Your Weekly Antics, The Cactus, the Jeep and the Winding Road Edition 7-28-23...

Okay kids, it’s been a crazy week and I thought to myself, maybe I should dig deep into the archives of The Antics and republish an oldie but a goodie. What would my tried and true faithful readers think? Would they think I was a hack? That The Antics were washed up? That our occasional attempts at trying to spread good cheer and encourage you all to be better human beings was a scam? As I pondered this I thought, you know what, I just can’t bring myself to do it…to the three people who actually read The Antics and noticed they were late this week, I hope you appreciate my efforts and embrace the crazy that is part of my daily life. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. Despite the riff raff and cast of characters that have come across my path in recent days, I am here to report that no, it is not a full moon, but we are on the cusp of one. If you work with the public, go out in public, and/or hate the public, you’ll know that often the week before the full moon can be just as bad, if not worse, than the full moon itself. With that said, listen up…we are quickly approaching the month of August, and the beginning of the new month will also bring us our next full moon. The full moon will make its appearance on Tuesday August 1st at approximately 2:32 pm…it’s not even going to wait until nightfall to start messing with you, it’s going to begin its meddling smack dab in the middle of your afternoon siesta. Just when you think you’ve survived the upheaval and discord a full moon brings, we’ll then be hit with another full moon on August 30th. At least that full moon has the decency to hold off on the shenanigans she’ll bring until after 9pm that night. This my friends is what is referred to as a Blue Moon. The term blue moon is most commonly used when we have two full Moons in a single month. So, there you have it – enjoy the last few days of July people – we may be in for it come August. You have been warned.

2. Case in point to prove my theory regarding what was stated in #1. A hospital emergency room. There is no greater place to people watch than an emergency room hallway. I tell you this because I recently found myself with a faithful Antics reader in a local ER of our fine city and the cast of characters that we came across was bountiful, and only got better as the sun went down. Let’s talk about a man I will refer to as Bob. Now Bob, by the grace of God, was under the age of 60 and as I expressed an inner sigh of relief, I learned all about Bob. Bob is a frequent flyer of this particular ER and is apparently loved by all. We saw this as we sat in the ER hallway watching the comings and goings of those around Bob throughout the day. Every paramedic, fireman and policeman who walked by knew him by name and stopped by to say hello as if he were an old friend. He had Doctors, Nurses, PCA’s, an anesthesiologist, a surgeon, another frequent flyer - it didn’t matter if they were ending their shift, starting their shift or in the middle of their shift, they all made it a point to swing on by to say hello to Bob. Bob was served lunch, snacks and beverages of his choice, some the standard hospital meal, some being shared from the lunch brought in by staff, some items being brought to him from the vending machine as if he were a celebrity of sorts. Bob was the welcoming committee and entertainment for those waiting in the hallway, striking up conversations with anyone walking by or sitting around. Bob, a gentle soul, had no qualms about telling anyone who would listen that he was a proud regular in the ER and stopped by now and then for a tune up in the psych unit. Bob was a happy go lucky kind of guy - if everyone would be as forthcoming as Bob, my job would be a piece of cake. We should all be like Bob.

3. There are others that are not as lucky as Bob and go unnoticed in the ER. By hour 7 of a 12 hour ER hallway visit, you can’t help but over hear conversations around you. When the Nurses station is in the center of all of the activity you tend to pick up a few things. One particular tid bit that I gathered was the staff discussing if the BOLO (Be On the Look Out,) was ever cancelled and if the person in question was found. Described as a confused white elderly female, approximately 5 feet, unkempt long gray hair, last seen wearing an ill fitting jonny, no shoes... anyone see her? Was she discharged? Did she elope and walk out? Did she call a cab? Leave on foot skidaddling out of there? Did she have access to a phone? Was she admitted? All I had to hear was elder and I quickly shut my eyes hoping this would miraculously shut down my hearing because I didn’t want any part of a missing elder in the ER. While humming la la la la la in my head, trying to unhear what I just heard and quiet the inner radar that was screaming missing elder, I realize a woman meeting this description had been walking past me all day. Wandering around happy as a clam on what was presumably her 27th lap of the ER hallway. She did not appear to be in distress or pose a threat to anyone. She was happily going about her business getting her steps in with a smile on her face. Having little else to keep me entertained I kept an eye on her for a bit - weaving in and out of pedestrian traffic that was a busy ER, and wondering how long it would take for anyone to notice this could very well be the missing person in question. Finally deciding it really wasn't fair keeping all the fun to myself, I pointed out to the staff...would this be the elder you've been looking for? No one cared - again, job security for me. Get it together.

4. One would expect when in a facility such as a hospital, that your basic needs, such as the provision of oxygen would be a given. Do not assume being in the presence of great minds who hold those fancy degrees will have the common sense to ensure ones basic needs are being met. Needs such as ensuring that the oxygen tank one is hooked up to is properly hooked up and turned on. Fun fact...you can be hooked up to just about anything, however, if the on switch is not engaged it's not going to work. We all gotta breath. Exhibit 1, Sue Miller's fan club.

5. Despite being oxygen deprived in the company of people with medical degrees, my one faithful Antics reader has so far survived and had visits from her loyal fans. After almost killing her, she was given the room with a view of traffic in The Woo. Exhibit 2, Sue Miller waving to her faithful following...all you're getting are the arms in this photo or she'd kill me... Exhibit, 3 how her fans feel about her hospital stay.

6. The youngest Kap kid celebrated her 16th Birthday earlier this week and with that comes the right of passage of every 16 year, the obtaining of the drivers permit. Here’s a few fun facts. When applying for a drivers permit, it is expected that a birth certificate be supplied for the permit application. The application does not have a section or a box to check that indicates - I am the third and youngest child, therefore my Mother has no idea where my birth certificate is can we skip that part - section of the application. This means now, on your 16th Birthday, one of your first trips will be to City Hall to purchase an original copy of your birth certificate. A piece of paper that documents with all certainty that you were in fact, born to this person who has no idea where the actual original documentation of your birth may be. Could be worse kid, I could’ve forgotten where I left you.

7. Prior to the crazy that our pre full moon week has brought us, the Kap pack took advantage of the beautiful summer weather last Saturday and spent the day in Boston. Did some walking around, acted all touristy by holding up pedestrian traffic while taking pictures, and talked to just about anyone who would listen. Let me clarify, I, it was me who acted all touristy while the rest of my family went about their business hoping I wouldn’t fall down, get run over or get myself killed. Ah ye of little faith. I consider it a talent being able to walk and talk to just about anyone at the same time...I was just being like Bob as referenced in #2.

8. Speaking of falling down. I have been described as clumsy a time or two, and due to this I often find myself looking down when walking. I like to see where I’m stepping. If there is a curb, a crack in the pavement, any uneven sidewalk, or a ditch, I’m going to fall in it, so I tend to look down a lot when walking in unfamiliar places. You’d be amazed at the fun things you see when you’re looking at the ground. Then you look up and realize those you were with had no idea you stopped and kept it moving - now you find yourself feeling like a lost toy. Hey, it happens and they do eventually realize I’m missing and come looking for me. No BOLO needed for me. Exhibit 4 a fun find.

9. Another adventure had this week was a trip to a huge Nursery in Hopkinton. After the heat and humidity we’ve experienced this summer, spending some time in a greenhouse that made you feel like you were in the tropics was just like another day on the Worcester streets. Perused the aisles and picked a few things out here and there. The youngest kid is the green thumb, the middle kid is more inclined to purchase fake plants to add a zip of color to the aesthetics of her space. In attempts to switch it up, the middle kid was talked in to trying her luck at keeping a real plant alive. She was pointed in the direction of the low maintenance super hard to kill plant section of the greenhouse, bringing her to the succulents and cactus's, or cacti if you will... she found the perfect cactus she soon named Roger, deciding he would add the much needed pop of color to her room, and off to the cash register they went. All was well and good until our return trip home that brought us upon a bumpy road under construction - in the jeep. Reaghan found out the hard way that jeeps, bumpy roads and prickly cacti are not a good combo and hitting a bump at 25-30 mph while holding her new friend Roger would not end well. Roger survived, but Reaghan looked as if she were attacked by a tiny little porcupine. Exhbiti 5, Roger.

10. The heat, humidity, overall poor air quality and weather alerts about potential summer storms can really put a damper on our outdoor summer activities. Deb, one of our favorites here at The Antics in an avid fisherman, this weather is really messing with her daily routine. On a day like today she has to choose safety over hanging with her fish friends, but Hank the Mantle Fish has her covered. He's offered to let her drop a line in his tank, hang out for a bit and ride out this weather together until she can get back out on the open waters. Gotta love Hank, taking one for the team.

And last but not least...enjoy your weekend kids, stay hydrated, cool, and buckle up for preparation for the Blue Moon!