Your Weekly Pandemic Antics Hell in a Hand Basket Edition...(10-15-2020)

Your Weekly Pandemic Antics Hell in a Hand Basket Edition…

Okay kids, I’m going off the beaten path a bit. Thought it’s about time I share some words of wisdom from some wise old ladies I’ve been fortunate enough to have in my life…never repeat I said “wise” or “old”, I will deny both. Here we go…

1. Get a good job and work. Don’t rely on your partner or anyone else to support you - if something happens, you want to be able to support yourself and have your own money. Things happen and you don’t want to be trapped or on the dole. Learn how to take care of yourself, manage your finances, and pay your bills. Be self- reliant. Always have a secret stash.

2. Don’t expect something for nothing, there’s always a catch. You may not see a catch now, but believe you me, there’s always a catch.

3. Be neat. Be clean. Be organized. When you feel like letting things go, remember what a pain in the ass your kids are going to think you are when you’re dead and you left the mess for them to clean up. This goes for material things, personal affairs and relationships.

4. Minimize. If you haven’t used it in a year and it’s sitting around for a special occasion, donate it. It’s collecting dust, you’re tripping over it, and you’re never bringing it up from the cellar. If it’s not worth donating, toss it. Just because people are poor, doesn’t mean they want your junk.

5. Waste. Don’t take more than you need or what you can use. If you’ve over cooked something, freeze it for another day or find a neighbor who’s alone who could use a hot meal. DO NOT throw it away.

6. Money. It’s nice to save it, but for crying out loud, you’re not taking it with you. If you’ve done a good job, your kids are okay and won’t need it - it would be nice to leave it for them, but if your job’s done right, they won’t need your money. Use it to take care of yourself so you don’t make them crazy...if there’s any left over, it’ll be a nice surprise for them.

7. Life isn’t fair, get used to it. Sitting around feeling bad for yourself is not going to solve your problems, be good for you, or anyone else. Do something to change things and make it better. Don’t be a whiner, it’s not a good look.

8. Don’t worry so much about what other people think and stop being so hard on yourself. Remember that the world is full of people who are going to tell you you’re an asshole, so stop telling yourself. Whenever someone tells you that you’re no good, or unworthy, remember who you are, where you came from, and where you’re going. You’re in charge of what you’re doing with your life. You want to be an asshole, go for it, but we all know you’re better than that.

9. You see something that needs fixing, don’t wait for someone else to do it. If you can’t figure out how to do it yourself, find someone else who can. And this doesn’t always pertain to fixing the kitchen sink or changing a tire.

10. All you need is 6. 6 friends. 6 pall bearers. If you’re lucky enough to have 6 friends in your life by the time you die, you’re one of the lucky ones.

11. Be the reason someone’s glad they got up and left the house this morning. The world out there is tough, don’t make it worse. Everyone’s got something, everyone’s got a story. If you can’t find a way to make it better, find someone who can, or get out of the way and keep your mouth shut. Don’t be a jerk.

12. If someone is talking behind your back and saying hurtful things about you that means they don’t have time to do the same to someone else. That person being spared may be less fortunate, weaker than you, or unable to handle it. See the bigger picture. Sometimes you gotta take one for the team.

13. Learn how to drive a stick. It’s a lost art and you never know when you may find yourself in a situation you’ll be happy you know how to drive one.

14. It’s ok to be sad, angry, frustrated and to cry every once in a while, it’s good for you - as long as you don’t wallow in it too long and you turn yourself around.

15. Now and then it’ll seem like the world’s gone to hell in a hand basket. When that happens, look around for the good people trying to fix and improve things. If you can’t find them, be one of those people for someone else.

And for your bonus…. You accomplish a lot when you get out of your own way.

Credits: Sue Miller, Ginna McCart, Marie Donahue, Sandy Kirkorian