Your Weekly Pandemic Antics the Vaccine is Finally Here Edition…(1/28/21)

Your Weekly Pandemic Antics the Vaccine is Finally Here Edition….

The fun continues here in the hood pandemic style. Every single day is something new. I’m happy to still be on the upper side of the dirt and won’t complain, but still feel the need to share the on- going happenings and shenanigans. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. First and foremost, you heard right kids…THE LEGEND is back…The Legend, a.k.a Leah Hazard Robinson, is temporarily retiring from retirement. As Meri said, she’s been pulled back, like Gronk, from retirement AGAIN. She is going to single handedly get the state and their COVID vaccine site straightened out and save all our elders. This should surprise no one.

2. With the above said, I’m sad not to be sitting next to Leah during her part time stint assisting with these calls…anyone who’s ever worked with Leah knows that listening to Leah while she’s on the phone is better than watching and listening to T.V. We all know someone is going to end up on the other end of those calls crying, rightfully so, and it’s not going to be Leah or our elders.

3. Getting the job done and setting people straight. Again, please see the above.

4. With a house full of kids, comes the over use of showers. The time these kids spend in the shower, and the amount of showers taken, make my husband crazy. You get in and you get out. He could care less about ones hair treatment routine, conditioning, special shampoo, he doesn’t care. From the mouth of the youngest Kapacziewski, “of course he takes two minute showers, he barely has hair…3 in 1 shampoo and he’s out…” Once again, tough crowd here in the hood living with teenage girls. The man will never learn. At this point, I can’t even feel bad for him. Dad = Human Shield in a Rock Fight.

5. Expedition Big Foot…show on The Travel Channel. Channel surfing the other night we ran across this gem. Meri was an avid Big Foot believer back in the day and loved the show Chasing Big Foot so I was surprised to hear her say, “I hate to tell these nerds, but there’s no such thing as Big Foot." The middle kid who claims to tune out and never listen to a word we say, quickly responds…. “oh yeah Meri, tell that to your 6 year old self…” Apparently the now teenager is far too cool for Big Foot…she used to be his biggest fan.

6. Stress baking. That’s what’s happening here. Cookies have been going out of this house like I’m running a sweat shop full of Keebler Elves being held against their will. I know it’s not normal to go through the amount of flour I’ve gone through, but quite honestly, what else is there to do. The more free time I have the more trouble I get in to, so eat up.

7. Speaking of baking…I’ve been known to make

drop offs of said baked goods, sometimes resembling a covert operation. You want cookies and you don’t want your spouse or kids to know about it? Lemme know, we can work something out. However, the pandemic has made me lazy and looks like I’ve let my undercover skills slip a bit at the expense of Snow Blower Joe…this was not my best work when hiding a batch of peanut butter cookies under Joe’s grill cover. Please see exhibit #1

8. Gramma Edie…had a call with the Activities Director today because apparently Edies mad at me because I haven’t been to visit, because as we all know, the pandemic and COVID restrictions don’t apply to her. I set up a facetime call with the help of said activities director, who in my opinion, is grossly underpaid. Edie talking at the screen of the phone, “did you bring brandy?” No Gram I didn’t, I’m not at the nursing home, I’m on the phone. “Well I don’t have time for this. Try me another day.” Click. And that was that, my usefulness has ended.

9. Sue Miller. Just because COVID has halted her weekly bowling league doesn’t mean she’s not still keeping track of her bowling peeps. With that said, who do you think has been put in charge of getting that crew all signed up for their COVID vaccinations? You guessed right…Robyn Foley. That’s exactly who I’ve referred them all too. Why you ask? I have no good reason for you, she was the first name that popped in to my head…I buckled under pressure…those ladies scare me.

10. I’ve been sharing the Weekly Antics with my childhood best friend Mike Margolis. Should I be offended that his text to me last week in response to the antics was “You. Are. Warped.” Nope, just a regular day my friend. He’s just crabby because not only am I still funnier than he is, I’m just saying what the rest of you are thinking. That’s right Margolis, I went there. No one will ever mistake me for Amanda Gorman.

11. And last but not least…Pot Belly Pig Dog. Well kids, I think she’s depressed. Her buddy Al is no longer working from home and returned to his office this week. ( right about here is where that majestic music would be heard signaling the glory of this event if this were a tv special…) She learned the hard way on Monday afternoon that unlike Al, I will not put up with her nonsense. Her fence hopping, picket breaking, counter surfing,

Carl chasing, Dr. Gonzales harassing self was banished from the yard. That’s right Pot Belly, I’m the Alpha Dog and I have rules. Don’t mess with me.

Have a great weekend! l