Your Weekly Pandemic Antics Martin Luther King Weekend Edition... (1/14/21)

Your Weekly Pandemic Antics Martin Luther King Weekend Edition…

Well kids, I’m here to tell you that we are already halfway through the month of January and have a long weekend coming up thanks to Martin Luther King, who I am sure is frowning down upon us after last weeks debacle on the Capitol and general state of the country. Let’s try to bring some humanity back in to the craziness that is now our everyday lives, and for crying out loud, do something good for someone this weekend. It doesn’t have to be huge, or grand, or for all to see, just for you…it’ll make you feel better. If you do something nice, maybe you’ll prompt someone else to be a halfway decent human being and less shmuck-like. Just saying. Here’s what I’ve got….

1. It’s come to my attention folks that our one and only Sean, a.k.a. Vanilla Ice, has on an ongoing basis, been mistaken as none other than the Nutrition Departments finest, Allen. Let me be the first to say that Sean has one, and I mean only one, alternate identity and that is Vanilla Ice. Allen is Allen, and if need-be, to make things easier for you, I’ll come up with a nickname for him. Sean is Sean, or Vanilla, or Ice for short. Pick one. Get it together people.

2. Mis-identity and flying under the radar. Words to live by. I’ll answer to just about anything, especially at work, because let’s face it – if they get your name wrong, you can’t be held accountable. Why do you think never once have I corrected anyone when they’re referred to me, in writing, as “Lisa Kay”. This is how you take advantage of the fact that no one in their right mind wants to be bothered figuring out how to spell my last name correctly.

3. Last names, married, love and all that business…don’t think that at least 10 times a day I don’t contemplate legally changing my name back to Miller. Nothing against Al, but I was gifted with one of the easiest last names ever…sometimes even I have to write it down as I’m spelling it so I get it right.

4. Now that we have another Lisa Miller working at ESW, looks like I’m stuck with Kapacziewski. Please note…I am the original Lisa Miller…Good Going Amy Bullett. Maybe I ran over your trash bin after all….

5. My ongoing silent war and disdain towards the US Postal Service continues. Nothing against the mail carriers, they are fabulous, doing the work of the people, and it’s not their fault. Still waiting on the nieces Christmas Gifts I ordered at the end of November. They’ve been “in transit” since November 28th. At this rate I’ve forgotten what I ordered, and with all the hype, it better be something good.

6. If I put “in transit” on the “ in and out board” at work, and kept that status for like a month, do you think anyone would notice I’m missing and come looking for me?

7. Aliens - seems to be an uptick in talk about sightings of aliens, UFO’s, and other unidentifiable type things. I’m here to tell you people that I have single handedly discovered and solved the mystery that has been the US Postal Service. It’s aliens. They probably have a ship full of our missing Christmas packages. They have no faith in our pea sized brains due to the shenanigans we have going on down here on Earth and figure we must be stupid enough to believe them when they say, “in transit”. You’re welcome.

8. I’m pretty sure with all this talk about aliens and under-cover covert operations, alternate identities, name changing and flying under the radar has earned me an FBI file. Everyone’s gotta be wanted for something…

9. Speaking of undercover…Kenny. Have you all been wondering about him? Kenny the cat is living large next door despite his Mom Jen not following the rules set forth and established for flashlight alerts. Kenny has figured out how to pull up the blinds and he appreciates my flashlight efforts. Remy…not so much. If I could teach Kenny how to mess with Joe’s universal remote to the TV, he would, in fact, be the best cat ever.

10. Pot Belly…she successfully scared away Dr. so-and-so who shall not be named, and his little dogs earlier this week. Broke two pickets in the fence while doing so. I’d love to yell at her for it, but as I said last week, she has been promoted to favorite dog status because as long as she’s breaking the fence, Al’s outside fixing it, keeping him out of my hair.

11. And last but not least….back to my suspected FBI file…looks like they’ve got a file on me after all…as soon as I wrote #’s 7 & 8, my packages mysteriously arrived from the US Postal Service. Coincidence? I think not.

Have a great weekend!