Your Weekly Antics - The Bees and The Bread Bandit Edition...9-9-2021

Well kids, it's been a week and I'm not gonna lie to you, I started writing this last Sunday, that's the kind of week it's been - true story. So don't mind me if I reference the wrong days, not that it matters because admit it, you've all had your days screwed up because of the much needed day off we had for Labor Day. With that said, I will point out that it is not a full moon until September 20th. I mentioned to our fearless leader that it's been feeling like a full moon as of late and she quickly reminded me that it's been a full moon in the Protective Services Department since the dawn of time and I'd have to agree. It's getting crazier and crazier out there, so heads up and take care of yourselves. Here's what I've got....

1. The youngest Kap kid asked her Father this weekend when he planned on going to the grocery store because apparently we were starving her. She said she is certainly capable of making a meal out of watermelon and goldfish crackers, but is pretty sure that lacks the nutritional value needed for a 14 year old. Her other option is to find her way to Sue Millers should the pickins continue to be slim and despite Al completing the weekly grocery shopping, she still decided to make herself a sandwich out of jalapeno goldfish, a hamburger bun and Chick fil a sauce. She rated it a 10/10. Don't let Sue Miller know - she'll start cooking and pretty soon I'll be asking Jim Burns if I can store her pre made meals in the Nutrition Departments freezer at ESW.

2. I got sick of looking at my deck boxes of flowers that didn’t fair well this summer so went to Home Depot and bought myself some Mums…little bit early for me, but I couldn’t stand to look at the others any longer. Got them home, went about the task of ripping out the summer annuals and planting the Mums in their place. In front of the youngest Kap kid who you all know is Al's biggest critic, he said, " I find it offensive that the local flower shops offer Mums and not Dads..." Meri asked if he sits up at night thinking of this stuff…

3. I failed to mention that when I went to Home Depot I dragged the youngest and middle Kap kids with me. While choosing the Mums not Dads, there were some innocent bees buzzing around minding their own business probably asking themselves why I was taking their plants. Reaghan swatted one away. Meri quickly told her sister not to be mean because Bees remember faces...Exhibit 1 the angry bee for you Transformers fans...

4. Okay, more Bee info. Apparently according to google, Bees not only remember faces, but they are also attracted to the smell of weed. The youngest Kap kid believes this is probably why there was a bee in her class that kept landing on her fellow students forehead. That was quickly rectified when the teacher smacked the bee off his head with a notebook and then stomped on it all while complaining she was ruining her new shoes. Again, only in Worcester. Exhibit 2, a happier bee doing the work of the land pollinating my Rose of Sharon tree, or stealing pollen from it, I don't know, I'm not a Bee expert.

5. AND…allergies. Ragweed is prominent in the fall and the recent pollen reports have indicated that the Ragweed allergen has been high. My app states the high pollen count and reasonably high winds make this week particularly uncomfortable for allergy sufferers. Sharing this info with Marshall, he asked why the hell I need an app to tell me this when my nose is running and I’ve got him to tell me what’s happening with the pollen count…not sure what I was thinking.

6. It was only a matter of time people that the Pigeons of The Woo would band together to bring the repression of pigeons everywhere to the forefront. Call me crazy, but it may have been the brazen parade of freedom that the blue parakeet from last weeks Antics took the liberty of displaying while hanging in his posh oversized cage road side at Great Brook Valley. While said Parakeet chilled in his cage flaunting his privilege, Pigeons of The Woo decided to put their wings down and set their beady little eyes towards a revolution. See Exhibit 3. This my friends was found on one of the middle kids favorite ice cream treats.

7. The oldest Kap kid moved out last week and ventured back to Boston for his Grad year at Bentley. He was home for one month in between his old lease and the new one. He’s all settled in at his new place and all’s good. One look at his room here at home and you’d think he had been evicted and escorted out at gunpoint by the Sherriff.

8. Driving down 190 last week we were behind this. Curiosity got the better of me. Where was he going? Where’d he get the bread? Did he steal it? Was he having a party that involved lots and lots of sandwiches? Were those loaves actually transporting contraband? As we were pulling up beside him the poor guy had the same look we had for him… Are they following me? What do they want? Why are they taking pictures of me and my bread? Am I gonna be robbed? Ride on Bread Bandit, ride - on. Exhibit 4, the Bread Bandit.

9. Got together with some of the cousins last weekend for our now 2nd annual Corn Hole Tournament. This year my cousin Billy and I weren’t messing around and got t-shirts. Please see exhibit 2. Al and Glenn will tell you they won, but I wouldn’t exactly call it that. Glenn and Al called the 3 game series due to rain, so Billy and I are interpreting that as a forfeit. Champions 2 years running people – don’t listen to anything Al and Glenn say. Billy and I are the Corn Hole Champions. #TheCornStars4Eva...Exhibit 5 The Corn Stars and The NOT Corn Stars.

10. And feast your eyes on this, a true champion. We finally have an animal on our corner that isn't a free loader and contributes to the good and the wellfare of our hood. This is Kenny. Kenny belongs to Jake and lives next door with Remy and Lawn mower Joe...(Dylan and Jen too...). Kenny deserves a shout out this week. This little guy caught his very first mouse over the Labor Day weekend keeping his people safe and he’s giving dogs everywhere a bad name. The dogs living down here on the corner bark and growl and drool and catch nothing. Get it together dogs, Kenny's making you all look bad. Exhibit 6, Proud Kenny after the successful capture and destruction of the unfortunate mouse who made his way in to his peoples house.

11. And last but not least - this weekend marks the 20th Anniversary of 9/11 - if you don't already, do something kind for someone, not just on Saturday, but every day. Maybe think about how nice we all were to each other on 9/12/2001 and be that person. If you're too young to remember or weren't around for that, be nice anyway- it'll make you feel good.

Have a great weekend!