Your Weekly Antics, Crazy Train Edition 7-31-25...

Well kids, hallelujah it’s raining…maybe it’ll start to cool off a bit. Things were a bit weird last week and I’d like to say that’s the reason why the Antics weren’t out on time, but I’d be lying. The effort was there, but to be honest, I just can’t seem to get my act together. We’re just about in August and I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of sweating my arse off and would love the remainder of our summer days to hover somewhere around 75 degrees and lose the humidity. Last Friday we had the much-anticipated release of Happy Gilmore 2, and I was hoping for the best because let’s face it, it was a rough week due to the passing of Ozzy, and we needed a win. The movie started out strong but will require additional viewings to determine exactly where I stand on it. In the meantime, here’s what I’ve got…

1. For those of you who grew up in the 80’s, we lost several celebrities last week who were staples of our youth. Every kid I grew up with beat the hell out of each other much like my brother and I did – we spent unsupervised time jumping off furniture body slamming each other like we watched Hulk Hogan do and of course, we lost the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy was everywhere and for many of us it was our first introduction to heavy metal and if you were lucky, Ozzy may have been your first concert you ever saw at the Worcester Centrum. When you’re a kid whose parents grew up in the 80’s, you’re bound to be subjected to the music your parents grew up with, and the Kap kids were no different. For the middle kid, Ozzy was one of her favorites, Crazy Train being the first song she learned to play on her electric guitar by listening to it over and over and over again. Although RG was never able to meet Ozzy in person or see him in concert, she met the next best thing, his wife Sharon Osbourne, backstage at America’s Got Talent thanks to Deidre. Star struck, yet young enough not to be too afraid to put herself out there, Reaghan was able to give Sharon a message to pass along to Ozzy, and I bet she did. Exhibit 1, the Kap kids meeting Sharon Osbourne.

2. Speaking of going old school, driving through the streets of the Woo I happened upon a few neighborhood kids and their lemonade stand. They weren’t just selling lemonade, but also their homemade crafts, including bracelets. If you happen to find yourself cutting through a neighborhood before summers end and run across a group of kids selling refreshments and crafts they spent their time and energy on, give them credit for the hustle by stopping quickly and buying their goods, you’ll make their day.  Exhibit 2, our newest summer bracelets for the low cost of 25 cents…I told them they need to up their prices and start saving for college, so their parents don’t have to sell one of their kidneys.

3. Sue Miller had a surprise visitor at her humble abode who joined us for the youngest Kap kids Birthday celebration. Emmy must have received the underground canine memo to position herself right next to Grammy at dinner, because it took her all of 3 seconds to determine that Sue Miller is the weakest link when it comes to accidentally dropping things under the table. Exhibit 3, Emmy and the middle Kap kid leaving Grammy’s house.

 4.  I’m sure this is not news to anyone, but the latest update on the monitor lizard that was loose on Webster Lake is that he’s crossed state lines and has been seen in a body of water in Thompson CT. He answers to the name Goose, but clearly, he’s got things to do, places to go and other species to see, because he’s on the run and doesn’t have time for the rest of us and respond to his name. Stay away from the water kids…although what a tale that would be if you happened to witness one of your friends getting eaten by the infamous and on the run Lake Lizard...I bet that would get you out of all those summer reading assignments.  Exhibit 4, Goose, the Monitor Lizard.

5. What happens when you mess with the youngest Kap kids sister? She finds you. Due to the astronomical cost of eggs these days, you do not have to worry about your car being egged, you do however have to worry about how much she knows about you. For instance…if you have a nut allergy, bet your ass she’s chasing you down with a family size bag of trail mix. Be smart people, stay on the youngest Kap kid’s good side.

6. New and fun ways I mess with Al. I make him T-shirts and don’t tell him that the print I used on those t-shirts' glow in the dark. It’s way more fun to let him figure this one out on his own – is it him that’s glowing, is it the equipment he’s working on, or is he losing his mind?  Exhibit 5, one of Al's many glow in the dark t-shirts.

7. Last Friday I did not heed the good advice given to me by weather enthusiast Al who while leaving for work in that morning, warned me of potentially bad weather, thunderstorms and heavy rains. The afternoon hit, I’m going about my business with the top down on the jeep driving over to get my hair cut by soon to be Mrs. Trinque, Kelsea McCart, when I get a weather alert on my phone stating I had three minutes until the area was to be pummeled by heavy rains, thunder and lightning. Jeep top down, gray skies and thunder roll in, and there I sat, mid haircut and embracing the reality I would be having a wet and soggy ride home. One would think why not just run out to put the top up, that would solve that. I hate to break it to you, but I am no longer the spry individual who may have been known to have cat – like reflexes back in the day, because in fact, time and my body have both betrayed me. I now require physical assistance when putting the top of the jeep back up, that and there was no way in hell I was running out to the jeep before those first drops of rain hit the pavement. This is where Kelsea and Hannah come in. Not only do they do their best to meet the hair dressing needs of their friends and customers, but ran out to put the top up to help me avoid a wet soggy ride home and a lifetime of I told you so's from Al.

8. You want to test how strong your marriage is? Go on the MEFA website and go through the student loan process with your spouse and your kid. If you make it out unscathed without needing an entire team of mental health professionals or bail, you’re staying married forever. #enlistintheservice  #gototradeschool  #MEFASUCKS

9. When you own a washing machine that has the smart dispenser feature…the feature that allows you to fill the dispenser to capacity and then it dispenses the detergent on its own when you run the wash…here’s a fun fact, listen to your wife. When you think you’ve been robbed because you can’t find what your daughters did with the laundry detergent, and your wife tells you not to worry because the dispenser is still full, it is most definitely full. Just because you can’t see where the detergent is inside the machine doesn’t mean there isn’t detergent in it…that’s what you signed up for when you bought a machine with a smart dispenser. So, when she tells you it’s full and you don’t need to constantly keep filling it and topping it off, guess what? She knows what she’s talking about. Because, when the machine finally dies and is removed from the basement, the entire 64 fluid ounce bottle of detergent will spill out, all over the basement floor, up the basement stairs, on the kitchen floor, out onto the deck, onto the deck stairs and onto the walkway all the way to the truck hauling it out. When this happens, your wife will sit back comfortably reclined on the deck chair and say, I told you so….and when that happens for the love of GOD I hope you know enough to keep it moving. Exhibit 6, the bubbles that still appeared in the rain a week later after the walkway was covered in detergent.

10.  About 17 dogs ago I remember saying, next dog we get, we’re training him to stay the hell out of the kitchen. I’m here to report that never happened and a rookie move was had. If you leave a frosted layered birthday cake on the counter and turn your back long enough, Gibson will lick the entire side of it and in the trash the slobbered frosting-less cake will go. He’s also known to lick all the condiment containers on the refrigerator door if ones back is turned. We’ve lost a lot of ketchup to this dog.

 Exhibit 7, condiment thief.

And last but not least… If anyone comes across any Weekly Antics sticker on drive thru coffee joints in the area, I have no idea how they got there. I also have no idea why they contain a spelling error. Where are my proofreaders? #noregerts

Have a great weekend!