Your Weekly Antics Don't Look at Me, I'll Talk to Anybody Edition...10-20-22

Well kids, I hope you're all well and have been behaving yourselves. Have you been getting in all your outdoor activities before Mother Nature throws the dice and turns on us? I hope so. Although she's not quite ready to bring on the frigid temps that her winter season promises us, she has begun to test our heartiness with some pretty chilly mornings this week. When the temps haven't dipped low enough that would cause us to see our breath one would consider taking in the morning by sitting outside. But no, instead that unpredictable vixen has sent torrential rain that naturally, interrupted my morning coffee on the front porch. I don't mind bundling up for the cold, but I'm not dressing up like the Morton Fisherman to go outside and drink my coffee - for starters, that's plain stupid, second, my coffee would become tainted with the rain and I see no reason to put my caffeine at such risk. Come on, you know me better than that. Here's what I've got...

1. Our newly issued work cell phones are awesome…I haven’t received any calls all week…have I reported this to anyone and create work for myself? Absolutely not. I will share this information with no one. Let's see how many of my superiors actually read The Antics...

2. I personally feel that I deserve a break from being inundated with calls from those disgruntled individuals living in our community…why you ask? Because NBA basketball is back – you read that right and I hope you also picked up on my tone in this statement. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times - I’m sorry to all you basketball fans out there, but the season is just too damn long for my liking, it’s as if it never ends. Did the last season really ever end or has it just blended in to this one? Did it? Did it ever really end??? Nicole F., would you like to weigh in on this?!?!?!

3. We at Elder Services were told to vacate the premises at our Suite at 67 Millbrook Street in order for the much-anticipated renovations to begin. All have dismantled their offices and cubes, packed up all their belongings and beat feet out of there. Now it’s a free for all as to where you’ll sit when you go in the office and where to find people if you’re looking for them. Don’t get me wrong, of course there’s been organization regarding where we are all able to set up and sit while renovations are happening, ESW is like a fine oiled machine. However, those of us in the Protective Services Department like to keep people guessing…good luck and Godspeed finding me. I like to fly under the radar, this sitting somewhere new all the time and not being sure where you’ll end up is like a dream come true for me. The less people can find me, the better. If I was hiding from everyone before we emptied our cubes do you honestly think I’m going to tell you where I'm camping out now? I don't even correct people when they call me by the wrong name...seriously, it's like you don't even know me.

4. If you’ve used a parking garage ever in your life, I’m sure you’ve been in line a time or two behind a person having trouble with the ticket dispenser that is required to gain access in or out of that garage. If not, you may have experienced this inconvenience for yourself. When the ticket dispenser isn’t working, naturally this holds up the line. This doesn’t just inconvenience that first person in line attempting to gain access in or out of that garage, but also holds up everyone else behind him. I look at a situation such as this as a classic we’re in this together scenario – but are we really? Do people really care and feel that way? Sadly, I think not. That phrase has been thrown around time and time again in the past almost three years, yet I don’t see many acting like they are, in fact, in this together, instead just acting more and more selfish and entitled. Being in this together would infer, that in a situation such as the one I am about to explain, would have prompted others to be helpful and courteous to someone in need. I happen to know first hand that the ticket dispenser to get in, but more specifically to get out of, any of the Worcester Medical Center facilities to be the worst, most unreliable, job sucking biggest waste of space and resources out there and have witnessed these God forsaken machines holding us all hostage in their garage every time I’m there. Clearly no one cares enough to fix the problem. Let me tell you something, when you’re in a line of cars 10 deep waiting to park and you can’t move because you’re trapped in line because clearly the person at the front of the line is having a problem with the ticket thing, don’t be a total ass and sit there and honk your horn. Do you honestly think that beeping your horn and yelling at this person is going to fix the problem and help the situation? All you are accomplishing is further stressing the already stressed individual out, making an ass of yourself, and pissing everyone else off who are just as trapped in that line as you are. Here’s an idea…be the solution instead of the problem. You’re not the only one who has places to be jackass, so instead of bitching about it, get out and offer a helping hand.

5. Now, when and if you should get out to help the confused individual at the front of the line who has attempted to hit the Help button about 1,000 times in the ten minutes he too has been trapped in that line, let’s all hope the human voice behind that help button he is eventually connected with is a halfway decent human being. If that human voice coming through that speaker is also acting like a jackass, being disrespectful to the elderly gentleman who is just trying his best to get his equally elderly wife in to her medical appointment, you my friend, that guy behind that voice on that Help line, is going to have a problem. The only thing that guy behind the Help voice should be thankful for is the fact that I can’t help myself by reaching through that machine and dragging him through to the other side to make him apologize to this poor guy. Because that can’t happen, you bet your ass I’ll make it my days mission to call everyone in charge, complain, do so loudly and with a vengeance. There is absolutely no reason to act like a jerk. You will be elderly someday too - Get it together. P.S. you were not helpful and suck at your job.

6. If you don’t want to work in a field that requires you to occasionally interact with other humans, get yourself a job that requires no personal interaction at all. Curiosity got the better of me, so all you tried and true readers reading today know I googled it. Indeed, the most popular search engine out there for those seeking employment, even has a particular category that one can find that meets those criteria. Don’t believe me? Check it out… https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/no-customer-jobs

7. Don’t look at me, I’ll talk to anybody.

8. What do you do when you're a freshman in college and come home for the weekend? You infiltrate your Grandmother's house, taking over her kitchen, and cook everyone breakfast. What happens to Grammy after this delicious breakfast has been served, all dishes have been cleaned and put away, and all kids have vacated the premises leaving your home once again quiet and clean? You spend all of next week looking for your pots and pans. They said they washed and put them all away but, who the hell knows where they put them. If you kids want pies at Thanksgiving, you better tell Grammy where you put her pans.

9. I hope you city dwellers are following all the new trash and recycling rules. I'm not sure if the powers that be who are in charge of trash and recycling just don't have any faith in the intelligence of their community or assume none of us listen to them - either way I have seen more ads and public announcements on social media reminding all of us to follow the updated recycling rules. Some rules such as these don't always encourage or inspire all of us to follow them, but instead can be counter productive resulting in the opposite results that one is attempting to achieve. Case in point...if you keep harassing us to sort our recyclable items, telling us to pay careful attention to what should and should not be put in the shiny new bins, this may cause some of us to not so subconsciously fill a 20 gallon plastic bag full of smaller plastic bags of all shapes and sizes just because you've specifically told your audience those particular items of the trash bag variety are not acceptable items to hit that bin. The constant reminders of said rules only inspire some of us to break them, just sayin. Have a little faith that as hard working tax paying citizens of The Woo, we too would like cleaner trash free streets - give us a little credit...even Sue Miller so far has been following the rules.

10. Fun fact. Sue Miller does not discriminate and not only has a ceiling fan/light combo in her bedroom, but also in her dining room directly over the dining room table. Now's when I should mention that Deb joined us for breakfast on Saturday, and for you faithful readers, you'll remember that Sue Miller and Deb have absolutely no business being anywhere near a ceiling fan, especially together. When that happens chaos and anarchy ensues and all hell breaks loose. During breakfast someone mistakenly asked that the fan be turned on because all of the hot air these girls were spewing about was heating the place up. This of course meant that someone had to touch the pull string to operate the fan portion of the ceiling fan/light. How do you think that all worked out? It worked great going on but turning the fan portion of the ceiling fan/light off was another story all together. Moral of the story. Sue Miller should not be allowed ceiling fans...while I'm at it, neither should Deb. The End.

And last but not least...be kind for crying out loud. The world already sucks enough, be the solution, not the problem.

Have a great weekend!