Your Weekly Pandemic Antics the End of the Short Week After Labor Day Weekend Edition...(9-11-20)

Your Weekly Pandemic Antics the end of the short week after Labor Day weekend…

It was a short week this week kids, I hope it went by fast for you…I forgot yesterday was Thursday, so your weekly pandemic antics are a day late. I’m sure you were all sitting on the edge of your seats waiting…

1. Ears…my kids are grown. One would think that gone are the days of sleepless nights due to ear infections…well not when you have the pot belly pig dog. That’s right folks, it’s been awhile since we’ve had a lab in this house, and all that snorting and rooting around in the yard and playing in water has caught up to her…poor little pig, she’s not happy.

2. Pot Belly’s lost more weight and has become super stealth…she can now jump the fence and did so yesterday. She was in hot pursuit of my middle kid who left for a walk without her. I quickly grilled her up a cheeseburger because I am not having that. My days of chasing dogs are over. The only time you’ll see me running is from the police or from a fire, and not necessarily in that order.

3. If my kids ask who my favorite kid is out of all of them, I’m going to tell them Kevin. Now some of you may be asking yourselves, she has a kid named Kevin? No, no I do not. Kevin is our neighbor, the honorary 4th Kapacziewski kid. I like him best because he hasn’t done anything to aggravate me or cause me trouble this summer.

4. Bucket List … sky diving. Don’t be ridiculous, this will not be me. I’m heading to Halifax this weekend to watch a friend check this item off her bucket list. I’m no fool, I’ve seen LOST. The only time you’ll see me falling from a plane is if I’ve been pushed, or ejected.

5. Homeschooling/remote learning…however you wanna spin it. Good luck and God speed…we’ll be in full remote mode next week. I am no teacher and can barely hold myself together, now I’m in charge of my kids education…

6. Spilled coffee … no way to start the day.

7. Broken home printer…also not helping my cause.

8. Hmmm…we’ve been home what, 6 months? It finally took me this long to answer the question of “what’s for dinner?” with “Whatever you’re cooking…”

9. Rufus the Rabbit…yes, he continues to be unearthed – four times now actually – please keep in mind that when it’s my time and I take the dirt nap no one should feel the need to pray over me on every unearthing occasion…just put me back and get the job done. Rufus on the other hand has had about 4 full funerals here on Asbury Road since his untimely demise.

10. With the holiday this week trash day was one day delayed. You would’ve thought it was Christmas around here…the dogs were missing their weekly stand- off with the trash guys yesterday and certainly made up for it today…they defend nothing in this house or any one of us, but get all worked up when their trash is being stolen. #myneighborshateme

11. And for your bonus this week kids…keep it moving. Enjoy the nice weather while we have it and get the hell outside. Be kind to your neighbors. You know those people that you see at the grocery store or out on a walk and are wearing their masks and they think they’re invisible and are now super anti social? You know the ones…don’t let them get to you. Go about your business and do you. It’s not our fault that we’re all awesome and everyone else sucks.

Have a great weekend!