Your Weekly Antics, Christmas Eve Edition...12/24/25

Well kids, we hope you enjoyed Festivus, which of course was yesterday, December 23rd. The one day of the year to air your grievances letting your family and closest friends know exactly how they've disappointed you over the past twelve months. We hope you fared well in the Feats of Strength and are no worst for the ware. Here's what I've got...

1. Well, it's Christmas Eve. Hate to break it to you, but if you haven’t gotten your shopping and wrapping done by now, you're screwed. You've missed the boat, allowing the clock to run down to the final hours and minutes to Christmas day. My suggestion? Embrace this faux pas and just go with it. Sure, you may consider making that attempt to run over to CVS where we all do our best last minute shopping, but why strive towards overachievement at this stage of the game when you can embrace it? Look at it this way, you are technically paying it forward and proactively preparing for next year....by waiting until last minute and not completing your Christmas shopping, you've given your closest family and friends a grievance to air this time next year during your Festivus celebration. Silver lining kids...silver lining.

   
   

 2. Driving home from visits this week while attempts were being made to embrace the Christmas spirit, I found myself listening to the same three Christmas songs over and over and over again when I eventually came upon this, Exhibit 1, Elf 97. Curiosity got the better of me, so of course I drove up alongside of the vehicle in question to see if there was, in fact, a real life modern day Elf behind the wheel of that fine piece of machinery. What I saw one would suspect was an actual Elf of advanced age, who could barely see over the steering well as she made her way towards the ramp onto route 290. I would’ve snapped a picture to prove my Elf sighting, but I made awkward eye contact, and I don’t know about you, but I’m not taking any chances and pissing off one of Santa’s Elves during Christmas week…I'm smarter than that.

3. Clearly Elf 97 did not find herself traveling behind this guy in Exhibit 2. This individual either kidnapped one of Elf 97’s buddies or doesn’t care if he pisses off the big guy and winds up on the naughty list.

4. More elf discoveries...in Exhibit 3 you will find “Goof on a Roof”. Elves getting in the spirit at a school in Holliston. Not sure if Holliston PD was there to support this Elf or there to arrest her.

5. Like that creepy little Elf on the Shelf I’ve been warning all of you people about for years, I too have the ability to pop up just about anywhere, so you best be on your best behavior…Exhibit 4, Nick picking up his BFF Colin from Colin’s aunts house. Little did Nick know that Colleen is one of my BFF’s and I would be there when he arrived. I’m like vapor…you never know where you'll find me.

6. Wrapping. For starters, wrapping kind of sucks, is time consuming and I never seem to have enough room to spread all the paper out, lose the scissors every time I put them down, leave strands of tape on every surface I’m working on, run out of paper and end up using brown paper bags or whatever paper product I can find, and end up completely pissed off by the third present in. This time was no different except that I lost it early on in the wrapping process. This year I was sucked in by the commercialism that is beautiful shimmery wrapping paper that was not the slimsy light weight stuff that rips and tears before you even fold up those neat corners. I sprung for the good stuff – I bought what I thought was high quality heavy paper and was excited to start making magic happen via scotch tape and scissors. Was it magic? No, it was not. I had purchased the devil’s paper and anarchy ensued.

7. Exhibit 5, beautiful shiny red paper with a glimpse of shimmer without the effects of evil Elves dust otherwise known as glitter. This paper was made by those who hate Christmas and have a vendetta against the rest of us who strive to bring Christmas cheer to all of our gift recipients via gorgeous packaging. This paper is the worse and is no match for any form of tape – scotch tape, duct tape, masking tape, nothing. After struggling through a whole roll of paper and wrapped gifts proceeding to unwrap themselves, I then take note of the packaging this evil faulty paper came in. The packaging indicated that included with the paper, were a set of 12 glue dots meant to be used in place of tape, to get this stupid paper to stay stuck together. 12 glue dots for 12 feet of paper? What the hell are you supposed to do with that? Nothing, that's what. I call BS on all of it.

8. According to Erin Paolini, a tried-and-true reader of the Antics, this 12-glue dot business may be the works of the Japanese wrapping technique, “furoshiki”. This technique requires the wrapper to create pockets with the paper to tuck into each other, allowing the wrapper to use minimal tape or no tape or all. The end result is a gorgeously wrapped package with precise clean lines, giving a professionally wrapped look. Whatever. Nobody's got time for that...Gimme tape, and lots of it.

6 Ways to Wrap a Gift with Furoshiki

9. Here’s how I solved the wrapping paper problem…screw the no tape fancy approach. Who needs tape or expert folding techniques when you have a glue gun. That’s right, this year I glue gunned all my presents together. Wrapping paper hack by Lisa Kap for the win. 🎤🔥

10. Not all Christmas fun consists of wrapping paper or Elves who have gone rogue. The Miller and Kap kids made their annual trip to Sue Millers house to partake in the wholesome tradition of Christmas cookie decorating. Exhibit 6, my annual and much anticipated contribution to this event that signifies the official start of the Christmas season via mocking my brother Ron Miller...let the festivities begin.

And last but not least...whatever you do or wherever you find yourselves this holiday season, I hope you take the time to sit back and relax, we've all earned it.

Merry Christmas! 🎄🎅