Your Weekly Pandemic Antics "Sometime in June" Edition...(6-18-20)

Second Installment to “Sometime in June Edition” of your Weekly Pandemic Antics 6/18/2020

Well it’s a bonus week kids…here you go!!!!

1. Take caution when purchasing items from the on line yard sale sites…you never know who you’re going to run in to. You all know me well enough and the small world in which I live…I’m sure you can figure out exactly what happened. #changinglivesalldaylong

2. Having an empty unoccupied desk in your cube comes in good use during a pandemic. We were told to clear off our desks, it wasn’t clear if I HAD to take my boxed stuff home, or throw it away, or I don’t know, hide it in that extra desk in my cube….I may have taken advantage of the lack of specifics. So if anyone asks just tell them, yup, someone must be sitting in the extra desk in Lisa’s cube because all their crap is there. I might go one step further and place a name tag right outside that desk on the cube wall. I know, you’re all jealous, go ahead and say it… I AM A MASTERMIND.

3. What I took from in service…. “lunch will be cancelled until further notice…”

4. Ok, I take that back…here’s what else I took….I am going to do my best to avoid being Ground Zero.

5. My question for next in service… “when we get back to being able to do home visits, can we opt to wear wet suits instead of those gown things?” Just to change it up every once in a while. Also, anyone wanna start a pool to guess when our employees will actually have to be told to wear “appropriate” masks, as in, no mask with offending statements, designs or logos on them? (admit it…you all just thought for a second, a.) are my masks made of inappropriate designs/logo material? b). should I wear said mask with potential offending signage into the office just to try to get away with it, c.) which one of my co workers is going to test the waters just to see how long it takes to be called out on it….and d.) will there be anyone in the office to care or notice as we’ll be in there like one employee at a time…(well that just took the fun out of it…)

6. Dog update – Harley has moved on from chipmunks and squirrels… ( Fat Bastard Freddy lives to see another week….) and is now focused on the outside rabbit who has taken up residence in our yard. She sits in the front window all day and all night. She’s exhausted, it’s a lot of work keeping us safe from the wildlife. Please see exhibits #1 & #2. ( P.S. Clearly she isn’t too bright because we have a house rabbit who lives INSIDE. Would be much easier for her to hunt the “inside” rabbit instead of random outside rabbit… this may be why her Plott Hound self ended up in rescue in the first place, and not in some field doing her job as a HUNTING DOG.)

7. If you get any reports in Barre and you think you should venture out…do so on a Thursday or Friday - In your wet suits. Stone Cow Brewery’s open. It’s a Pandemic…no one’s gonna question how you’re dressed.

8. PSA…I feel that all those times I may or may not have peed in the woods in the early 90’s is a skill that may now be useful … kind of like riding a bike. You may not have had to use this skill in a while, but it comes right back to you. So if you do go on a visit out in the sticks and you can’t use the local dunkin donuts for a bathroom break due to COVID restrictions, or fears, feel free to revert back to your former college aged selves. It worked then, it’ll work now. Avoid poison ivy. And also, remember unlike in the early 90’s you can now be arrested and wind up on the sex offender list for indecent exposure for peeing in public. Do with this info as you will kids. You’re welcome. (AIC ’93…who said I didn’t learn anything in college ).

9. There you have it Phil…we’ve heard it first hand from the higher-ups…I can keep my stuff dating back to 1999 hanging on my walls!!! Giddy up.

10. AND….be kind to Mary Parenteau…she has had the daunting task of fridge clean out stolen from her due to issues listed in #3. All your moldy nasty food will have to remain in your own refrigerators. Here’s a good time to point out, we all know that some off you still have salad dressings and condiments, and God help us probably cheese, dating back to the early 2000’s in your refrigerators. I don’t want to commit her to anything, but I bet Parenteau would take a trip to your house to take care of all of your expired food and fridge clean out needs…she’s not just the Program Director after all. She’s been managing my entire life since 1995 (true story.)

11. And for your bonus…NO, we can’t have coffee makers in our cubes. NO, we can’t have mini fridges to keep our lunches, snacks (beer) cold in our cubes. (someone may have private messaged Bullett during in service just to clarify…) And NO, we’re not all gonna die if we can’t have food that requires refrigeration or a microwave in the 7.5 hour work day, or 5 hour, or 1 hour, or no hour, because going in to the office will be optional. People, we WILL NOT STARVE. You’ll be okay. No need to look in to ordering non-perishable astronaut type meals from amazon as of yet. But should any of you choose to go that route, I volunteer to look in to that option for you. I am running out of new and interesting ways to exploit amazon prime, as you all know I like to do so on a daily basis. CARRY ON.