Your Weekly Antics - It's All About the Headband Edition.....5-19-22

Well kids, I hope you survived the heat of last weekend and enjoyed the reprieve of the past few days. The pollen has cut us a little bit of slack, so we at The Antics took our chances of potentially jacking up everyone’s allergies, threw open the windows and doors to air the place out and cool things off - everyone for themselves. Hope you took advantage and did the same because that clean cool fresh air is short lived. We will be back in hell come Saturday with the predicted highs well in to the 90’s. I hate the heat and do not fair well in the sun. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again...those extra hot days serve as a reminder to me why I strive to be a decent human being, because I do not want to spend all of eternity roasting in hell in the likes of 90 plus degree heat. It's just not good for me. Here’s what I’ve got…

1. Despite my lecturing all of you on sunscreen, I am my own worst enemy and fell victim to the suns rays at the youngest Kap kids softball tournament last weekend. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost the top layer of my skin and as a result I will be purchasing a floppy hat to wear upon my head, sure to embarrass my family members as we stand out in 95 degree heat on the Bentley University football field. Why will I be standing out there willingly to fry like squid on rock? To watch the oldest Kap Kid receive his Masters Degree. I may even attach a large sign or one of those fan things to the top of my hat just to draw even more attention to myself. I’ll let you know how it goes.

2. I’m my own worst enemy as I’ve touched a bit upon above. No thanks to losing the top layer of my skin to my sunscreen negligence, I could only manage to attend one inning of my nieces, Kolby and Kiley's softball game before having to retreat to find shade. I was like an vampire or an alien who had never seen the sun. It was Kolby’s Senior game, where they honor the outgoing seniors. Thankfully Helen Bibeau and her super camera skills were down on the field because I looked like Lee Harvey Oswald sitting upon the grassy knoll trying to get some pictures. Either I was legitimately blinded by the sun or Helen’s a super stealthy Ninja because I didn’t see her make her way down to the field. Exhibit 1, Helens close up shots head on. Exhibit 2, my shots from under the tree looking like a creeper. We gotcha covered kid, all you need is a few crazy Aunts...just wait until we follow you to college in the fall.

3. Travel softball season is back people, and with that is a plethora of material that only softball can deliver. Let’s just start with this, our fine coaching staff. These fine men, leaders and role models, are honing the young minds of our youth to prepare them for life on and off the field. With that said, it was a bit of a struggle for them to get their acts together to pose for this Coach’s photo. Exhibit 3, the Coaching staff when no one’s looking. Exhibit 4, what the rest of you see.

4. Our first softball outing of the travel season did not disappoint. Although they didn’t take home the championship, there were plenty of highlights – we could share some of those player highlights with you, but why would we do that when we can instead showcase the cutting edge style of our Coaching staff. Exhibit 5, Coach Matt and his infamous headband. I'm pretty sure he was being harassed by his runner on 3rd.

5. Occasionally in the heat of a game, a runner finds themselves in a pickle. For you non baseball and softball people, this refers to a runner getting caught running from one base to another, committing to advancing the base, but the opposing player has the ball and will tag the runner out should she continue to that base. As a result, the runner tries to return to the base from where she came, the opposing player throws the ball back to that base, so the runner can’t retreat, and the runner again tries to advance to the next base. This goes back and forth until either the runner wins the stand off and gets her base, or is tagged out. Sometimes you win in the pickle scenario, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you’re hot and tired and sick of running back and forth. Sometimes you even admit it. From one player who shall not be named…I got tired. I got lazy. I was hot. I was out. The End. Exhibit 6 the pickle.

6. With the heat and the rain, your grass grows...it's not rocket science, that's just what happens. We’re out in our yards. We’re planting and weeding and cleaning up. You may even be planting some new things here and there. You may move a decorative rock or two that border your flower beds, distinguishing where one should not weed or mow. You may put that rock down next to you, in the grass rather than where you're cleaning and planting. You may forget to put that rock back in its place and leave it on the lawn. It may get run over by your husband while mowing that lawn. That rock may be thrown by the mower right in to your front window. Moral of the story...put the rocks back where they belong and no one gets hurt.

7. The secrets out. Harley discovered recently that Al has been harboring her nemesis, the chipmunks. Making sure they're comfortable and go unharmed while running out and under the shed, and over and under the rocks and the fence mocking her the entire time. Al didn't get the memo that comfortable accommodations are not to be created for her enemy, the woodland creatures. It's all fun and games until his shed is full of holes from the little critters and Harley knocks the shed over when she eventually snaps, leaps over the fence in pursuit and runs right in to the shed that will have suffered chipmunk damage. There's only so much I can do people. It is what it is.

8. Dad jokes don't necessarily have to be spoken by the Dad of the person who hears the joke. It's all about the content of the joke, the delivery of the joke, and the lack of laughter as a result of said joke. Exhibit 7, Dad jokes are everywhere.

9. If you really want to aggravate someone, leave your dirty dishes in the sink. No one wants to get up in the morning, start the work of the people, and clear last nights dirty dishes from the sink. What's even better? When the dishwasher is full of clean dishes that no one emptied the night before. Now, you get to unload the dishwasher, put the dishes away, just to then load the carelessly piled dishes from last night in to the dishwasher. Now if this were happening at my house I'd tell people to get it together or the dishes and glassware will mysteriously end up missing like all those forks that seem to walk away. If that were to happen, one would have to resort to paper plates, and guess what...as the keeper of all things dinnerware, I would have kept a stash of dinnerware for myself leaving the rest of the violators of all things dishes to fend for themselves. No plates? Not my problem.

10. Update...the Bentley Commencement festivities have been moved indoors to the Bentley Arena. I. WILL. BE. IN. HEAVEN. However, this puts a dent in my big floppy hat plans. I may still wear it.

And last but not least, as this is commencement season, The Antics shall give its unsolicited words of advice to all graduates who care to listen. Clean up your messes. No one wants to start their day off doing last nights dirty dishes.

Congratulations to Sam and all of his fellow Graduates of Bentley University!!!

Have a great weekend!