Your Weekly Antics, Don't Look Up Edition...4/4/24

Well kids, hope you’re having a good week and are ready to roll on into the weekend. April Fool's Day behind us, or perhaps it’s not – I’d like to think that Jack Frost has hit the bricks for the season but looks like he's here for one last hurrah. He’s lingering around like that last guest at your party you didn't want to invite in the first place who's been overserved and has made himself comfortable...I know we all love to blame the weather man here in New England but looks like this one was all over the map. They weren't the only ones. It only took the Worcester Public Schools three calls before 7 am to figure out if they were going to cancel school or not. A rain event my ass. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. Dog and weather wars continue here on our corner with our mud loving dog Gibson. If you love snow and rain and ice and mud, he’s the dog for you. If you enjoy wiping a 90 lb muddy fur ball down every time he goes outside, again, he’s your dog. If you are looking to be drooled on, have dirt and slobber wiped all over you, come on over. Need a giant hole dug to China, rocks you didn't know you had uncovered, shrubs and perennials relocated? He will assist you with all of your landscaping needs free of charge...

2. Despite the three obedience classes Gibson attended and did quite well at, there is no training the stubborn out of this dog. He knows his commands, he knows who the weak link is here in the Kap pack, and he knows I’m not chasing him around the yard to come in. You want to sit outside in the cold and the rain? You want to catch snowflakes and be pelted by freezing rain like you're being attacked by tiny evil ninja's? Have at it. Al on the other hand, keeps his shoes at the front door, so that when Gibson blatantly ignores him time and time again, he’s prepared to go outside to see what he’s up to. On most occasions Gibson isn’t far, he’s sitting in the front bushes watching this all go down. He waits for Al to get outside, slip all the way down the front stairs before running past him to the front door. Who’s the fool now? Not the dog.

3. The Eclipse is coming people, the big event is Monday, April 8th. I must admit I haven’t been paying much attention and should probably read up on it so I can get myself together. We’ve been hearing and reading all sorts of things such as some areas of the country are closing down schools. We may have an interruption in cell phone service. Keep your pets inside...not sure how the hell I’m supposed to keep Gibson inside, the way things are looking, he may still be outside on Monday from today…Some areas of the country where the eclipse can be best viewed had been telling those who lived in those areas to stock up on supplies. According to the internet this is not just any eclipse like the one we had in 2017. space.com states The 2024 total solar eclipse is set to be a major event. Totality can last twice as long as in 2017, depending on the observer's location. It's also set to be the longest totality on land for over a decade, so expect eclipse-chasers from around the world to visit the path of totality. Okay, I get that it’s a big deal, but there have been many questions raised in recent days about what we should or should not be doing about it. Do we set up lawn chairs and raise our faces to the sky? Probably not. Do we cancel outdoor sporting events? What do we do about the little kiddo's, as in kindergarteners and the like, who are leaving school at the exact time this event is set to start? Good luck to teachers trying to get them out of school and on the bus if any precautions should be taken, on a good day this age group is like herding cats. When this subject was brought up at Greenhill Golf Course this week, a well-loved coach may have been heard relaying her game plan… The powers that be thus far have determined Mondays match is a go, and she has been advised to relay to her team a statement that appears quite simple...don’t look up. If you'd like to read more about the Eclipse, click here...

https://www.space.com/41552-total-solar-eclipse-2024-guide.html

4. More words of wisdom... Don’t look up? If we don’t look up we’ll lose our golf ball. If we do look up, we’re losing an eye ball…Meri Kapacziewski, 4/2/24

5. Here’s my dancing fruit loving driveway buddy who’s replaced Lawnmowing Joe… Exhibit 1, Nayiah, her Gigi and in the background, her tv dancing fruit. It does the heart good to pull into your driveway to be met by a little person who’s always happy to see me.

6. Too many cooks in the kitchen and you’re gonna burn your sauce…LMK 4/3/24. This sums up the work week people. If everyone stayed in their lane and stopped undoing all the plans I put in place, perhaps I'd actually get something done.

7. Cancelling Spectrum. Anyone try to cancel their Spectrum cable services recently? It's like trying to break into the Pentagon. After giving up your social security number, Mother's maiden name, birth certificate of your first born, deed to your house, and the passwords for all of your banking information, your cable service might be successfully disconnected, or maybe it won't be. After embarrassing attempts and relentless begging were had by the Spectrum rep asking the head of the Kap pack to continue with their service, on the phone Al sat, trying relentlessly to shut our service down. Having worked with the public all of his adult life, he held his shit together while politely declining any and all offers made by said Rep who was begging him to remain with Spectrum. They may have even offered to keep us on their service free of charge. Al was polite. He was efficient. He was clear and well spoken. None of those things mattered kids, this guy at Spectrum was so determined to keep us with their company one would think he owned the whole damn company himself. Flip a switch buddy, unplug us, click something, just shut us down. We are done with you. Talk about screwing up a soup sandwich. This is exactly why we no longer want your service Spectrum. All of your service sucks.

8. Just some of the comments made by the Kap girls while this 45 minute exchange was happening between their Father and Spectrum...

• It's not you, it's me.

• Now you did it, Dad's gonna call the FCC

• This is legitimate harassment.

• Is this guy gonna come to our house and find us?

• Damn, I've had break ups go quicker than this...

• This guy is gaslighting Dad....

• Wait, is this guy even speaking english?

• Should Dad be that red?

• DISCONNECT DISCONNECT DISCONNECT

• Lemme guess, there's no way you and Dad would've gotten away with talking to someone like that when you worked at Spag's....

• Did that guy really just say he couldn't cancel our cable service just because Dad told him to?

9. With the above said, Fios is available in the Woo people, cancel Spectrum. And when you do, tell them Al sent you...

10. At last, the long awaited back ordered Birkenstock clogs have finally arrived. Originally ordered in July 2023 and first pair arriving in January badly damaged due to what we can only suspect, having been run over and then run over again by a giant truck, the fully intact, correct size Birkenstocks arrived at our doorstep yesterday much to the youngest Kap kids glee...she didn't have to go digging through her Mother's old college boxes in Grammy's attic after all.

And last but not least, if you do decide to get a little crazy and stare directly into the sun, get a hold of yourself and don't be stupid. Do so with some of those handy dandy eclipse glasses you can order just about anywhere, and apparently you can even get for free. Check this out... How to get free solar eclipse glasses ahead of April 8 (usatoday.com)

Have a great weekend!