Your Weekly Antics - The Peepers are Peeping Edition...3/24/2022

The Peepers are peeping here in the hood which is a sure sign of spring. For you cynics out there I’m not talking about Peepers as in Peeping Toms, I’m talking Peepers as in the frog variety who can be heard after dark singing their song that spring and warm weather are in the works. We have a swamp like body of water not far from our corner that serves as a hang out to these little buggers and they provide us with their version of spring anticipation. Unlike the Ground Hog who is unceremoniously pulled from his den of slumber in the frigid cold in the dead of winter, these little guys emerge from their swamp type habitat to happily sing their songs alerting us that spring is on the way. Maybe they sing to us because they’re allowed to emerge of their own free will and aren’t abruptly woken from their sleep like poor old Punxsutawney Phil - If I were him I’d be pissed too and would wish 6 more weeks of winter on everyone just out of principal. You wake me up, you’ll all suffer. If I were to choose, I’d go with the Peepers any day rather than drag that poor guy out of his den into the freezing cold…It’s just not nice. Listen to the Peepers people and leave the dam Ground Hog alone. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. After being a slug last Saturday, I took a ride out to Northampton in Western Mass on Sunday with Al and Meri who have been on a quest for a new electric guitar. I’d love to tell you what kind and its significance, but to be honest, I’ll only get it all wrong, so I’m not going to bother. Bottom line is I’m like a dog willing to take a free car ride, so off I went. Now if you haven’t been to Northampton, it’s a cute little town with all sorts of shops and a nice place to walk around. We weren’t out of the car for 30 seconds before you guessed it, an elderly woman beelined it over to me and started chatting us up. She had a travel coffee mug Meri noticed had the name Betty written on the side, we assumed that was her name and she didn’t correct us, so we went with it. In the next 30 seconds Betty got our entire life story out of me and shared the stories of others she had run in to on the street earlier in the day – she even yelled at Al for trying to put money in the parking meter because according to her, he wasn’t paying attention, and he should know you don’t pay the meters on Sunday because after all, Sunday is the Lords Day. So off we went to Newbury Comics while Betty continued smiling, going about her business and spreading cheer…we should all be more like Betty. She made my day.

2. After time and forever and me wishing I had spent my day with Betty, Al and Meri exited the music store with guitar in hand as if they were fat kids robbing a candy shop. The guitar was placed gently in its case in the back of the jeep. We leave, go on our way, and decide to hit a local coffee shop before heading out. We pull in. Al says, maybe I should wait here because the guitar’s in the jeep. I tell him that’s crazy, we’ll be in and out quick, come inside and order your coffee. He then turns and says, that’s true, I’ll go in with you… Meri, why don’t you stay in the jeep and keep an eye on the guitar…No Al, that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t thinking you should risk the well-being of the youngest Kap kid, who is currently my favorite, by having her sit outside in the jeep on guitar watch, while you accompany me inside to get coffee. Way to throw your kid to the wolves… Let me say that again…he wanted the kid, to stay in the jeep, guarding the guitar. That man is lucky he made it out of Northampton alive – it’s like he wants me to kill him and dump him the woods on the way home. Get it together or there’s going to be an episode, featuring me, on 20/20

3. And while we're on the subject and before you all start to judge me, the way things go around here is all three of my kids are my favorites. I alternate that role amongst them regularly and as I see fit. Sometimes it's not even just the Kap kids...sometimes Kevin gets thrown in to the mix, or Roena or Brett - you'll get a Miller kid thrown in there from time to time, I don't discriminate. And for you Parents out there, don't even try to tell me you don't do the same. Puhleeeeeze. You know I'm speaking the truth.

4. Forks. Forks have gone missing here at the Kap house, we are legitimately down to 6 - 6 forks. Of course, no one has any idea where they’ve gone to. Now I know and you know my life is not a Pixar movie, therefore forks don’t grow legs and don’t just escape the dishwasher, set themselves free and head for the hills, so where the hell are they? I’ll tell you where they are…some nit wit who lives here who shall not be named, keeps throwing silverware away. Tristan is my witness and saw me pick a fork out of the recycling bin, true story. Fine. You wanna mess with me? Plastic it is.

*** There will always be an open door policy at the Kap house, so please, come one and come all, anyone is always welcome for dinner, you're just going to have to bring your own fork.

5. Dr. Jimmy suggested to Sue Miller she start taking walks throughout her house to get her steps in. She failed to mention to him that she is the proud owner of a treadmill. She later determined using that treadmill would be a far more efficient way to complete this task and she'd put that fine piece of machinery to work. I told her I'd relay her progress to Jimmy and asked her for the hell of it if she was using the incline adjustment, and if so, what she had the incline set on. Sue Miller's response - flat. The incline is on flat because, there’s no way in hell I’m walking uphill in my own house… there you have it Dr. Jimmy Angelis- you are now officially in the loop. Exhibit 1 Coach Meghan and Dr. Jimmy, 2 of my most favorite people.

6. Pot Belly Pig Dog – she’s back to being a total ass. Her reprieve of banishment for protecting our house has come to an end. With the nice weather, naturally the Kap Pack wants to hang out in the yard. Some days she’s good, some days she’s bad. Well today’s not so good. The same people walk by every day. The same dogs. Some days she’s like ehhh, whatever, keep on walking and go about your business. Days like today she’s like whatever, keep on walking and go about your business...then I look like the fool standing outside trying to chorale her in when clearly all she hears is blah blah blah not because she can’t speak English, but because she’s ignoring me and is a complete 100% total asshat.

7. Spring – spring in New England doesn’t just mean Peepers and crocus’s and warmer days, it’s also Maple Sugar season that runs for roughly 6 weeks starting in March and ending in mid-April. Not sure if maple flavored items get the same attention and traction as pumpkin does in the fall, but here are some examples of items, both run of the mill and off the beaten path, you’ll find out there featuring maple…

Maple Sriracha hot sauce

Maple Ketchup

Maple Pepper with Garlic salt

Maple Taffy

Maple Soap

Maple Beer

Maple Liqueur

Maple Smoked Cheddar Cheese

Maple Walnut ice cream

Maple Bacon donuts

Maple Coffee

Maple Butter

Maple Barbeque sauce

Although Vermont is the number one producer of all things maple in the United States, producing over 1.5 million gallons of maple syrup a year, we do have some local sugarhouses that also provide us with this amber colored treat. If you’re not up for a road trip to Vermont any time soon, check out this site I’ve listed below that will give you names of maple sugar makers that are right in our own backyards, you’d be surprised how close they are. You won’t have to take a long ride, and you can check out the local scenery as well as support a local family-owned business.

https://www.massmaple.org/buy-maple-syrup/directory/

And, a little extra tid-bit of information for you... Ryan Francis, he too is from Vermont.

That info is free, you're welcome.

8. Extra curricular activities - I'm not talking the illegal smoking and drinking in the woods kind of activities, I'm talking the athletic kind. What do you do when you decide to try something new? Golf. That's right, golf. The youngest Kap kid has decided to throw her hat in to the ring and hang out with Coach Meghan this fine spring season. If you see a kid tooling around in a hijacked golf cart drinking maple syrup directly from the bottle know this - she bought that syrup from a local grower and is having a great time for herself.

Exhibit 2 the middle Kap kid in her early days on the golf course. Here's hoping the youngest Kap kid has a better swing or Coach Meghan's got a lot of work ahead of her. #HAPPYGILMORETAKE2

9. If you can’t beat them, join them, or better yet, tell whoever it is to skip along, you don’t need their nonsense. That’s my PSA for this week. You do you and let everyone else figure their own selves out…

10. Visiting Gramma Edie this week I got lucky and was well received so I ran with it. Should've known luck was on my side when I was waiting for Edie and looked up and saw this - now some may say there are Mary Sullivan's everywhere, that the name Mary Sullivan may be considered as common as Lisa Miller and Jane Doe, but I know what I know and it's always nice to be reminded that she's always looking out for us, and apparently for Gramma Edie too - sorry Mary, I'm doing my best, you've got your work cut out for you.

11. And last but not least, if you take anything away from this weeks Antics, do this - shop local, don't question anyone's Grandmother about their treadmill use, it's okay to occasionally choose a neighbors kid as your favorite, and for crying out loud don't throw the silverware away.

Have a great weekend!