Your Weekly Antics-The Buttahhhh Rollahhh Edition 6-16-22

Happy almost Friday kids, and for those of you who have wonderful offspring attending the Worcester Public Schools, their last day of school is tomorrow. Please refer back to The Antics from recent weeks that gave sound advice that parents and caregivers everywhere should all stand together, lay down the law, and stick to it. The rules for those kids gracing us with their presence after being away at college also apply to those kiddos who will now be home for the summer. Good Luck and Godspeed. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. If you’re a kid and you’re on summer “vacation”, know this. Your Parents still get up to go to work to keep a roof over your head and to feed your never ending pit of a stomach. The least you can do is change over the laundry and empty the dishwasher. Dishwashers are an amazing thing and despite their fancy buttons and cycles and huge technological advances over the years, they do not empty or fill themselves, unless of course it happens to be owned by a Superhero like Ironman who has a fancy robot to do the work for him. You rinse your dish. You open the dishwasher door, you neatly stack the dish in its place…Mom’s aren’t even necessarily sticklers on the rinsing part, just get the friggin dishes in the dishwasher. Don’t ask questions – do it or your summer will not only be free of actual dishware, but the paper plates supplied to you will be those left over from the pizza delivery guy and will look pretty foolish once your food supply’s been cut off. Get it together.

2. Cooking, food prep and clean up. Take a gander at this culinary ballet – some do the work of the people, others feed the people - these two are like a fine oiled machine churning out dozens of burgers and dogs with smiles on their faces spreading good cheer. You can’t go wrong with these two. They’re available nights and weekends. Not really, but neither of them knows how to say no, so you may luck out. Who couldn't use a great grill team?

3. Now check this out. Not only do these two provide delicious food and hours of entertainment, they do so in style. Ron Miller has upped his game folks and has added the Buttahhhhhh Rollahhhhhh to his grilling magic to assist in the proper distribution of butter per bun providing you with the perfect toasted bun experience. I’m sure this thing has a proper name, but I bet it’s not as fun as saying Buttahhhhh Rollahhhhh so I’m sticking with it.

Exhibit 2, the Buttahhh Rollahhhhh at work.

Exhibit 3, Curiosity got the better of me so I looked on line after all. For those interested, the butter roller product is referred to by a variety of similar names such as The Butter Spreader by Chef Master, The Butter Wheel by Cuisinart, The Butter Roller by Winco, to name a few. It's not too late kids, go on line and order one for the Griller in your life today.

4. With the official start to summer and the end of the school year comes summer time activities and finding ways to keep those kids entertained. Unless you're independently wealthy, your children will have to learn to occasionally fend for and entertain themselves and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. No pool? No problem. Pull out the hose with or without a sprinkler and your kids will have a ball. Or better yet, pack up and ship your kids off to Grandmas house for the summer and get yourself a dog or two. Exhibit 4, forget the kids, this is the fun you could be having if you smartened up and got yourself a dog instead. Some plants may or may not have been watered during this video, and it's important to point out that this water play/potential mud bath was not on Dan Quinn's lawn - his lawn is still one of visual perfection...Jeff's? Maybe not so much.

5. Chicken wars continue. People want their chickens, the fresh eggs they provide and all the fun stuff involved in backyard city farming. Did you know that chickens can help to ward off insects such as ticks and other pests, reducing the chance of Lyme disease? They eat food scraps, lowering the amount of waste finding its way in to the city's landfills...helping to reduce the carbon footprint laid upon the land we know as The Woo. Yes they can be noisy. Roosters are frowned upon - cities such as Brockton and Somerville allow chickens. Somerville which is the most densely populated city in the state can figure out how to do it, why can't Worcester figure it out? There's even a Facebook page, Chicken Up Worcester! To Worcester Animal Control, I say, Good Luck and Godspeed...

https://www.masslive.com/galleries/HW3RYR5M5ZDQ7PVJ4PWHKJELZU/

6. Here's an idea you may want to consider. It's summer vacation. Throw those kids outside. No need for them to be home before dark, they've got no where to go the next day anyway. Let them run amuck in the neighborhood being kids. With that said, there are all sorts of dangers to worry about these days, not just abduction. One of those worries is bugs. Those rotten mosquito's and ticks are already coming for us, so rather than spray your kids down with that nasty toxic sticky bug spray, consider getting them a chicken. That chicken can become your kids new best friend, follow him around, and eat all those nasty bugs that threaten his well being. Another reason chickens should be welcomed in the Woo. Here at The Antics we strive to do what we can to improve your lives one stupid idea at a time. You're welcome.

7. For all you haters out there of the poultry variety, I'm going to head this one off and say what some of you doubters are thinking. Remember that book, If you Give a Pig a Pancake, the next line is...she'll want syrup to go with it...if they let chickens occupy space in the hood, next thing you know people will want Ducks. Then once they have ducks, they're going to want turkeys. All chaos will ensue and pretty soon the city streets will be overrun by foul far and wide...or, maybe we should just let the people have their damn chickens. After all, the city got its ball park...let the chicken lovers live...

8. Headband Tuesday with Coach Matt. Nothing like a nice cool pre summer night spent at the softball field with this crew. And of course, donned in his signature headband. No one wears a headband like Matt Lefebvre...even Sue Miller came out for this rare mid week display of fashion.

9. Random hospital in Connecticut. Does anyone else find it a bit messed up that there's a cemetery located right on the hospital's property? One stop shopping? I'd like to know who the PR person is who's job it is to explain that. Perhaps this is noted in the hospital literature...here outside of the cardiac suite, one can gaze upon the lovely headstones that are strategically and lovingly placed throughout the lush green grass that holds our beloved deceased. Or... get your shit together and do what your Doctor tells you or you'll end up 6 feet under like those poor bastards. No matter how you slice it, that's just poor planning. It's like a bad after school special/scared straight infomercial.

10. The Antics failed you this moon cycle kids, and I am here to formally apologize for letting you all down. We failed to alert you all about the Strawberry Moon that made its presence known to the skies this week, Tuesday the 14th in to Wednesday. Whether you took a look out your window or not, you should've felt it coming. Anyone working in human services anywhere could've told you by mid morning last Monday that there was something stirring in the universe and it was going to be a fun filled week. Let's just say by Monday afternoon I was ready to call it a week, was done seeing people naked, but then I reminded myself how much fun my job is and got right back out there. #liesliesandmorelies

And last but not least, I hope this week's been good to you so far, despite the full moon and the universe's continued attempts at messing with us. Remember, when you've had it and all else fails, go out to your yard, turn on the hose and run through your sprinkler like the neighbors dogs, you'll feel better and.

Have a great week!