Your Weekly Antics Talking Trash on Google Maps Edition...11-4-2021

Well kids now that it's stopped raining I hope you've reacquainted yourselves with the bright, sunny, cool crisp days of fall. I myself have pulled a sweater or two down from the top shelf of my recently reorganized and clean closet but have yet to venture up to the attic to retrieve the others. That day will be coming sooner than later and I'll be airing out winter sweaters like some air their grievances...here's what I've got...

1. After spending $ 11.51 on two coffees I was reminded why I haven’t been to Starbucks in a long time. It was a weak moment people...I thought why not hop on the fall flavor band wagon on this crisp fall day? Grab myself an over priced luke warm pumpkin spice something or other? Serves me right...I spilled half of it before it had the chance to get cold. And that's what I get for once again letting the lure of Starbucks flavorful promises suck me back in...

2. Al texted the youngest Kap kid when he was on the road for work and found himself in the town of Ayer. Of course he couldn't miss an opportunity to torment her. Do I need to even say it? See Exhibit 1. It’s too embarrassing for me to re write…read for yourselves.

3. I’ve been trying to be a good friend and help Marshall get himself all squared away. One of his recent tasks was getting his prepaid funeral arranged. While doing so, I was asked if I could find out from him what his “Hebrew” name is, as that would be needed for his final resting place. Now you’d think that was a simple enough question, but this is Marshall we’re talking about. As I’m filling out the paperwork, in ink mind you, he kept giving me different names before settling on “Marshka”. As soon as I wrote it down he laughed and told me he was messing with me. Al asked, “ does that mean my Hebrew name is Al-aska? ” Exhibit 2, how I contribute to his Dad Jokes...

4. In regards to #3, I told Marshall he could either get all this information straight for me or I'd bury him with Gramma Edie - let's see how fast he gets his act together now...

5. NBA basketball season is upon us people and I am less than thrilled. Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I hate basketball. I like watching high school and college and of course watching any of my kids play over the years, but I have absolutely no patience for the NBA, or to be more specific, listening to Al and Meri argue about the Celtics for the next 80 something games. In midst of listening to their disputes the other night, a very reliable source pretty much told me to buckle up because we were only on game 5 of the 82 game season. Not sure if she was trying to make me feel better and give me a count down type scenario or just found it entertaining to point this hell out to me, the jury’s out on that one. My source went on to inform me that no, I am not hallucinating, the regular season is actually ten months long – ten months – and just when you think it’s over, you get the NBA draft and summer leagues in July. I acknowledge that baseball season and their game schedule is double this amount, and I should quit my whining, but I like baseball, and this is my blog, so I get to say what I want – how’s that for being diplomatic.

6. Breaking and entering – anyone else notice this seems to be a common theme here in The Antics? Well kids I’m here to report that I’m off my game and any plans I had to lead a life of crime in my retirement fizzled quite pathetically this week. I was called on by a friend in need who locked herself out of her house. We couldn’t find any windows to pry open to toss her through, and all my usual tricks didn't work. It was disgraceful. I’m sorry to say, we had to wait and access a spare key…rookie move.

7. Any day is a fun day if you’re out on visits with the right people. Nothing like thinking you hit the jackpot so you don’t have to shimmy up a drain pipe, when you crack the code on a lockbox on the first try only to find the lock box empty. No thanks to the info I mentioned in #6, I was no help, and sadly, it wasn't me who cracked any code, like I said, I was off my game. My partner in crime for the day however, he was on it. Good thing he’s on the right side of the law because a criminal he will not make. Exhibit 3, the lockbox.

8. Despite living in The Woo just about my whole life, I still rely on google driving directions from time to time. When doing just that, I came upon this. Not sure what Table Talk Pies did to the person in charge of the google map site, but it must've been good. Please see Exhibit 4

9. Examples such as what I've shown you in Exhibit 4 only validates what we've all been thinking, everyone's gone off the rails just a bit. Peoples limits have been pushed, therefore they're pushing back, even if in subtle ways that most likely go unnoticed. To the mastermind behind the display of Table Talk hate on google maps....whoever you are, I noticed, I see you. I'd like a copy of this map printed and signed by you so I can have it framed and display it at my desk. It is a masterpiece and you my friend, are brilliant.

10. In office news that if you are a non Elder Services person you won't know what I'm talking about or care...

***No one be alarmed. Mike Nowicki is not missing. He was not taken against his will from his office by intruders, bullied by Amanda, or been abducted by aliens. Mystery solved...he's moved his office to Suite 100. You're welcome.

11. And last but not least...In case you haven't been in to the Elder Services office lately, again, don't worry. Jim Burns may have moved his office around in attempts to throw us all off, but he's still right where we left him doing the work of the people. He's holding down the fort folks and keeping people in line.

Have a great weekend!