Your Weekly Antics - Uncle Jimmy Edition...12-23-2021

Well kids, it’s been a struggle this week – we try to keep it light here at The Antics, but this week has been tough. Originally I was planning on airing my grievances as this weeks Antics falls on December 23rd, which for you Seinfeld fans out there, you know today is Festivus. But, things happen, plans change and sometimes it's just not the right time, that's just how life is. This week I’m going to share with you a little piece of Pa who we lost earlier this week. He wasn't a huge talker, but his actions spoke louder than his words anyway. When he did decide to share a word you paid attention and you listened. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. Everyone needs an Uncle who gets that you’re not a bad kid just because you don’t know how to keep your mouth shut. Just because you spend all of 7th and 8th grade earning F’s in Conduct and Effort doesn’t make you a bad person and doesn’t mean you won't amount to anything. It just means you need all that energy and wise – assery redirected in a more productive way to be of use to people. That one day that smart ass mouth of yours may be honed, perfected and become your craft. To use that energy and all those words towards helping people, as opposed to torturing them like you did your Parents and all of your middle school teachers who clearly didn’t understand you - Uncle Jimmy was that guy, he saw that and got it.

2. Everyone needs an Uncle who will save you from your Aunt Ginna every Saturday because you’ve been grounded for your entire life due to the above, among other things. Maybe you accidentally threw a softball through the porch chalise window, sideswiped your Aunts Oldsmobile with your 10 speed bike, came in after the street lights were on, or accidentally put a hole in the kitchen wall throwing a pan at your brothers head – Uncle Jimmy never made the Big D grocery store on Mill Street look so good when he’d pick me up on Saturday mornings to go grocery shopping with him for my few hours of freedom– saving me from Ginna and any future transgressions. He was my one and only connection to the outside world. I’m not sure I ever thanked him for that.

3. Everyone needs an Uncle who will be your Coach even though he thought his days of coaching his own kids teams were long gone. After his own kids outgrew Pop Warner football and Little League softball, he could be found at a rainy muddy football field coaching my brother Ronnie and my cousins Michael and Billy when he could’ve been at home. Just when he thought the days of raising his own kids were over, he got sucked right back in to spending sweaty and dusty Saturdays at the softball field with me when he had plenty of things that he could’ve been doing – he still worked fulltime and like everyone else only had weekends to himself, but still had time to be at the fields coaching his niece and nephews and the neighborhood kids – long after his own kids outgrew the sports. One of his former players told me this week, he was “always the Coach…”

4. Everyone needs an Uncle who will remind you that your Parents are human and it doesn’t matter what you think they may have done or said that you still respect them. If you’re going to disrespect them you best not do it in front of him.

5. Everyone needs an Uncle who will take the time to teach you how to hit even though you think you suck. To send you out to the nearest tree that borders the outfield - a big enough step into the woods making you think you’d be eaten by bears – armed with an old wooden bat and told to hit a tree over and over again until you level out your swing. You roll your eyes, mutter under your breath, but you do it because he told you too, and never hit a line drive back to the Pitcher again. It’s even better when he gives that same advice to your own kids what seems to be a million years later, and they listen. This went for basketball advice too – I was a lost cause when it came to basketball, but he still tried despite me and later shared the same advice with my Daughter - “ don't shoot from your palm, guide with your left hand and send it…let go at the fingertips...” Same advice, different kid. She’ll hold on to that forever.

6. Everyone needs an Uncle who will dance to Wipe-Out at your wedding and get down on the floor doing the worm even though he’s well in to his 60’s, was sick as a dog, and everyone said he shouldn’t be doing that anymore. You knew it wasn’t just a party, but an actual event when he was up and dancing. He was the star of every dance floor he walked on to with his signature moves…

7. Everyone needs an Uncle to tell you that if you need permission from someone to let someone or something go, that he’ll be that guy and it’ll be okay. Not to look back. That you did what you could and the recipient of your efforts wasn’t worth it if they don’t grasp all the efforts you were putting forth to help them. It was okay to eventually walk away.

8. Everyone needs an Uncle who offers to walk you down the aisle just in case your Mother’s not up for the task. He knew well and good that she was and that she was more than capable, but he offered anyway. He offered because he felt that was his job and he took all of his jobs seriously. And he may have asked just to aggravate his younger sister- in- law because that’s what he did – he liked to mess with Sue Miller…

9. Everyone needs an Uncle who will go to every graduation, every game, every Birthday party, every get together, Confirmation, First Communion, award night, cook-out…you name it – and then go to all of those same events and milestones years later for your own children. He never missed anything. Again, he had 6 children and countless Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren of his own, but always had time for my Brother and I and our families - always. He never missed a thing. He was always there.

10. Everyone needs an Uncle who will still wear the infamous Poor Al shirt that was made for your husbands 33rd Birthday. Just when you thought that shirt was deep in a trash heap somewhere after everyone else had shipped theirs off to Good Will or the homeless shelter, it would re emerge from under one of Pa's dress shirts. He'd reveal it to you when you least expected it, as if he were Superman, as he did at your middle Daughters pre- school graduation. I don’t know why, but he claimed to love that shirt and he wore it proudly.

11. And last but not least…I will end this week by airing one grievance. My grievance is the good ones don’t last forever and there’s nothing we can do about it. We can't stop time. We can't change the past and we can't predict the future. So hang on to your people – be smart, be kind. Be that person that you needed when you were a kid. You won't realize it when it's happening, but I promise you this - you will make a difference in that kids life and she'll never forget it.

Merry Christmas!