Your Weekly Antics, the Universal Struggle of the Family Road Trip Edition...8/15/25

Well kids, with summer comes vacations. Vacations involve travel, and for many living in New England, that means hitting the open road to get yourselves to one of the many coastal beach locations for some fun in the sun. Packing for this trip and getting out the door is half the battle. Here are some of the universal complaints we all suffer through when heading out for forced family fun. Here’s what I’ve got… 

1. Packing. One would imagine that packing up to go on vacation would be easier as our children age, easier than it was when they were little. You need less clothes, less equipment like strollers and pack -n- plays, beach toys are eliminated unless you’re Sam and still require a beach shovel, but this would not be the case in the Kap house. The Kap pack has one particular family member who packs for all occasions, potential weather threat or outing. If the weather happens to dip below 60 degrees in an unseasonable weather event in Maine in August, the kid will be prepared. Every vacation begins with “how the hell long does she think we’re going that she needs all those bags… tell her to get rid of something...” There’s no room for that  – this is ridiculous." "Good thing your mother didn’t come, we would have had to strap her to the roof…” And so vacation begins…

2. Just because you’re all in the vehicle that is packed to the gills, and you’ve pulled out of the driveway does not mean you are on your way. That you have dodged the potential that the car will be turned around to go home to check, re check and check again all doors, windows, lights and anything that involves a flame have been locked, turned off, unplugged and extinguished. No one is safe from this possibility until you have arrived at your destination.

3. Regardless of all the planning and having adult children who are capable of packing for themselves, your grown adult partner will wait until you are halfway to the highway to ask if you packed something that would be off your radar and above your scope of packing responsibilities. For instance, you may be asked if you packed a specific item that is required of all those participating in a beach trip, a bathing suit. Not your own bathing suit, but his bathing suit. Why this would be your responsibility is a question every spouse will ask themselves. The universal response should be, you’ll have to hit Wal Mart, I don’t know what else to tell you. Naturally I poked the bear and told Al that I did pack his suit, but it must’ve been packed in the bag the middle kid left in the driveway when she was told to eliminate some bags if she wanted any chance of leaving for vacation.

4. Directions. The bane of all marriages everywhere. The dreaded question that we all know doesn’t end without aggravation... can you punch in the address on your phone, so I’ll know where I’m going? It won’t matter which gps/direction service or app you use, how often you use it successfully yourself, or that you arrive at the destination of your choice without error…it will not be as good as the one your husband has on his phone. Please note, it may be the same exact app, but for whatever reason, your spouse believes it only gives correct directions when used on his phone. How about this??? Plug in your own directions, on your own phone and keep it moving.

5. Google maps or what have you has been started. Address of your destination is locked and loaded. As soon as it utters a direction, your husband will tell you to shut it off, he doesn’t need it, he knows where he’s going. You no longer ask out loud why the hell he had you pull up the app and put the address in to begin with.

6. You battle city traffic to make your way to whatever highway you choose to use to exit the Woo. Before you even get to the highway, there will be an announcement made that your husband hates the traffic, hates Worcester, and specifically hates Worcester traffic. Muttering will also be heard going something like, “this is why we left on a Friday to avoid Saturday traffic. Who are these f@#$%^g people? Doesn’t anyone go to work?” Naturally I see this as an opportune time to bring up the new electric bikes being introduced to Worcester. I suggest that perhaps all city traffic woes will be eliminated by the time we get back due to the implementation of these new fancy electric bikes. Get it together Worcester, it aint happening.

7. You’re on the highway. You sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic just to get to the next highway that will bring you out of the state of Massachusetts. Somewhere along this stretch of open road your driver will then announce he hates the whole damn state. “If everyone just f^&*&*g drove, there would be no traffic. W…T….F…

8. Middle kid subconsciously yet strategically positions herself in the back seat amongst all the extra items she thinks she snuck in the vehicle when her father was bitching about all the bags she packed. Her sister wedged in a corner seriously questioning her life choices and why she didn’t make this road trip with her older brother. Halfway up Rt 95 Al has a meltdown – if she knees the back of my seat one more time…the individual the meltdown was intended for sleeps right through it because she’s blowing her eardrums out listening to her music and continues her relaxing slumber unphased.

9.  "Look at that Jumoke…driving over the bridge with a selfie stick with his phone or camera or go pro or some other stupid thing hanging out the window. Nothing to see here pal, it’s a bridge…what a moron. Take a picture of that Lis…send that to Jim Burns. What an idiot."

10. "Traffic advisory for the entire state of Maine? Well, no shit…where was that information 2 hours ago? Aren’t they just the masters of the obvious? Let me tune into my am radio station while I sit here in traffic. That'll solve everything!!!!"

And last but not least...get out there people and do something fun...we're running out of summer!

Have a great weekend!