Your Weekly Antics, Legends and Cameo Appearances Edition...9-21-23

Well kids, here we are. In case you weren't aware, we're almost through our third week of September. It's a non full moon week, but have no fear the world is, continues to be, and remains, nuts by all accounts. Buckle up. No signs of improvement any time soon. Here's what I've got...

1. I live with people who I've come to the conclusion are morally opposed to putting their dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Is there some memorandum floating around out in the community I’m not aware of, or a petition, or a group dedicated towards abolishing the practice of placing used dishes in need of cleaning inside this common appliance that 68 % of American households own? I know we’ve spoken of this before, but this morning as I readied myself for the day, which involves making my way to the coffee pot that I had turned on under the cover of darkness a wee bit earlier, I gazed upon my kitchen sink. The sink that didn’t just have a pot “soaking” in it from the night before - a particular person who lives here on our corner tends to like to "soak" things and then must think that soaked item mysteriously washes themselves - but also, this morning’s breakfast dishes left behind by others who occupy my home. I put a general question out in to the universe, to no one in particular stating, is there a notable reason why your dishes can’t find their way in to the dishwasher? Response I got was, Oh, I thought the dishwasher was clean. Famous last words...Now how would one know that if you didn’t open it up in an attempt to place those dirty dishes in there in the first place? X ray vision perhaps? I think not.

2. Here's a fun fact...although 68% of Americans own a dishwasher, it's noted that 20% don't actually use what is referred to in some article's as the loneliest home appliance. I'm no mathematician, but I can do simple addition. 68% + 20% = 88%. My official assessment of this fact is that leaves 12% unaccounted for. That left over 12% must consist of you scrubs who don't know if you own a dishwasher, can't identify a dishwasher, aren't sure how to open or operate a dishwasher, or who just don't care and insist on ignoring this appliance all together to make the rest of us crazy. Get it together. Clean up your damn dishes. If you care to read more about that lonely under used appliance, read below...

https://www.entergynewsroom.com/article/dishwashers-loneliest-home-appliances/#:~:text=Of%20the%2080%20million%20U.S.,year%2C%20according%20to%20DOE%20data.

3. That brings me to #3. Anyone else live with people who think the dishwasher unloads itself? Seriously. I don’t have magic pixie dust that I just throw all over the kitchen that attracts fairies or little goblins whose chore it is to make you more lazy and empty that dishwasher for you. I swear, I am converting to paper plates. All you eco friendly people out there, try me on this one. I’m not afraid of you – bring it.

4. Favorite children. As parents, we are all accused at one time or another of having a favorite child. Of course we don't, we love you all the same...or do we? Bet your ass Sam’s my favorite right now. Why? Because he doesn’t live here and second, when he is home, he loads and empties the dishwasher.

Exhibit 1, some of my favorites...Sam, RG and Meri, not for nothing, but look who trumped you and is featured in Exhibit 1. These three...these three right here are currently my favorites. Take that.

5. Ask the Kap kids who my favorite child is and I guarantee without hesitation they will respond Dolce, The Big Dog, God rest his soul. Ask me now and I'll tell you Gibson. Why? Because he has the common decency to at least lick up whatever the rest of these people have dropped on the floor. He doesn't ignore it. Walk over it or around it. Pretend he doesn't see it. He sniffs out whatever that tantalizing smell may be that leads him to a mystery tid bit or crumb and makes quick work at ingesting it. In short, he licks the floor clean, he's making himself useful.

6. Food, treats, scraps, you name it…we all have our vices. The youngest Kap kids vice at this juncture would be as we’ve spoken of before, the Nutty Pumpkin iced coffee from Dunkin’s. The kid has ventured out of the box as of late, or has at least tried to, attempting to order the Ice Spice frozen coffee. The Ice Spice is a frozen pumpkin coffee drink with pumpkin munchkins blended in it…sounds gross to me, but what do I know? With that said, who knew it would be so popular that one day last week we couldn’t find this drink anywhere. We started at our first Dunkins of choice, Paxton – didn’t have any pumpkin munchkins, sorry without pumpkin munchkins, it's a no - can - do. It was a beautiful fall day so why not take a ride? We then went to the Dunkins in Rutland, no again, all out of Munchkins. Heading back home and down the hill brought us to the Tatnuck Dunkins where again, we struck out. No pumpkin munchkins, no munchkins at all as a matter of fact, so again, no Ice Spice drink. Who knew that pumpkin munchkins, or all munchkins for that matter, were so popular that they sold out and couldn't be found anywhere. Perhaps Ben Affleck is to blame for the munchkin shortage, way to go Ben, way to ruin our day. Want to read more about Dunkins Ice Spice specialty drink? Probably not, but just in case, see below…

“Pumpkin spice season has gotten a bit predictable lately, so we sought help from our friends Ben Affleck and Ice Spice to create a new pumpkin obsession that only Dunkin’ can offer,” said Jill McVicar Nelson, Chief Marketing Officer at Dunkin’, said in a press release about the drink. “The result? The collaboration you never knew you needed: Pumpkin Munchkins and Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee, blended together to create the Ice Spice MUNCHKINS® Drink. It’s fun, it’s delicious and it’s not your ordinary pumpkin drink!”

7. At the beginning of our Ice Spice adventure, we found ourselves driving by The Plant Ward. Naturally this was a very slow drive-by to provide ample opportunity to view anything of interest on the Community Plant Shelf. Nothing was really calling our names, so we continued our journey in search of frozen caffeinated perfection. After our unsuccessful trip, we made our way back home disappointed and decaffeinated slowly driving back past the Plant Ward, in the event something new had materialized in the 45 minutes since our last drive by. As luck would have it – and luck it was – there on the Community Shelf was the youngest Kap kids all time favorite plant, the Chinese Money Plant also more formally known as Pilea Peperomioides, or the UFO plant, the friendship plant or missionary plant . What’s so great about this find? Meri had grown a Chinese Money Plant from a clipping she had purchased many months ago that she handled with care, flourishing and thriving until it didn’t. She loved that little bugger and what did it do? Out of nowhere, it up and died. Since then, she has been searching far and wide for its replacement and has had no such luck. So, thanks to the generosity of a Community Plant Shelf donor, the day ended on a good note after all. No Ice Spice Pumpkin drink, but a Chinese money plant for the win. Take that Ben Affleck. Want to learn more about the Chinese Money Plant? Here you go…

https://www.thespruce.com/growing-pilea-peperomioides-5090425

8. It wasn’t just plants that were acting like our love is what killed them…I made a quick stop in to see Gramma Edie last weekend. It was a quick stop because she sent me packing pretty much right out of the gate. My only saving grace was I had the youngest Kap kid and the three-legged dog in tow, both of which she was thrilled to see – me? Not so much. I did what every doting favorite grandchild should do upon arrival and leaned in for a quick hug. I was quickly spatula’d and then asked if I was trying to suffocate her. Don't test me Edie.

9. Fulfilling yet another parental obligation, I attended my online Parent class required by the Massachusetts RMV for the youngest Kap kid to get her license. Yup, you heard right, license to drive. A stipulation of being able to attend on-line is that your camera must remain on so that the instructor can see you and knows you haven’t logged on and then beat feet to do something more interesting. Unless you've been living under a rock, you've gotten with the times and should be accustomed to virtual meetings, appointments and computer etiquette. Yet here we are, long past the early stages of such computer and virtual phenomenon, still running across people who have no form of computer etiquette what-so-ever. Those who don't consider their surroundings or who their audience may be. Not thinking that their camera and/or speaker are on, and go about their daily business as if that electronic device they're using isn't giving the rest of us a birds eye view in to what's going on in their neck of the woods. Case in point. It’s Sunday night 6:30pm. I’m logged on, I’ve ensured that those participating can't see that I'm in my pj’s. I’ve treated myself to a crisp frosty can of Diet Coke and I’m ready to go. Others start to log on. Things are looking like they may be average and boring, but alas, it's early. Another kids Dad logs on and has clearly propped his phone up on the side of his grill and proceeds to throw supper on. Bet you don’t know what he was grilling, but I do. Want to know why? Because I could see the Price Chopper packaging from which he was removing his steaks before slapping them on those pre heated grill grates, that’s how. When I wasn’t looking at what seemed to be enough steak for the entire neighborhood, I, and everyone else in this meeting, had a perfect view of his crispy cold and refreshing, not Diet Coke, but Budweiser... drink of every back yard champion grill master. As if things couldn’t get any better, we were also fortunate enough to then watch his backyard guests get his fire pit, or more like bon fire started, and then witnessed this band of merry men throw anything and everything they could get their hands on, into that fire like they were burning books or evidence from a crime scene. I will say this. Props to this guy for multi-tasking. He managed to feed his neighborhood, rid his yard of who knows what via bonfire, not set his home ablaze, listen to this online RMV presentation, all while enjoying a frosty cold adult beverage in the comfort of his own back yard. Then at the end, when one would assume this guy hadn't been paying attention and had no idea what had transpired during this two hour on line seminar, he was the only one of 24 participants who had anything intelligible to say about the entire presentation. Multi tasking at it's best...I want to be this guys friend.

10. Listen up loyal Antics readers…Friday night at the Knights of Columbus on Circuit Ave in Worcester, 7 pm, Elder Services Alzheimer's Walk Team is holding their biggest fundraiser of the year – BUNCO – a game of dice and chance moderated by the one and only Meghan McDonald. As an extra added bonus, we have it on good authority that if we’re lucky, Leaf Blowing, Snow Blowing, Wood Working, Roof Raking, Grampa Joe may make a rare guest appearance. This appearance will not cost you any extra money. You will not have to surrender your first born, go to church, rob a bank, or kiss any babies. This appearance of good will and cheer will be free to all who attend. So if you were on the fence about going, reconsider...there may even be a Leah Hazard, Sue Miller and Mary Parenteau sighting. You don’t want to miss out.

And last but not least I'll leave you with one of the best phrases I've heard in a long time...

"There’s a light at the end of the tunnel…that’s great, but I’m afraid the light is actually from an oncoming train…” Words of wisdom from Claire, sometime in the past week.

Have a great weekend!