Farmers Market Coupons, Werewolves & Full Moons Oh My 8-11-22 Edition...

Happy August 11th people...what is August 11th you ask? Who knows...it could be anything. If you follow social media you'll know that every day is named for some event or another. I got to wondering, how many special days there are, so of course I went to google where we get all of our 100% concrete accurate information, and it told me that there are 278 days of the year that social media commemorates and celebrates for just about anything. Come Sunday night when you're contemplating calling in sick on Monday so you can soak up the last dwindling days of summer, be aware that Sunday the 14th is Financial Awareness Day. Take that as a sign that you will be very much financially aware when you're canned for not showing up to work on Monday- get it together and pick your celebratory days wisely. If you do get canned, give John Turner a call, I hear he's starting his own window treatment business...we're givers here at The Antics, always trying to keep our readers in the know. For more info on this nonsense, check this out...

https://insense.pro/blog/social-media-holidays#title_8

1. If I were in charge of naming and picking days for the world wide webs social media days, I would be sure to designate one of the early days in August for Jim Burns. It’s Jim Burns favorite time of year again folks…it’s Farmers Marker Coupon Season. For anyone who does not work at Elder Services and does not have a client who participates in the Home Delivered Meal Program, I’m here to inform you that this is, by far, the most coveted time of year. People come from far and wide throughout our service area after waiting all year on pins and needles to go to the various sites in the city where Jim Burns himself is present, to hand out said coupons. Now, if someone at The Antics read the emails correctly and in order, we would have been able to tell you last week that distribution days were this week on 8/9, 8/10 and 8/11. Seeing as we do things ass backwards here, it looks like that train already left the station and now you’re going to have to wait until next year to see in person, one of our Nutrition Departments finest. Or, you can get one of your favorite elders to call Burns directly to try to flim flam him out of additional booklets and make the trip to the office to retrieve said Willie Wonka -Golden - ticket - like coupons on your elders behalf...just an idea.

2. Rather than focus on useless made up holidays, unless of course we start a petition to get the Farmers Market Coupons days acknowledged on next years calendar, I'd much rather focus my time on knowing the schedule of the full moons. Here me now, the full moon is no joke. If you, my fearless readers are skeptical of this fact, please feel free to request to spend some time with your friendly neighborhood social worker as she navigates her way through the community conducting home visits during a full moon week. Or, work in retail, or do anything that entails you working directly with the public. Working with the public at any capacity during a full moon could make you re think your life choices. You too will be a believer, trust me.

3. Has work been a little crazy? Did it feel like you had already worked a full week by Monday afternoon? Is everyone who’s called you made absolutely no sense at all? You guessed it, it is in fact a full moon this week and not just any full moon, but the last supermoon of the year. According to The Farmer’s Almanac, The Sturgeon moon, also referred to as the Great Corn Moon or the Grain Moon, got its name from the Sturgeon Fish of the Great Lakes that were caught way back in the day during this time of the summer. This supermoon will share the night sky with the ongoing Perseid meteor shower, likely making it harder to see shooting stars. I would normally encourage you to go outside and look skyward to take in this celestial event, but if you do, you’ll see clouds and rain. Why? Because it's cloudy today and we're due for some rain...with any luck, we'll finally get the rain that meteorologists have been predicting.

4. Weather, rain, full moons, thunderstorms...if I ran to the basement every time the local weatherman told me a thunderstorm was coming, I'd be hiding in my basement or at the back of my closet with Pot Belly Pig Dog every day this summer. Kind of like winter storms - all hype, then nothing.

5. Last week driving in to Boston we did actually run in to one of the predicted thunderstorms. The predictions and reports from our local news as well as the alerts on our phones went ignored, because like the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf, we've stopped listening to these warnings because 9 out of 10 times this summer nothing's come of them. I'll tell you what happened this time...we didn't heed the advice of the various dings and bells and whistles that went off on our phones alerting us to a potential weather emergency, therefore, we drove right in to the middle of torrential rains, flooding and a whopper of a thunderstorm on the Mass Pike which is always a good time. My take away from this? No, not that I should pay more attention to the weather advice given to me by the various weather apps on my phone, but that much like the first snow fall in winter, every moron on the road was driving as if they've never seen rain before in their lives. I know we've been in a drought, but seriously? Fun fact - if it's raining, get off your damn phone and turn on your windshield wipers...It's amazing how much one can see once you've cleared the precipitation from your view of the road...idiots.

6. And with full moons and bizarre happenings, I got a call that apparently there was a werewolf siting up in the 05. First rats, now werewolves, or maybe the caller saw an exceptionally large rat and assumed it was a werewolf, who knows. How do I know this? I can’t reveal my sources. What I can tell you is this – he may or may not have been seen riding a bike through the Dunkin Donuts drive -thru. Do I have video or picture proof of this? Of course not. Don’t kill the messenger, I’m passing a long what was passed along to me. And no, this was not fact checked, just another fun filled day in the Protective Services Department at Elder Services.

7. Maybe it’s the heat, perhaps the full moon, or both - In case you hadn’t guessed by the contents of #6 it’s been a weird week, I’m tired and I’m done. Exhibit 1, an oldie but a goodie that hangs on my soon to be dismantled cube wall and still stands true to this day. Please note the additional sticky note added by none other than Walter Duffy...doesn't matter that I'm calling him out for messing with my desk, he doesn't read The Antics, so he'll never know...

8. “Lisa, it’s so nice to see you - I thought you were dead”….Gramma Edie, 8/8/2022

9. Little known fact. Ingredients involved in an order of Nacho's generally includes tortilla chips, covered in jalapeno's, onions, black olives, scallions, perhaps chicken or chili, beans, salsa, sour cream and guacamole all smothered in cheese. If you're thinking you should've ordered those nacho's without the beans, the chili, the jalapeno's, the onions and scallions, you will be placing an order of Sue Miller's perfect nacho. Why add all the other stuff when you can just have chips smothered in cheese? This is not Dr. Jimmy approved.

10. When running in to someone you haven't seen in awhile here's what I would suggest you don't say to them..."Hey, I didn't recognize you...you don't look as old as I remember you looking the last time I saw you..." Awesome, thanks. Keep it moving pal - I wasn't thrilled to see you either.

And last but not least - should you run in to the werewolf who has taken to the streets of the Woo howling at the full moon while trying to use his Farmers Market coupons at the Dunkins drive thru, snap a picture. We'll put it in The Antics next week.

Have a great weekend!