Your Weekly Antics The Great Ladybug Incident of 2021 Edition ... 7-15-21

Well kids, I attempted to get some data to share about the ridiculous amount of rain we’ve gotten so far this summer but found too many stats and differing info - so, if you want more info than I’m willing to provide, look out your window…it’s still raining. I will share this however, according to CBS News, NASA is predicting a wobble in the moons orbit that could lead to record flooding on Earth in the next decade. Fantastic. Just more friggin softball game rain outs and something else for us to worry about over the next ten years…Here’s what I’ve got…

1. Despite the rain, we managed to get softball in this weekend so I’m going to talk about Coach Matt. Despite the large amount of sugar intake from his girly dunkin donuts iced coffees, he was quieter than usual, but still had time to tell me that he has not been keeping up with the Antics because someone told him they’re not worth the read… He may or may not have thrown the other Coaches (Erlich, Murphy, Cormier & O’Leary…) under the bus inferring that it may have been one of them who sputtered such nonsense so I’m here to publicly announce - gloves off Coach Matt – stay on your toes - I’ll get you when you least expect it. Exhibit 1...that little spec of red is Coach Matt on his bucket. Guy next to him is Erlich, I still like him. Murphy being the voice of reason was managing the dugout, and now that you mention it, where the hell was O'Leary???

2. Observations in between innings at the softball field. I observed a probably 4 ish year old kid befriending other children at the field just to steal their stuff. It was a work of absolute genius. This kid is either going to be a politician, a criminal or both, either way he’s spending time in the clink. In addition to flim flamming the other kids out of their tennis balls, baby carriage, doll, toy trucks and a variety of snacks, I also watched him single handedly harass one of our softball Dad’s out of his nephews football. All I’m gonna say is good thing Jesse didn’t witness it all go down DP… This kid was a true Eddie Haskell in the making, I would’ve done my best to defend you, but I’ll admit, this kid was a little scary.

3. Back to the softball field…whoever was in charge of the music selection at our tournament last weekend at the Franklin High School Athletic fields – Thank You - It’s about dam time if we’re driving up and down and all around at the crack of dawn to get these kids to their games that we’re greeted with and provided throughout our day, some decent 80’s music. It’s really not about the kids and what they want to hear. If I’m frying myself in the sun like squid on rock, I’d like to do so while listening to some good music. Best part about it you ask? Every time any kid at any field made any comment there were about 10 parents ready to take their heads off. Go ahead…disrespect Prince again, I dare ya. To top off our 80’s weekend and further torment our children, look what I ran across in Edie’s attic this week…please see exhibit 2.

4. For Meri’s Worcester Rockets softball team Coach Matt has gone all high tech on us and has a “Team App” that keeps us in the loop for games, practices, all that good stuff – this shouldn’t surprise you because he really is on the cutting edge. This eliminates his having to email, or text, it’s all on the app. When Coach Matt sends updates the apps notification has a distinct sound/ring to let us know there’s something we need to pay attention to. I think Meri has PTSD. Every time she hears it, she’s like Pavlov’s Dog - all you can hear from where ever she is, OMG…WHAT does Coach Matt want now? ( said with love and respect and a little bit of fear of course…)

5. Forced family fun – everyone needs it. The youngest Kap kid is regularly tortured, I mean persuaded, to go to the gym with her older sister and her cousins. She has made it abundantly clear that she wants no part of over exerting herself and while they're killing themselves on the stair master, she will be minding her business on the treadmill walking as slowly as humanly possible so she doesn’t break a sweat… Please see exhibit 3

6. Harley the three legged dog is occasionally referred to as the bowling ball due to her physique. She normally bunks with the middle kid, but she’s decided she’s annoyed with her and has been bed hopping to teach Reaghan a lesson. Dad joke of the week…. “The Bowling Ball is on strike…” I’m pretty sure Meri’s eyes rolled right into the back of her head while telling her Father that bowling balls make strikes they don't go on strike, therefore, this comment doesn’t make any sense…

7. It’s Shark Week kids and I must confess that JAWS ruined my childhood. Sue Miller said I wasn’t allowed to watch it, but I did anyway, trying to hang in there with my older cooler cousins back in the day, so ultimately, this is Kelly Donahue Brissette’s fault. This may have been her ploy to keep me from following her and her friends around at Hampton Beach, well guess what kids, it worked. I didn’t step foot in any ocean anywhere until I was at least 16. I remained on the sand. Thank you Steven Spielberg. For those of you who would like to put your own children through this trauma and do yourselves the favor of not having to keep your kids afloat in the ocean, it’s Shark Week people. Just stick them in front of the T.V. - problem solved.

8. Big news! Pot Belly Pig Dog graduated from Dog School last week. She successfully made me look like a big liar as she acted like the perfect dog. Despite the behavior that landed her in this class to begin with, she was the model student, did not display one moment of aggression or misbehavior and made me look like I hallucinated all the times she’s tried to eat my other dogs. Being the new reformed dog that she claimed to be, we took her to the ball field with us last weekend where she acted like a jerk. If nothing else, she’s consistent. Please see exhibit 3 - she was fine as long as no one went near her kids.

9. On our travels this week Meri may or may not have heard me say, Hold on a sec, I have to turn the radio down so I can see…. I’m not proud of this statement, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I set myself up for ridicule for now until forever.

10. This critter seen in exhibit 4 bought me a bargaining chip that will be kept in the vault for future use should the youngest Kap kid try to use the above statement against me. Let’s talk about The Great Ladybug Incident of 2021...Minding my own business, driving with the top down on Rte 2 this week, Meri thought she was being attacked by a prehistoric pterodactyl. After all was said and done and I almost drove off the road, this was the culprit of the near melt down. Yes, I’m serious. Again, exhibit 4 - the ferocious Rte 2 hitch hiking ladybug.

11. And last but not least kids, don't let the average 4 year old bully you, you're taller than him. When all else fails and you need a little boost in your confidence, just refer to exhibit 5 and remember who you are. Have a great weekend!