Your Weekly Antics, Day Drinking Goes to the Dogs Edition...9-8-2022

The September full moon is upon us people, one does not need to look skyward in the overnight hours of September 9th to realize this fact. Just look around and breathe in the air of crazy that is swirling around us. You don’t feel it? Maybe you’re not paying attention, because it’s out there. Or maybe you don’t notice because you’re the cause of crazy, it could go either way. I don’t know about any of you but I’ve just about had enough with the full moon and his meddling ways. The moon needs to keep his bad attitude and weird vibes to himself and quit messing with the rest of us. My extra sensitive Spidey senses can only take so much…here’s what I’ve got…

1. So you’re sick of hearing about the full moons, well that’s too bad, someone has to keep you in the know. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times, don’t underestimate the power of the full moon and how it messes with you, messes with me, messes with the public which in turn does come back around and messes with you again. When the moon stirs up trouble for Joe Shmow down on the corner, you bet your ass the ripple effect has started and next thing you know, you’re driving behind a dump truck on trash day and someone’s nasty trash blows out on to your windshield. Would something like this happen on a regular day? You know the answer to that…of course not, get it together.

2. This month’s full moon is also known as the Harvest Moon or the Corn Moon. This months moon was given these names way back in pre-electricity days because farmers utilized the moons rays that cast light on their fields to continue harvesting their crops long after the sun went down. Here’s what I’ve got to say about that. I know I live in the Woo and mean no disrespect to farmers – they have one of the hardest jobs in this country trying to keep everyone fed. I’ve been known to have a tomato plant or two on my deck and in my yard, but you won’t catch me wandering out there after dark, Harvest moon or not, to pluck the one or two tomato’s I get every other week because I didn’t think to do so before the sun closed up for the night. With that said, I appreciate all the trouble the full moon goes through trying to help the farmers out, but it needs to leave me the hell alone. I’ve got a light on my deck and lights in my yard should I feel the need to harvest my crop of one tomato some night after dark. Skip along moon, find yourself a field somewhere…stay off my corner. I can cause enough trouble by myself, thank you very much.

3. Day drinking for dogs…you read that right kids, read it again. One large-ish mischievous companion of the fury four legged variety took it upon herself to partake in hitting the bottle and hitting it hard mid-week. Bored with the lack of entertainment provided to her by her work from home human who was conducting and attending supervisory zoom meetings and in-service, she took matters in to her own paws and stole her persons Tequila. Was it the good stuff? Of course it was – we Elder Services employees only buy the best on our salaries. Now before all you animal lovers out there get ready to call Animal Control and the MSPCA claiming neglect and abuse, let’s get one thing straight, this dog is not being abused, rules the roost of her house, and keeps her people in check. And yes, her person does keep her alcohol locked up, this beast in question just happens to have a knack for opening secure places, and then popping the top off of secure bottles and helping herself. She may actually be the abuser, not the abused.

4. And it’s happened again people…why anyone at Elder Services bothers to retire is beyond me. You guessed it, Parenteau has temporarily retired from retirement. You’re welcome, Billy Parenteau…anything we can do to help you out.

5. See this little critter? Exhibit 1, is known by several names such as, the Wooly Caterpillar, Wooly Bear, Wooly Worm, whatever you want to call him. Unknown to me, this little guys super power is predicting the weather. Who needs Kevin Lemanowitz and his weather reports now? Just find yourself one of these guys, I’ve been told he won’t steer you wrong. Thank you Vickie Barrett who is not only a loyal reader of the Antics, but also a consistent contributor of information and fun facts.

6. Despite full moons, werewolves, unretiring from retirement and day drinking with your dog to name a few, I'm happy to report that so far this week, all clients appear to be keeping their clothes on. This is what happens once the temperature begins to finally dip below 80 degrees. They get chilly and come to their senses.

7. BIG NEWS in the Nutrition Department people...the nutrition department is now offering Latino and Vietnamese meals to Worcester residents who are participants of the Home Delivered Meal Program. That Jim Burns I tell you...he's a man of the people.

8. As it's fall, let's talk about the come back of everything pumpkin. Just like my clients like to finally start keeping their clothes on once the temperatures start to fall, all things pumpkin begin their comeback. Kids are back to school. Everyone has finally come to grips that summer is over. Soon the trees will start to change colors and we'll be pulling out our long sleeves and sweatshirts. Around every corner and every shelf is something of the pumpkin variety. If you don't like pumpkin, I don't know what to tell you, it's everywhere...but like the fall leaves on the trees, pumpkin season is short lived, so if this is your favorite flavor season, enjoy. If not, you're kind of screwed. Suck it up, peppermint season and Christmas are just around the corner.

9. Let's get back to spiders, spidey senses or lack there of. All creatures near and far have a job, I get that. However, the spider needs to do his job of catching all of those other tiny bugs and flies under the cover of darkness and where I'm not looking. If I see one and his eight legs and if it's big enough where I can see its beady little eyes, it's on. It's me, or it's him and I'm the one paying the bills around here, so there's the door, or the bottom of my shoe, where ever he finds himself first. According to google, spider activity increases this time of year due to change in temperatures. They start to look for warmer places to hide and make their way in to our homes through any tiny crevice they can find. They better not get comfortable here, I'm not a fan. Here are some fun facts about spiders should your interests be peaked...check this out...

https://blog.burgesspest.com/blog/massachusetts-spider-control-facts-about-spiders

10. In case you've been keeping up, I have it on good authority that Walter Duffy did in fact read last weeks Antics. This may be a first and probably a last. Christmas miracles never cease, even in September.

And last but not least, I haven't seen any wooly caterpillars anywhere, so I'm thinking it's safe to say we've still got some good weather coming our way. School may be back and routines up and running, but soak up whatever we have left of Indian Summer while we can. And yes, I googled Indian Summer...that phrase remains politically correct.

Have a great weekend!