Your Weekly Antics, Cortland New York and Rest Stop Pickled Beets...9-15-2022

Good morning kids, hope you’re having a fabulous week. I was struggling a bit deciding what to write in this weeks Antics and then I had supervision with Robyn, went over my client list, which only reminded me that I am gifted with a plethora of information day in and day out. In addition to the standard shenanigans that are Elder Services, please read this weeks title...Here’s what I’ve got…

1. What’s new at Elder Services you ask? The reconfiguration of workspace, that’s what’s happening. Before anyone starts saying, Oh poor Joe Burns, he’s still stuck sitting with Lisa…let me tell you something. I checked in and gave him a free pass to kick me to the curb should he be tempted by the greener pastures that may or may not be a new cubemate. I’m happy to report that he’s a loyal guy and he’s in it to win it. Little does he know that I’m working at ESW until the day I die or become a client. If I live to client hood, that automatically means he’ll eventually have to become the Crisis Worker and take me on as his client. Sorry Joe, it's an unwritten rule...I’ve got big plans to torment you and my kids…at least you already know all my tricks.

2. Shared space, single space, staying where we are, moving around…I’m not gonna lie to you – I have no idea what’s going on. What I do know is that I’m up there in seniority and will have one of the first shots at where I’d like my new workspace to be. So start the bidding wars now. You want to try to convince me to take you on to share workspace with you? There’s going to have to be some money in it because I too am loyal and would have to split that with Burns. He’s young, he’s got things going on that require cold hard cash. For the right price I’m sure he’d have no problem sitting with some other scrub who has less seniority than I do. We've got it all planned out...get it together.

3. I log in, I log out. I do my work. When I go to the office, I’m just happy to see that my desk and all of my belongings are all where I left them. When it’s time to pack up and move, let me know. I may have to have a replay of events from when we moved to our existing office some 15 years ago. I was conveniently out of work because the youngest Kap kid was born, so Leah Hazard was stuck with the task of packing up my stuff. If I should become mysteriously absent this time Joe, call Amy Bullett, tell her I'm missing. She may be so distraught by my absence that you may be able to convince her that due to sentimental reasons she should pack up my stuff. As she's been appointed the daunting task of vacating our holiday closet of its contents, I'm sure she'd be thrilled to also have to pack up my desk. With that said, Elvin and Kelly get your arses back to ESW and pick up your giant Grinch cut out...he's long overdue to meet the dumpster.

4. Went to Cortland New York last weekend kids and on our way, we came upon a lovely countryside rest stop that had a Farm Stand set up. This farm stand known by many for their fabulous, jarred items, I purchased Al a jar of Pickled Beets. Yes, I agree that this seems to be one of the more bizarre items one can purchase on the side of the road, but what can I say? I’m a giver. The guy loves Pickled Beets, and I travelled long and far to obtain such an item. This purchase was made in the hopes that he’d be so excited to receive them that he’d overlook the small fury thing that came home with us. It didn’t work, but don't fear my friends, aka Bitches on the Hill, your little friend has settled in nicely and he and Al have become besties. It's all good in the hood.

You want pickled beets and other jarred items, check out their website, they ship... http://www.conbeersfarm.com/

5. What don’t you do after 4pm on a Friday, or really between the hours of 4pm and 9am? Use your teeth to open something, you’re just asking for trouble. If you’re going to be so foolish as to attempt to open a container, loosen a cap or do anything else that your mother would frown upon after regular dentists’ hours, you’re tempting fate and asking for a broken tooth. If you’re going to be that stupid, do it between the hours of 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday. Unless your Dentist is Dr. Foo, you’re going to have to wait until 8am on Tuesdays...he's got other things to do on Mondays than deal with the likes of you. Don’t be a dope.

6. Once a client, always a client. They never go away people and of all the things they lose like their keys, cars, and minds, they don’t manage to lose my card or my number. I received a letter in the mail today from a former client I had several years back who misses the likes of myself, Angel and Walter - his letter indicates that he’d like us to swing by, visit, and save him from the politicians he believes are relentlessly harassing him. You know I'm going because it's not often I receive fan mail as opposed to hate mail. Gotta keep my friends close.

7. Doing this job, you learn a few things. You have a client that’s constantly dodging you, not answering the door or the phone, you get creative and get information from whatever source is available. Often some of the best info I’ve received over the years has been from the mailman. Your local Postal Worker knows everything and their knowledge of the hoods they service is endless…they offer that info without prompting when they see you knocking on a door and being ignored, because they want to make sure you're not some weirdo who's messing with one of their people on their route. You want to know how often an elder leaves the house? Ask the mailman. Do they leave their front porch light on over night? Do they have shady characters coming and going? The mailman will spill it. However, in a somewhat rookie move, I gave this particular Postal worker not one card but several. What did the Postal Worker do with my cards? She handed them out to all the neighbors. My phone hasn't stopped ringing...well played mailman, well played.

8. What was the excitement in the Woo earlier this week? Thick black smoke, that was the excitement. It could be seen from near and far as the new Doherty High School construction set fire. Thankfully school was out which I'd imagine thankfully lessened the chaos, and there were no injuries reported. The WFD reacted quickly and swiftly and got things under control. The school is already over budget, and the material used for the roof was reported to be flammable...if they're over budget, one would think that perhaps someone in charge put them over budget by purchasing the best and safest material available to build a new state of the art school - thus, avoiding flammable materials. I am no construction worker and do not claim to know much, but I think that common sense would dictate that one does not use flammable material to build any roof, never mind a roof that will house hundreds of school kids. But what do I know? No one asked me, I'm just a Social Worker.

9. Here's a thought. If you attempt to evict someone due to their inability to manage their dog and the elder rehomes the dog in order to preserve her housing, perhaps you, as building management, should not advocate for said individual to get a new dog. Help me help you. Don't call me when the new dog trashes the place, she can't take care of him and you want her and her dog gone. Common sense people. Has everyone lost their friggin minds???

10. If you're going to do your job, do it well or don't waste everyone's time. We don't have time for your inadequacies and dragging your feet. If you're asked by the court to make sure an elders Guardian is on the up -and-up and not spending her millions of dollars for their own gain, get to work and do the job. If you don't want to do the job efficiently and in a timely manner, bow out, no harm done. The rate this court appointed wing nut is going, this elders money could've been spent ten times over by now. But fortunate for her, her Guardian isn't a jack ass. If I had been the appointed Guardian I'd be living large on a beach in Hawaii somewhere. Do your job or get a new one. Moron.

11. And last but not least, I'd like to remind you all that it takes less energy to be kind that it does to be a tool. We're all going to drop dead someday - get your ducks in a row, forgive, and quit wasting time being an asshat. Life's too short, get it together.

Have a great weekend!