Your Weekly Pandemic Antics Veterans Day Week Edition...(11-12-2020)

I told you it was too early for the heat to go on...but who am I to say to Al “ I told you so…” Even if that is my right as he was the first to cave and I was not. Windows have been open, fan running and I was back out on the deck. Life’s been good at 65-70 degrees here on Asbury Road. Hope we all enjoyed it…may have been our last hoorah…speaking of which, I hope you all thanked a Veteran for their service this week. (“hoorah”, “hooyah”, “oorah” is a battle cry common in the US Marine Corps since the mid-20th century. It is comparable to hooah in the US Army and hooyah in the US Navy and US Coast Guard. It is most commonly used to respond to a verbal greeting or as an expression of enthusiasm. ). Here’s what I got….

1. With Veterans day this week, came a day off from school. Spent some time with my nieces, which is always fun because one in particular gives my brother a run for his money, and that’s like snow on Christmas morning for me. She tells me remote learning is going well all except her dance class. I ask her why… “Auntie, I can’t be expected to hop around and dance in my limited work space, I’m just too tall…you think Dad will give me a note?” In her defense, the kid is 14 yrs old, 6 feet tall and still growing. And, she’s my brothers kid, so she’s got an answer for everything.

2. Niece #2 alerted me earlier in the week that Grammy yet again, had her car back at the garage. Said garage is way across the city, and those assisting her in car drop offs and pick ups are sick of that ride. At this rate 15 yr old niece #2 will have her license and her own car by the time Sue Miller has her car fixed and then niece #2 can drive Grammy to and from the garage. #grammy’sdon’tuber

3. Talking about Sue Miller and her Grandkids. I think it’s safe to say that they did not inherit their height from all 5 feet of her Leprechaun self. Lucky for them, she did not pass down her elf like genes and they will not be horizontally challenged like the rest of us.

4. And again with height…just when I think the 13 year old is starting to turn all “teenager-ie” on me because she stayed in bed until 11:30 on her day off….when she did decide to get out of bed she announced that she felt like she grew taller. To humor her, I measured her as we’ve been doing since the kids were little, on the doorframe. No lie…the kid has grown 3 inches since March. Maybe she did grow over night?

5. Leaves. They’re everywhere. On the ground, on the roof, in the driveways, in the yard, in the streets, and now mountain high out in front of our houses because you guessed it, Leaf Blowing Joe was taking back the street in full force looking like a Ghostbuster with his leaf blower. Sadly, it’s like spitting in to the wind, they keep falling kids. And no sign of stopping any time soon. Poor Leaf Blowing Joe. His job keeping Asbury Road safe and free of debris is never done.

6. While Leaf Blowing Joe and Al were taking back the street, it was Spa Day on Asbury Road. Pot Belly Pig Dog was my first and only victim, because let’s admit it, she’s not the smartest one in the pack and is easily lured by any snack offered. She received her bath but refused her blow dry - so banished to the deck she went where she sulked and dried her layered lab coated self until she was dry enough to be allowed back inside the house. She was a disgruntled Pot Belly Pig. Please see exhibit #1

7. Mask wearing….hope you’re still doing it folks. Have any of you started to color coordinate your mask with your outfits? Admit it…when you do have to go in to the office, you know there’s been a time or two when you’ve thought, ugh, this mask totally doesn’t match my outfit. Admit it Sean. ;)

8. Alas, the Holidays are upon us and will certainly look different this year. Let’s look on the bright side of this. All those years you’ve been looking for an excuse not to go to Aunt Edna and Uncle Ned’s but didn’t have an excuse good enough that wouldn’t spark a family feud? Now you have one backed by Governor Baker. You can just tell Aunt Edna, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think I made the cut…”

9. Or…..you can attend your festive Thanksgiving feast and mess with your relatives. This I think is the far better option, because let’s face it, there’s nothing worth watching on tv and we’re all starved for socialization and entertainment. Pick your most favorite crazy relative, dead or alive. Get a custom made face mask with this relatives face on it and don’t tell anyone, just put it on. Sit back and watch their reaction. #auntieginnaforevahhhhhh

10. Thanksgiving and holidays and Christmas brings me to that dam Elf on the Shelf. For all of you good parents out there who occasionally forget to move that Elf or he accidentally gets eaten by your dog, I’ve got the solution. Send your kiddo’s a letter from the Elf saying that the North Pole has been quarantined, therefore their Elf will be absent for 14 days. This will give you time to order another one on Amazon should he go missing or destroyed, or cancel moving that Elf around all together.

11. And for your bonus this week kids…don’t make yourselves crazy over the leaves, and raking, and leaf blowing, and yard clean up. There was an article out recently that stated that raking up and disposing of all those leaves is messing with the eco system and God forbid we upset the army of Chipmunks and Squirrels. All that hard work and then your yard becomes a magnet for those stray leaves from the non rakers yards anyway, because that’s just how it goes. We’ve got bigger things to worry about people, so for now, sit outside and watch them fall.

Have a good weekend!