Your Weekly Pandemic Antics "The Sun in the Sea of the Storm" Edition….5-27-2021

Let me just start this weeks antics by crying Uncle. It's been a crazy one and don't try to deny it. The week started out off the rails right outta the gate, and you guessed it, I'm not only blaming the over- all incompetence and inability of those we are surrounded by to do their jobs, but also this full Super Flower Blood Moon. I'm trying to speak of her with respect in hopes she'll start cutting us some slack. Blame the moon or not, I was reminded by a wise co worker/knower of all things ESW, that if those we dealt with actually did their jobs we wouldn't have ours. True, but it's been one of those weeks where you find yourself running from home visits mumbling under your breath that just once you'd like to work your way out of your job. Now that I got that outta my system, here's what I've got...

1. Ok, so pay attention...it was the start of softball tournament season last weekend, and with that is a plethora of material that just wouldn’t be fair to keep to myself. Sometimes it’s criminal, the amount of material I’m provided by my village and for a fleeting moment I think I may be taking advantage. This of course lasts about 2.5 seconds before I come to my senses and decide to press on and say to myself, what’s another week of exploiting my friends and co workers?

1. Volunteers. Youth sports wouldn’t run without them. Making the schedules and organizing the tournaments. The countless sweaty hours mowing and grooming the fields. Watering the infield to keep the dust from flying. Doing the lines, taking special care to make sure the batters box and foul lines are just so. “If you don’t like how things are getting done, then volunteer and do it yourself.” (or something like that, Ryan Francis circa forever ago…) Next time it’s 90 something degrees out and you see your volunteer doing the foul lines for game three on day one, make sure that poor bastard has some water… and then, “ just say thank you to the volunteer….” (more accurate quote by Ryan Francis…) or as Mike Erlich puts it, "what the hell is that???" please see exhibit 1.

2. You know it’s going to be a fabulous tournament weekend when 1. Coach Matt’s early, 2. He’s got his play list ready, 3. When he not only has that play list ready, but laminated…he means business and is not messing around. And it’s a good thing it was laminated folks, because it was hot, and gross, and sweaty and dirty out there all weekend. Please see exhibit 2, said play list safely tucked into the back of Coach Matt’s pants. And no, I’m not making fun of him, I think this is genius, because who wants a sweaty piece of paper stuck down the back of their shorts for 8 hours in 95 degree heat…please see exhibit 2

3. The 3rd base foul line deserves more than one mention this week kids. It was, is and will hopefully not always be, Meri’s nemesis. Her distain and disgust for this area of the softball field started long before the line debacle that lead to the 3rd base lines resemblance of the S Curve on Rte. 290. Hit after hit after hit that kid battled until she was eventually walked. I’m sorry to report that the third base line beat the youngest Kap kid all weekend. Mr. Neville…we’ll see you at 4pm this afternoon. See exhibit 3, just a tid bit of Meri’s fight with the 3rd base foul line.

4. I haven't mentioned the woodland creatures lately, and feel that I am overdue. While traveling far out of the Woo on home visits this week to Barre and Oakham and Gilbertville, you'd think it would have been me who had a run in with nature, but no, it was Al. While traveling down Rte 290, he almost took out a poor unsuspecting woodchuck who clearly had no idea he's living in the Woo. Listen up buddy, it's frowned upon to play in traffic here, just ask the turkeys. It doesn't end well.

5. Traffic. Marshall has declared that should he ever need to go somewhere ever again before 5am, he's asking Dave Abraham or Chad Corporale because I "drive like a maniac when no one else is on the road..." He quickly changed that to, "you drive like a lunatic all the time..." Yet he still gets in the car with me, go figure.

6. How do we know all are having fun on tournament weekends? When we hear things from Coach Matt such as... “yeah, yeah, don’t listen to me”, or “who needs a 1st base coach when you’re doing whatevahhh you want anyway???" “ That better be the best pitch you’ve ever seen Meri if you’re swinging at it…”… this my friends is just a small sample of all of Coach Matt’s words of wisdom throughout tournament weekends.

7. Let's talk about Sue Miller. It Doesn't matter how old we get, or what we may do for a profession, she's calling you the name she knew you as when you were a kid. For example, Dr. Dimitrios Angelis. As far as Sue Miller's concerned, his name is Jimmy. Not Jim, not Dimitrios, (because that's too hard to pronounce..), not Dr. Angelis. Just Jimmy, or Dr. Jimmy and that’s only if she's feeling it. She doesn't care how many degrees you have or how many letters at the end of your name. If she knew you as Jimmy when you were a kid, you're Jimmy now. Thanks Dr. Jimmy for being in Sue Miller's village.

8. Never under estimate this Village that you have. What once was the phone tree now amped up a notch to a text tree. You’re freaking out and you need something and can't quite make heads or tails of things? Text your cousin, and your brother and your buddies and your cousins cousins, and they'll band together and help you figure it out. I texted Terry who made me think to text Kara. Kara texted Kathleen, who texted Yo, who texted Jimmy. I texted Helen and texted Kelly and texted Colleen. Problems solved people. Don't be dumb - reach out and rely on your people. That's how we get things done.

9. Every once in awhile someone pops up unexpected from your village with a little gem you didn't even realize was happening and that you needed. Not only is Erlich a Defense attorney whom I've had on retainer bribing him with cookies since 2012, but he is also an amateur photographer, facetime caller, and has secured his spot on Sue Millers favorites list right there with Dr. Jimmy and Yosef. Please see exhibit 4, screen shot of Erlich's facetime call so we could see Meri at bat. Check out Grammy on the lower left of this picture...not really sure what she was planning to do with that wad of cash in her hands...I'm thinking she too has him on retainer, or was trying to bribe him in to taking her to play KENO.

10. These are our supahhhhh fans. In my opinion, they've earned this title and the right to do whatever they want, whenever they want every tournament because these four are the younger siblings of girls on the team. They‘re dragged from field to field from o- dark- hundred until way past dinner time most weekends and do so like champs. If they have to suffer through game after game in the heat and the sun, covered in sunscreen that’s then layered in dirt, they've earned the right to move as many piles of dirt as they'd like from one side of the dugout to the other, eat whatever sugar they can find and get as dirty as they‘d like. It’s like a right of passage when you’re the younger sibling of a travel ball player. And you never hear a peep out of them - they’re far too busy playing and keeping the rest of us entertained.

11. And last but not least, where did I get the title of this weeks antics you ask? Coach Scott. Coach Scott is the dugouts voice of reason. He may be the quiet one who doesn't say much, but when he does you better be listening...because it's usually epic. Just when you think he's not paying attention he responds to one of Coach Matt's inspirational words of wisdom by nonchalantly adding " Matt, the sun in the sea of the storm..."

And here's a bonus to our last but not least, "Loose lips sink ships..." Bryce Miller 5-18-2021 - that kid's a vault.

Have a great weekend!!!