Your Weekly Antics, The Universe is Rocking out to Turkey's and Tonic Water Edition...11-16-23

Well kids, here we are. That time of year I'd like to refer to as decoratively challenged. Despite it being the week before Thanksgiving, out and about you may find a house that is still adorned with Halloween decorations. You may see oversized skeletons on lawns and fake cob webs stretched out on the shrubbery. Next house may still have their fall appropriate and festive pumpkin display on their stairs. In the 02 there is a house I've been driving by every day that has their pumpkins out and Christmas wreaths right next to them on their front windows. Others have already begun turning on their outside Christmas lights and yes, yes you will drive by the occasional house who has their Christmas tree up, lit and decorated, strategically placed in their picture window. I get it, these are confusing times. One day it's 50-60 degrees, the next we have frost covered windshields and snow flurries leaving a dusting on our lawns as well as hydrangeas who just now decide they're going to bloom. Retail stores contribute to this anarchy by not putting away one seasonal display and offerings before putting out another, often Christmas themed candy and other items being offered up as early as September before the sunscreen displays are put away for crying out loud. But for the love of God, you people who still have their Halloween decor lit up on their lawns right next to their Christmas display, you're killing me. Pick a holiday and commit already. You want to celebrate Halloween all year long, go for it. But separate your seasons people, no need to mix them all up. It makes the OCD in me want to go out in the middle of the night and take your decorations down myself. I can't take it. PICK ONE. Here's what I've got...

1. Gibsons new favorite activity when not chasing the leaves falling from the trees, is watching this guy. That’s right kids, Leaf Blower Joe has been out in full force battling Mother Nature with his new and old tools of the trade. Gibson sits quietly at the back door mesmerized by Joe and the leaf blower…to him, it’s better than watching TV. Exhibits 1 & 2. Wait until Joe pulls out the snow blower.

2. We had some flurries earlier in the week. I didn’t have to get up and look out the window to see them, or check my accu weather app on my phone, or even tune in to my tried and true go to weather man Kevin Lemanowitz. I didn’t have to check in with our amateur weather guru’s Al or Parenteau. We were alerted to the flurries by Gibson who wasn’t quite sure what to make of them. Were they attacking him? Was his yard at risk of some kind of weather take over? Would his barking make them stop? Where were they coming from? It’s going to be a fun winter here on our corner, stay tuned.

3. I talk a lot about our dogs, what can I say, I find them entertaining. Gibson was back at it at dog school this week kids and I will acknowledge that he was not the problem, I was. All of a sudden on Tuesday night I couldn’t tell my left from my right and keep him going in the correct direction. It was what appeared to be a simple lesson, yet on more than one occasion I had to take us out of the circle because I couldn’t manage to keep his leash to the correct side, get him on the correct side, or walk in the right direction. At one point he stopped completely, exasperated with me that I couldn’t get it together. If anyone can save us, it's Stephanie Duca of Stephanie's Dog Training in Holden - she has her work cut out for her. Exhibit 3, Gibson ignoring me looking like he's never been to dog school a day in his life. Not because he hasn't learned any commands, he knows them all, he just chooses to mess with me.

4. Parking the jeep getting ready to go inside a store, I decided I should readjust my ducks. The ducks other jeep drivers have left on my jeep - along with the jeep wave, rubber ducks are a thing. Indecisive, I sat in my parking spot messing around with them…should I set them up facing outwards towards traffic, or face them towards me on the dashboard? The youngest Kap kid who’d had just about enough of my foolishness and puttering around asked, are you going to get your ducks lined up in a row or what? Clearly she’s been hanging around with her Father and Chris Andrianopoulos far too long and I told her so. She told me that she had Dad jokes down and mastered long before Al and Chris did…I’m pretty sure Chris is going to take that as a challenge…Exhibit 4, my own duck dynasty.

5. This week in a Random Day in Downtown Worcester, we ran across this. Just some guy going about his business walking downtown dressed in an inflatable turkey suit. Not a care in the world, soaking in the sunshine, living his best life and getting his steps in. I can make fun of this guy, but reality of it is, even wearing his giant turkey suit he was still walking better than I was at dog class on Tuesday night. AND unlike what we just discussed in our opening, he was appropriately dressed for the season. Only in The Woo… Exhibit 5 #turkeytrot2023

6. I got flim flammed last week people by the queen of flim flam herself, Sue Miller. She and Meri made a grand plan to go out to breakfast on Friday due to Meri having a free day off from school thanks to Veterans day. What they failed to mention was this trip would also include a trip to Shaw's. The main item of interest on Sue Miller's list was Polar Tonic Water. This beverage is her go to, therefore she likes to keep it fully stocked. You just never know when it's going to be hard to find, is discontinued, or 12 feet of snow is going to hit us and we'll be trapped in the house for so long she goes through 35 bottles of tonic water before we dig out. 🙄 I kid you not, this doesn't even begin to show you the stash she's got. Some people stock up on booze, Sue Miller stocks up on Tonic Water. Exhibit 6, her secret stash, not to be confused with her stash of paper towels.

7. The Christmas Cactus. These do not belong to me...I guarantee you if they did, they'd be dead. However, some faithful readers of The Antics have better Christmas Cactus luck, and to rub more salt in to the botanical wound, they bloom for these two several times per year. Exhibits 7 & 8 Christmas Cactus's, or cacti if you will, living in Casa de Parenteau and Casa de Sue Miller.

8. Father/daughter bonding over a game of 2K. For those of you not versed in 2K, 2K is a video game, naturally involving basketball, because we don't hear/see/watch enough basketball in this house let's also play make believe basketball in our free time too, it's enough to make me want to scratch my own eyes out. Al and Meri, claiming this to be a pleasurable pass time, can be heard near and far arguing and belly aching - I stay out of it, I stay out of the whole deal, but occasionally I do hear a thing or two worth repeating. Upon my return home from taking Hannah to the Chiropractor Wednesday night, yes, Hannah our dog, I realize their game ended abruptly. Feigning interest in this pass time, I asked the youngest Kap kid why the plug was pulled on the game so fast and the simple response I received was, Dad rage quit. There you have it people, stress relief my ass.

9. Let's revisit the info I just dropped in # 8. That's right people, we in the Kap household do partake in chiropractic services for our 4, and sometimes 3 legged friends. You all know I like my dogs more than most people, so this should surprise no one. Looking for an awesome Chiropractor for yourself as well as your furry friends? Go visit my friend Dr. Leeann Berard of Elm Park Chiropractic,124 Russell St, Worcester, 508-753-0503. She's been keeping me upright since 1999. Tell her The Antics sent you. Exhibit 9, Gibson at Grammy's with his BFF Dude.

10. Any given day I can come home to

the deafening sounds of music. I like music, that's not what I'm saying, I'm talking music being played so loud, dogs in other counties can hear it. Music hitting such decibels I think, forget saving money for retirement, I need to start saving for hearing aids - they're no joke and cost a pretty penny. One would think that being the Mother of three the source of the never ending, paint peeling off the walls daily jam sessions, would be one of the children I reproduced, but no, it is not. The source of the progressive hearing loss being bestowed on my dogs who don't have thumbs and can't let themselves out when this person is in the zone and rocking out is Al. Al is the culprit. Can't wait to see what that hears and looks like when we're 80.

#luckieswomanalive 🤘🎸

And last but not least... I'd like to formally thank the Universe for all of the unsolicited material it sends my way. Just when I think I have nothing to write about to share with you faithful readers, things like the Turkey Trot guy just land in my lap. Life is good kids. Have a great weekend!