Your Weekly Antics Let There Be Light Edition...2-2-2023

According to our fearless leader, Laura Leblanc, yesterday we reached the halfway point between Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. The sun set at 5:01pm on Wednesday and according to accuweather.com it will set again at 5:03pm tonight. Things are looking up people…before we know it, we’ll be basking in the longer sunlit days of summers warmth and sunshine. In the meantime, however, you best bundle up because the sun who remains on sabbatical is not quite ready to heat up the skies. She’s still battling it out with Old Man Winter who will be making an unwelcomed grand reentry with the likes of below zero weather this weekend. Buckle up kids, here’s what I’ve got…

1. Will Punxsutawney Phil work for or against us people? By the time this is published and you're reading it, we'll know if the groundhog did or did not see his shadow. I hate to say it, but Old Man Winter has set him up to fail, making him his fall guy. Would you like to be woken from your cozy warm hibernating slumber and dragged out in to a freezing 25 degree winter morning? I think not, that's no way to start the day. He truly doesn't get the respect he deserves as proven in the documentation of the following conversation had at the Kap house with the youngest Kap kid...

-Groundhog day – what does it even mean? Does someone somewhere just let some feral hog out to see if it gets chased or sees its shadow? What good does that do? Why do we even care? Put that poor hog back in the barn or from wherever it came. It’s February for crying out loud it’s cold- Meredith Kapacziewski, February 1, 2023.

- Put that thing back where it came from or so help me…Mike Wazowski, Monsters Inc. 2006.

And by the way Meredith, it’s a groundhog, not a feral hog. Get it together.

2. June 21st will be the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. I know this doesn’t mean that the actual day will be longer or working hours will be added to our day just because we will be gifted with more day light on that day, but the psychological effects of being told that it is the longest day of the year has already taken its toll. With that said, I am formally requesting that day off as I barely make it through a regular workday with peoples shenanigans, never mind adding time or light or what have you to the middle of the week. You heard it here first Laura Leblanc. I’m getting ahead of the game and putting in for June 21st off. I'm out.

3. Extra daylight, Winter Solstice, Spring Equinox, Groundhog Day...we've got a lot happening and that brings me to our next subject of importance, the full moon. February’s Full Moon, also known as the Snow Moon, will be at its peak at 1:29pm on Sunday, February 5th, which also happens to be the middle Kap kids 21st Birthday. Coincidence? I don't think so. If you see Reaghan Grace this weekend, be sure to wish her a Happy Birthday...she gave herself an early Birthday gift by making the Dean's List. Way to go RG 😊❤️

4. Work and time off. I’d like to formally thank Amy Bullett for giving us an additional ½ hour off per day, I mean week, for our own time to dedicate towards self care and wellness. This will be added to the ½ hour of time we were allotted per day, I mean week, from last year. Grand total…an extra hour to do whatever the hell I want, per day, every work day, on company time. That’s how I interpret it anyway. Thanks Bullett – you’re the best.

5. How will I spend that time you ask? Doing Yoga, or stretching or meditating all while at Breen’s indulging in a delicious greasy cheeseburger. Come on down, I’ll save you a seat.

6. Exhibit 1 – let’s guess, was this selfie taken on a random street in The Woo or New York City? Maybe I combined all those half hours up and took a road trip to NYC for the day…you may never know.

7. Fun fact – if you leave the box you packed up from your old desk prior to the office reconstruction and ignore all the emails and reminders to retrieve that box from the place its been carefully stored during construction, it will eventually find its way back to you. Is it magic? No, no it is not. The person in charge eventually becomes so annoyed with you she just plain gives up and drops that box right off at your desk because she's got stuff to do and is sick of waiting for you. Like I said last week...she's sick of my crap... it works every time. Sorry Mrs. McCrohon - just keeping her on her toes...

8. All this positivity, free company time off, and happiness swirling around, makes me want to share with you some of my favorite and underused words. And no, these do not include my preferred and most used swear words – listen, we all have our vices. Twice this week I was happily surprised to hear three of my favorite words/sayings being used correctly in sentences. One from my long time friend Tyler, another from an announcer on sports radio, the third no one used but it’s one of my favorites so I’ll share it with you anyway… Let’s review…

-Jamoke…stupid person, fool. This was used correctly and appropriately via text by Tyler while referencing Chris and John and was used as such…couple of jamokes…this was used to stress that those two fools, or one fool specifically (John) can’t get their acts together to commit to a day and time to gather with us, contemplate our life's choices and break bread. How have we decided to resolve this? It’s been determined that John is no longer going to be asked when he’s available, he’s going to be taken unwillingly from his home, unannounced, with a sack over his head. This is what happens when you ignore our texts and don’t commit to a plan. Do not feel bad for him…It’s his own damn fault...it’s not like he just met us.

-Flim Flam….nonsensical or insincere talk. I won’t attempt to recall the exact quote from the announcer on sports radio, but this term can be used as such…you can’t flim flam a flim Flammer. One of my all time favorites that can be used in just about any and all situations if you're out and about doing the work of the people.

-Zamboni…ice re-surfacer - is a vehicle or hand-pushed device used to clean and smooth an icy surface ... now this is just a fun word to use and I would imagine unless you are in the ice skating or ice rink business, one would not have many opportunities where this word would be needed. Say it with me now…Zamboni – isn’t that fun? Does the body good, doesn’t it? Should you find yourself in a stressful situation or requiring decompression just say Zamboni - has the same effect as deep breathing and Frank Costanza's tried and true phrase Serenity Now. Trust me on this one.

9. Once again we’ve been told that Tom Brady is retiring. Many say that Brady will stand firm in this decision and stay retired. Clearly he’s not employed by Elder Services of Worcester, because if you put your retirement papers in with us, you don’t actually ever retire for real, it just doesn’t happen. Once you’re employed with Elder Services, you’re in it to win it – you're a lifer and in it for the long haul until you work your way into client-hood. Next time anyone puts in their papers and attempts to tell me they’re done, gone, outta here, see ya…I will not shed a tear or become overly concerned because they always come back. Kind of like Beetlejuice – say their name three times fast and I guarantee they’re back on the payroll by the end of the day…they just can’t help themselves.

10. Look who decided to join the party…I present to you my Paperwhite Bulb. Originally the under achieving bulb of the bunch, lying around free loading sucking up the water and sun provided to him on the windowsill, he was bullied by the other plants in to having a change of heart and deciding to grace us and bloom. Nice to see you Paperwhite friend, glad you could make it.

And last but not least, no matter how things work out for the Groundhog today, show the poor little bugger some respect. He's not a hog, or a feral hog. Poor guy is just a fury rodent trying to do what we all wish we could do - sleep through the rest of the winter.

Have a great weekend!