidekaphobia. The fear of the number 13, is even more widespread. So much so that many high-rise buildings, hotels, and hospitals skip the 13th floor, and many airports do not have gates numbered 13. In many parts of the world, having 13 people at the dinner table is considered bad luck. At my house if we don't have 13 people seated at the dinner table it's because we ran out of chairs, but I digress...a few other fun facts...In order for a month to have a Friday the 13th, that month has to begin on a Sunday; there will be two Friday the 13th's this year, tomorrow and in October; bad news for those who suffer from Friggatriskaidekaphobia, all years will have at least one Friday the 13th. The good news is that there cannot be more than three Friday the 13ths in any given calendar year. The longest one can go without seeing a Friday the 13th is 14 months. We could go on and on and on...check this out for more fun facts... https://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/13-things-friday-13.html

2. If you keep a neat house, everything has its place. When your family is over, you have 13 or more guests and have run out of seating, those extras are put to work doing dishes. Sometimes when the extras are cleaning up from dinner, some dishes, pots and pans may go missing, or may be put away in places that particular homeowner may not normally store them. When this happens, chaos ensues. Case in point. Exhibit 1, the text inquiring if I have any idea where Sue Miller’s colander went. As I was experiencing flashbacks of the great pecan pie incident of 2022, I thought to myself, how in the fresh hell do you lose a colander? When was the last time my Mother served spaghetti? Who were the extras doing the dishes? This text came in as I was on my way out to the Marshalls at Blackstone and I thought screw it, I’ll save us the trouble and just grab her a new one, knowing full well it wouldn’t be the same colander that she already had and the likeliness of it meeting her colander standards was slim, but I pushed on anyway.

3. At Marshalls as I was perusing the aisles in the home goods section I found the smallest, most awkward, non user friendly looking colander I've ever laid eyes on. Sure it was a colander, but would it live up to Sue Millers colander standards? Most likely not. Despite its size and awkward design the label indicated the product was indeed a colander, including an asthetically pleasing photo showing a pristinely dressed woman using said colander to strain a pasta product. Did it look like it could tolerate a full box of prepared Prince pasta? Absolutely not - instead it looked like it may support an 1/8th of a box of gluten free or new age dehydrated vegetable spaghetti - maybe. You all know the kind I’m talking about – those high end colanders that look like they should be for decorative purposes as opposed to providing any kind of spaghetti or pasta related service. I stood there briefly contemplating if I should chance it and get it anyway before quickly coming to my senses hearing Sue Miller in my head saying, what in the hell am I supposed to do with that? And off I went.

4. I leave Marshalls and head over to my Mothers before going home. I pull up and there’s the celebrity of not only that day, but every day, Deb. I tell Deb about the now great colander mystery of 2023 and she too insists it couldn’t have gone far. It must’ve been put back in the wrong drawer or cabinet. Sue Miller insists she’s looked everywhere and it’s nowhere to be found. You wanna take a look for yourself? She says, Have at it– you’re not gonna find it. Am I sure I don’t know where it is? Al must’ve put it away somewhere, or maybe it was Sam, or maybe Meri? Am I sure I didn’t accidentally take it home? Sure, that’s what I did…I boiled myself up a pound of pasta, strained it in the colander at the sink, then took the wet dripping spaghetti with me, colander and all, to the car where I drove around snacking on wet spaghetti as I was out doing the work of the people. You caught me.

5. I’ll tell you how it all went down. Deb, Grammy’s favorite and bestie - the one who’s photo is now front and center kicking the Grandkids off to the side, leaving their group photo barely hanging on to the edge of the mantle - Deb who comes to the rescue day in and day out - of course she found the colander and get this…it hadn’t been stolen or thrown out or moved to the basement or hidden away just to torture Sue Miller. It wasn't tucked away in the freezer like that pecan pie. It was found safe and sound in a cabinet it normally does not take residence in - it had ventured on to new and greener pastures in Grammy’s kitchen. Mystery solved. Exhibits 2 & 3.

6. Just to be a smart ass a new and improved colander was purchased in the event my Mothers original colander goes missing – again - or, it may be used just to mess with her from time to time. Maybe we’ll switch it out with her old one now and then just to make her think the kitchens haunted. Just because I work in Geriatric Protective Services doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun every once in awhile…I gotta keep my numbers up.

7. Roosters, rats, pigeons…they’re everywhere people, but in the town of Abbotsford, Canada about 50 miles from Vancouver, these critters are being put to work. In Abbotsford, a small pigeon wasn’t just pounding the pavement or flying around aimlessly. He wasn’t pecking away at the streets, freeloading, begging for handouts or harassing those trying to enjoy their lunch in the local park. Instead in fact, he was gainfully employed as a tiny little drug smuggler, his job being to smuggle crystal meth, via tiny backpack, inside The Pacific Institution Prison. Kudo’s to whoever came up with that idea because it took creativity and resourcefulness. Anyone can smuggle drugs, but to train a pigeon to do it? That takes skill. As for the pigeon? He’s not being charged, was released back in to his local hood and is back to freeloading with all his pigeon friends until he can secure gainful employment. If you'd like to read more, check out this link...

https://nypost.com/2023/01/11/pigeon-caught-smuggling-backpack-of-meth-detained-at-prison/

8. Birds – fun fact. When delivering home delivered meals to someone who shares their home with chickens and roosters living with them as pets, it would be advisable and most courteous to refrain from bringing them meals containing chicken. This is not necessarily to prevent offending the individual receiving the meals, but instead to avoid offending and hurting the feelings of the house chickens, or more specifically, the mean crazy ass rooster who lives there. #chickenshavefeelingstoo

Thanks Jim Burns for the tip. :)

9. Zip lining…Would I like to go zip lining? Ummm I don’t know, would I also like a root canal? No, no I would not. When told I should consider this activity because you only live once, I decided that’s exactly why this will be a hard pass for me – because I am wise and am fully aware that we only live once, therefore I choose not to participate in an activity that could result in the potential of my untimely demise as I plummet to my death from a friggin high tech clothesline. I will gladly stand below holding all of your bags and document this event should the rest of you fools choose to partake in such an activity. This decision is not based solely on my irrational fear of heights, let’s face it – nose diving from a zip line would not only be messy, but a lot of paperwork for the people running this attraction. I’m always thinking people…with two feet securely on the ground.

10. Heads up - learned something new this week. One particular community agency that too does the work of the people, have uniforms of the day. I received a report in which the reporter described himself as arriving on scene wearing the uniform of the day. Naturally this peaked my interest. What are we talking exactly? Are their uniforms labeled according to the days of the week? Special shirts for Taco Tuesdays? Khaki Wednesdays? Tshirt Thursday? Dress down Fridays? Dress wear? Lounge wear? Undercover wear? Street wear? Since returning to work post Pandemic if I'm wearing a clean pair of jeans and a shirt I've managed to get through the day without spilling coffee on, I'm good. No straight answers were given people, so this remains a mystery.

10a. *** Update - a reliable resource, not Walter and Angel, informed me that uniform of the day indicates what that public servant is allowed to wear at work. Some need to be in their issued uniforms, others in plain clothes, hence, uniform of the day.

And last but not least...just a heads up in the event I fail to warn you when to expect the next upcoming full moon, it's due to hit the night sky on Sunday, February 5th...regarding tomorrow's Friday the 13th, I've done the best I can to keep you informed...good luck and Godspeed.

Have a great weekend!