Your Weekly Antics, City Recycling Rules & Sue Miller's Ceiling Fan Follies...9-22-2022

1. Looks like the city of Worcester is fed up with its residents not following the recycling rules. The DPW and the powers that be listened to the voices of their people and the numerous complaints made about the recycling bins. The city’s residents have suffered for far too long with too small and flimsy recycling bins that residents did not believe adequately held the contents of their recycling items. Too smallish and flimsy bins causing those overflowing recycling items to unceremoniously meander about the streets of our fine city. Bins blowing about, trash littering the roadways, trash landing in yards and driveways and in shrubs and on lawns, giving city taxpayers more to pick up than the usual litter scattered about - complete anarchy. Not only did the city put out and purchase these ergonomically correct shiny new bins that are also adorned with a cover to keep its contents safely inside the container, but then delivered a bin to the homes of each resident. Talk about service. Well kids, nothing’s free. You want something from the people in charge? They want something in return. Now that we all have our fancy new recycling bins the city is no longer going to put up with you or put up with me, and our lack of respect for the trash – more specifically, what is and what is not acceptable as recyclable material for our new bins.

2. Al is a stickler and follower of all rules, trash and recycling rules are no exception. Over the years he’s become more lacks, letting those of us who utilize the family recycling bins slide now and then, but now it’s on. He’s taking the city’s stand on returning to enforcing what can and cannot go into the recycling bins seriously and is not playing around. Do you think this motivates me to choose carefully what goes in the recycling bin? Absolutely not, what fun would that be? It’s on all right. This has only motivated me to put anything and everything that even remotely resembles a recycling type material right into that fancy new bin or if I really want to piss him off, in to the regular yellow trash bags. It’s the little things kids…it’s become a game – how often can we hear Al say, direct trash violation before he snaps? We’ll keep you posted.

Here is a list of what is NOT acceptable recycling...

The following items will not be accepted:

• Plastic bags

• Wax-coated paper items

• Plastic cutlery, paper towels or Styrofoam food containers

• Food or liquids

• Clothing or linens

• Hoses, electrical wires or chains

• Batteries, scrap metal, pans or aerosol cans

• Electronic devices or hazardous materials

• Ceramics or baking glass

• Medical waste, including gloves and masks

• Yard waste, such as wood or tires

For more information on how you can do your part as an upstanding citizen of The Woo, check this out...

https://www.worcesterma.gov/announcements/recycling-bins-must-contain-only-acceptable-items-starting-oct.-1

3. I don't know about you, but after reading the list of unacceptable recycling items I'm more confused than ever. This is what we CAN put in our recycling bins...

• Aluminum & Steel Cans (Foil & Empty Food & Beverage Cans)

• Boxboard (Dry-Food Boxes, Egg Cartons & Rolls)

• Corrugated Cardboard (Wavy Center Layer)

• Glass Bottles & Jars (Empty Food & Beverage Bottles & Jars)

• Newspaper, Junk Mail, Magazines & Office Paper (Paper Bags, Envelopes & Catalogs)

• Plastic Bottles, Jugs, Tubs & Lids (Empty Kitchen, Laundry & Bath Containers)

Orrrr give up entirely and throw it all in the over priced rippable yellow city trash bags, that's what I've been doing.

4. First we had to worry about the Asian Long Horned Beetles. Now the city has alerted us to be on the look out for an invasive fly called the Spotted Lanternfly. Apparently these spotted little buggers are known to attack over 70 different plants including trees as well as crops such as grapes, apples and hops. Let’s talk about a few things. For starters, our apples are under attack, right in the middle of apple picking season. That, in itself, is unamerican. Second, they’re messing with the grapes, which could potentially lead to a wine shortage and we all know how you all like your wine. Third, hops. They’re messing with hops and we need hops to make beer. Without beer and wine you are looking at a potentially completely sober holiday season. Now ask yourselves…is that going to end well for anyone? Of course it’s not, get it together. If you see one of these wine and beer ruining bastards do your part and squish it and then report it to MASSNRC.ORG/PEST/SLF ...

let's work together, our beer and wine are at stake. Exhibit 1 – a picture of the fly in question as well as how to report a siting. Be vigilant people, don’t mess around.

5. Should we all fail to do the above and all grape and hops crops destroyed, alcohol production will suffer. Without grapes to make wine and hops to make beer, we won't have to worry about over consumption of either that would result in recyclable bottles and cans. That would be irony at its best because those are probably the only two items that most of us can readily identify as appropriate items to put in the recycling bins to begin with.

6. Bugs and flies and crickets alike... There is some kind of bug like creature who has taken up residence outside of my kitchen window. Who knows how long he's been there, if this was a recent move, or perhaps he's inhabited this space all summer and I'm just noticing because we've finally been able to turn off the AC and open some windows. Either way, he's got to skip a long. I spent one day last week trying to figure out what the noise was and where the hell it was coming from. First, I was convinced it was the dishwasher, you know the thing that everyone else besides me seems to forget to load and unload - nope, not that. Then I think it's the AC that was still running in middle kid and youngest kid's room, nope, not that either. Was it the coffee maker? Washing machine? Noises in my head finally decide to make an appearance outside of my head for a change? No, no and no. After unplugging anything and everything that had the potential to create a buzz or hum of electricity, I discover the noise was coming from the shrubs outside my kitchen window. Being as resourceful as I am, I handled things accordingly. I took the sprayer from the kitchen sink and sprayed it through the screen in to the bushes - that shut him up, but not for long, sooner than later he resumed his chorus of mockery just to make me nuts. Curiosity got the better of me so I went to where I get all my tried and true information, google, to find out what bug was out there messing with me., it's a male Cicada. I say is, because he is in fact still hanging around and seems to think that he and the sink sprayer are in a relationship and playing some kind of game - that and he's not taking my threats seriously that I am one step from setting fire to the bush he's living in. My reading told me that this litany of sounds is the male cicada's mating call and he uses it to attract the female cicada. Well isn't that romantic? No, no it is not. I don't care what the hell his purpose is outside my kitchen window, but he best find himself somewhere else to hang out to pick up chicks. BE. GONE or the sprayer will be replaced with a blow torch.

7. Sue Millers ceiling fan follies continue. There was an alert that her kitchen light bulb was out. As you all know Sue Miller's not afraid of me, she's not afraid of you, and she's certainly not afraid of my Brother. In fact, she's made it perfectly clear that it is her belief that the laws of gravity do not apply to her. She thinks she can climb anything she wants whenever she wants. Not this time Sue, Ronnie Miller beat you at your own game. He got over there before she had the chance to pull out any of her climbing - a - top - of furniture type household items she uses for such tasks. You know, the items that more times than not might even have a sticker on them stating, not intended for climbing or standing... The end result? After all that, the bulb was fine and in good working order. So why didn't it work you ask? Wait for it...she pulled the wrong string on the ceiling fan. Shocking, I agree. And guess what? Sue Miller had him change the light bulb anyway...ya know, to be proactive. Ronnie is thinking now that it's gotten cooler out, there should be no reason for Sue Miller to touch the chains that hang from the ceiling fans again until at least June 2023. Again, keep your feet securely on the floor.

8. Big news people. Did anyone else feel a ripple in the force of Sunday morning grocery shopping? If so, that was Al once again being messed with by Wegmans. Al swears by the Wegmans shopping app, and apparently upon arrival to do our weekly grocery shopping he was informed, without any kind of advanced notice, that Wegmans has discontinued the use of their shopping app. Al sites this as the sole reason for adding 50 extra bucks to his normally fine tuned grocery bill as well as adding to the time in which it takes him to shop - he states this in turn screwed up the timing of his whole day. Of course I shared this pertinent information with those who closely follow Al's Wegmans shenanigans and one such follower responded with, still waiting for Al to figure out Wegmans is the Devils workshop... I'm here to report, I think he finally has...it was only a matter of time.

more on the discontinuation of the shopping app...looks like too many bad apples ruined it for the rest of us....

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/18/business/wegmans-self-checkout-shoplifting.html

9. Not only did Wegmans ruin Al's day by taking away his beloved shopping app, but they sucked him in to this purchase. Whoever the marketing person was behind the packaging for this product, I like their humor. However, the tp rolls are about half the size of any other roll out there, that's how they're saving the trees. Either way, check out the fine print on this in Exhibit 2...

10. Vacuums - you know the appliances that come with attachments that caution you to turn off, or better yet, unplug the appliance prior to attaching or detaching those attachments? The manufacturer may know what they're talking about. This instruction is not listed just to be a pain in your arse and add time to your task. Those who created and tested the product prior to allowing it to hit the shelves for retail, may actually be on to something...so, if you purchase a new vacuum and decide to get all crazy and try all the attachments to reach those hard to get areas behind and under the couch, do yourself a favor and heed their advice. Unplug, or at least shut off the vacuum before you start screwing around with all the fancy attachments and gadgets it came with - trust me on this one - you don't want to have to explain to anyone why and how you got your hair sucked up.

And last but not least...in a world full of clouds and crabs, be someone's happy go lucky ray of f*&^g sunshine. Amy & Diane, you do my heart good.

Have a great weekend!