Your Weekly Antics, Brine Isn't Just for Turkeys Anymore... 2-20-25

Well kids, hope you’re having a fabulous week, and you didn’t screw up your cupid duties which in turn got yourselves set up for days of misery and disdain. Check on your friends everyone…there’s a good chance they may have messed things up for themselves and are now frozen in a block of ice somewhere in a back alley of our fine city.

1.  What have we learned in the past few weeks? That there is more than one groundhog, and to be a groundhog, you don’t actually have to be of the groundhog variety. You just have to be a creature of sorts that your community has chosen to dump all the weather prediction activity on and then be able to take the blame for any and all-weather phenomena that happens from that point on. Exhibit 1, Worcester has its own Groundhog. This is Cornelia who resides at the Worcester Ecotarium. You learn something new every day when reading The Antics.

2.  My take on this? Doesn’t matter what species your groundhog may be, if you’re going to rip it out of its warm, toasty place of rest in the middle of winter, he or she is not going to tell you what you want to hear, so serves you all right that it’s been so friggin freezing around here that no one wants to leave the house. Exhibit 2, This is the groundhog of the 02. When he melts, spring is on the way...doesn't take rocket science to figure that one out.

3.  Are the groundhogs responsible for the poorly sanded and winter treated streets and sidewalks of the Woo? Nice try, no they are not. But the excuses we’ve been hearing for the lack of the attention our streets have received, that will be the next one we hear. Get it together town officials. Most groundhogs don’t have thumbs, therefore they are not physically able to push the button required to let the salt loose to fly freely upon our icy roadways even if they were licensed to operate said material. Get it together people, you’re smarter than that. Don’t believe me that groundhogs are thumbless? Check out these groundhog facts…

https://www.livescience.com/57922-groundhog-facts.html

4. Here’s a fun fact, brine isn’t just for turkeys. There’s turkey brine which consists of salt, water, and other seasonings that we associate with thanksgiving goodness, and then there is street brine which involves dissolved road salt and water. The purpose of this concoction is to pre-treat the roads. Hear that??? Pre- treat, as in take a proactive approach to icy roadways that cause hazardous driving conditions. Perhaps the powers that be were confused and instead of brining our city streets, they instead brined all their turkeys in preparation for a nice hot hearty meal for their Sunday dinner last week.

5. There’s a parking ban for a reason ya moron. If you leave your car parked in the street you’re not just getting plowed in, you’re screwing it up for everyone else who lives on your street. Do what the rest of us do here in the Woo…if there’s no more room in your driveway, park your car on your lawn. That’s what lawnmower Joe and Al do down here on the corner. Exhibit 3, this is not our corner, we abide by the parking ban. Naturally we are much smarter than that and it's more fun parking on the lawn, so we look like we're running a used car lot down here.

6.  You have brine on your mind now, don’t you? Taste buds watering? Well, let’s put all this talk to good use. If you decide to brine your turkey, seeing as no one’s using any kind of salt concoction on our city streets, know that sage can also be used as an ingredient in an edible form of brine. Sage has many uses. You can pick some up and throw it in with the mix you concoct for pre seasoning your next meal and keep the extra on the side to burn it to ward off all the germs and evil spirits that may be floating around your house. Two-in-one right there people. Work smarter, not harder. Exhibit 4, example of working smarter, not harder. Casey & Sam flying around Hawaii in a helicopter instead of dealing with winter.

7.  Sage. Sage isn’t just used to ward off evil spirits kids or to clean the air and free it of all those nasty germs that follow you home. It’s also used to remove negative energy from your environment, enhances intuition, and can improve your mood, reducing stress and anxiety. You’re going to need this to destress and lower your anxiety levels after trying to navigate driving or walking the streets of The Woo.

8. Interested in supporting the nutritional well-being of a local turkey? This too has dual purposes. You'd be showing the turkey some love and increasing the nutritional value of the next turkey dinner that lands on your plate. Cicada’s. That lovely insect that makes the cool sounds on a warm summer night. According to a Pennsylvania outdoor columnist, their region can expect an influx of what some refer to as the land lobster, this summer. Fun facts about cicadas in the article include that they are packed with protein and are good eats for other small animals, turkey’s and poultry. Who knew?

9.  What we also didn’t know is that if a turkey dinner isn’t your thing, or if you're thinking, why the hell are we talking about turkey when soon St. Patrick's Day will be upon us and we'll have corned beef on our mind...you could switch things up entirely, join the little buggers and poultry alike, and you too could feast on the land lobster aka cicada as some actually eat these little buggers themselves…and not as a dare or while being a participant on some weird survival reality t.v. show, but eat them to eat them. “People can eat them. I never have, but from what I’ve heard if you fry them up right they taste like lobster, think of them like land lobsters, they have that shellfishy flavor." Michael Skvarla, assistant research professor of arthropod identification at Penn State University (Whipkey, 2025).

And there’s more...people also use them to put on their pizza or in stir-fry dishes with noodles. I find any restaurant in the 02 serving up cicada's as a topping, that pizza joint will definitely go on the list of places I no longer frequent. JB knows what I'm talking about...

10.  Have I piqued your interest? There’s even a cookbook. In case you are so inclined, here’s the link to purchase that book for yourself on Amazon… https://www.amazon.com/Cicada-Cookbook-Chris-Royal/dp/1532863195

And last but not least...hang in there, one month from today is the 1st day of Spring!

Have a great weekend!