Your Weekly Antics - Greetings from Your Funnier, Better Looking Miller....6-9-2022 Edition
- lisaalkap
- Jun 9, 2022
- 7 min read
Well kids, other than the four leggers in the Kap pack, all have been on their best behavior this week. Sam ignored my digs about his direct cookie violation, and I’m assuming that Walter isn’t aware that his cookie loyalty was called in to question because he doesn’t read The Antics. Angel is a loyal reader and would never ever consider straying from his baked good source, so I publicly apologize for falsely labeling him with the likes of Sam and Walter. Get it together boys. Here’s what I’ve got…
1. What’s worse than rabbits in your yard? Dead rabbits in your yard. Now don't get all worked up, Exhibit 1 is a picture of what a wild rabbit nest looks like full of baby bunnies (kits), should you run across one in your yard. Pot Belly Pig dog and Harley have been up to no good. Harley's given up on trying to catch the fully functioning and mobile woodland creatures of the 02 and has moved on to more stationary prey. Let’s figure this out shall we? Do I feel terrible that these jerks continue to disrupt the nests of baby bunnies in my yard? Of course I do. Have we taken measures to prevent such crimes? Yes again. But here’s this…what kind of Mother makes a nest in the middle of your fenced in yard that any animal would know has dogs living inside that fence? That’s just poor planning lady, I don’t know what to tell you. We have disrupted schedules on the daily to accommodate you and your poor planning, and these dogs still keep finding your babies. So how about this…you and your sister rabbits smarten up and have your babies outside of the fenced in area of our yard? There’s a lovely green plush area out back where the dogs aren’t allowed that would provide you with shelter, some foliage, good eats, a rabbits dream. Get it together and move out there. I can’t do everything for you…I can barely keep track of my own kids.
And just a reminder, if you find a bunny nest in your yard, those kits have not been abandoned. Leave them alone, their Mom will be back to tend to them, so keep your dogs away if you can. Exhibit 2, more info if you're interested in learning what to do should you find young wildlife in your hood.
https://www.mass.gov/service-details/what-to-do-if-you-find-young-wildlife
2. With the above said, I want to know, how is the wild bunny population booming here in the Woo if these un fit Bunny Mother’s have babies everywhere? It is not a phenomenon here on our corner – it’s happening in yards everywhere. The youngest Kap kid had a good point…maybe these rabbit Mom’s figure nesting these babies inside the fence is their way of keeping them safe from predators. That’s all well and good but Pot Belly and Harley have decided they’re the predators so those poor little things are sitting ducks. Let’s not forget…Harley has years of pent up rage due to her nemesis the chipmunk.
3. Okay, enough of my animal talk. It’s been mentioned recently (Joe Burns, that’s as anonymous as I’m going to get…) that I may just talk about the dogs and their escapades too often…what can I say? They are far more interesting than most people I meet. But I’ll see what I can do...
4. Heading out in the jeep last weekend with the fog of pollen floating around us and the UV index at a 10, I say to Al, gee, the sun is really hot. He says, no kidding, the sun is hot…like we don’t all know this and I’m just pointing it out to him for the first time that the rays of the sun, are in fact, hot. Shut it Al…I was pointing out the conditions of the sun as the UV index indicated it was at a 10 which, with the potential of burning your retinas, also put your fair skin at risk of sunburn. Far be it from me to show I am keeping his good interests in mind and point this out so that he could put on a hat and possibly apply some sunscreen. He’s on his own, because summer hasn’t even officially started yet and I have since hidden the sunscreen.
5. Check this out…Kolby Miller, high school graduate heading to Umass Boston in the fall – can’t take any credit for this kid, but I can still brag about her. I’d like to think that she may have inherited my genes and can at some point claim to be the better looking and funnier Miller of her pack as I do, but her sister and brother may beg to differ. Bottom line is, if you want to get away unscathed from such a statement, you have to say it out of earshot of your siblings, as I have. Ronnie doesn’t need to know that not only am I funnier than him, but better looking, that’ll just hurt his feelings. For instance, ask Mrs. Letourneau. My phone is saved in her cell phone as "Lisa Miller…the funnier and better looking Miller…” True story. Ask her next time you see her. Exhibit 3, Kolby, the new graduate.
6. According to Matt Noponen, the work of the people never ends, no matter what time of day or night, and now that I mention it, it starts at home. What does one do when the oldest Miller kid is in distress due to a wardrobe malfunction the night before Graduation? You go over and sew it up, that’s what you do. Exhibit 4, cropped for anonymity purposes…is that the writer of The Antics sewing that dress, Matt himself, or the Father of the graduate? You decide…it takes a village people.
7. No offense to any Graduates out there, I could barely sit through my own graduations. If you've been to enough commencement ceremonies, you all know that they can be long and drawn out, and often more times than not, one of the speakers will drone on and on about topics that don't particularly have to do with the graduate, their school, or their classmates, but instead about themselves, which lets face it, no one cares. Well let me tell you this...if there was an award for the best speech ever given at a commencement ceremony - one that hit upon all pertinent points that each graduate could relate to - that spoke of the graduates and their caregivers, schools and classmates in a respectful, heartfelt manner - all done in record time, that award would go to one of the commencement speakers I heard this week whose name shall not be mentioned...Exhibit 5, Evidence that this speaker was able to express heartfelt congratulations to the Graduates and their families in under 2 minutes, give or take about 10 seconds for me fumbling around with the timer...on behalf of all of those in attendance, thank you. #bestcommencementspeakerevahhhh
8. Okay, sorry Joe Burns, but we’re going to have to get back to the animals of the hood for a minute…During the wardrobe correction, we got to talking about the booming rabbit population in the Woo and the chaos that ensues in the yards of people with dogs as a result. That lead to talking about the rat problem in the Burncoat area. No, I didn’t say Boston, I said Burncoat. No, this is not urban legend, it’s a real thing that so far, to my knowledge hasn’t become a thing over here in the 02. Should those rats make their way to the 02, I am out. I don’t care where I go, but it will most certainly not be where they are. Gives newfound appreciation for those rotten chipmunks and squirrels and rabbits who hang out over here. I had a firsthand photo to publish as Exhibit 6, but decided it may not be appropriate for those of the squeamish variety, so you’ll have to be happy with this…a rat photo that is far easier on the eyes than the one provided to me by none other than amateur photographer Ronnie Miller - also you'll find an article speaking of the rat issue in case you don’t want to take my word for it…
*** And another thing...for all of your photo needs such as senior class photo's, give Helen Bibeau a call...she is now our unofficial family photographer, and unknown to her, this is her new side gig, so hit her up.
9. You’d think that a guy who isn’t bothered by rats and has managed to defeat those little bastards one trap at a time, wouldn’t be bullied and scared off by this little bugger who has taken up residence in his garage. This guy single handedly kept a certain individual from getting the necessary equipment out of the garage that was needed to complete the power washing and yardwork. What does one do in a situation such as this? You sit back with a Bud Lite and you wait that little bastard out, he'll eventually break or you'll run out of beer. I speak the truth.
Exhibit 7 Chipmunk standing his ground.
10. It's said that we all have a twin out in the world somewhere, looks like Angel found his in duck - form...even the ducks hair is on point. Walter, well we may never find one for him because he lives a life of mystery, flying under the radar staying as undetected as possible. It's like he's in witness protection, the back of his head was the best we could do - if that is really Walter, we're still waiting on confirmation.
11. And last but not least, Edie is 100 tomorrow people. One hundred years old. She's not overly impressed that she's made it to her Centennial Birthday and doesn't see what the big deal is. Her bigger concern will be if I bring her cake and if the Nursing Home has reconsidered its position on drinking vodka and brandy while on the premises. So in honor of Edie and Ida's 100th Birthdays, live it up - you too may find yourself at 100 years old and having your brandy intake restricted, so drink up!
Have a great weekend!
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